


Rogue; A Naruto Fanfiction.

by SonjaLeigh



Series: Rogue; A Naruto Fanfiction [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Awkward Romance, F/M, Sad and Happy, Slow Romance, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:07:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 26
Words: 50,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26901859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonjaLeigh/pseuds/SonjaLeigh
Summary: Follow the story of Kairi, the underwhelming daughter and heir apparent of the Yondaime Kazekage who has turned her own life upside down for what she believes in. Ending up in a new village, and a new secret division of Shinobi as she fulfils her duties in the background until someone takes notice..
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Rogue; A Naruto Fanfiction [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1962904
Kudos: 18





	1. Hide and Seek

**Author's Note:**

> This story is very much a work in progress, this is the second re-write of it, and I am planning to once again rewrite it once the full saga is finished. Any comments, suggestions and critiques would be very much appreciated. This story also has a playlist I've made to go with each chapter, and the music really influenced my writing. I hope you enjoy it and that it isn't tooo horrible lol. 
> 
> Just to clear things up as I've already had some confused readers; 
> 
> Chapter one: 
> 
> Kairi - 6 years old  
> Temari - 5 years old  
> Kankuro - 4 years old  
> Gaara - 2 years old  
> Kakashi - 15  
> Itachi - 13  
> Rookie nine - 2.  
> Hex - 8  
> Ryu - 10
> 
> Chapter 3:  
> Kairi - 14  
> Temari - 13  
> Kro - 12  
> Gaara - 9  
> Hex - 16  
> Ryu - 18  
> Kakashi - 23  
> Itachi - 21  
> Rookie nine - 10
> 
> The rest of Rogue:  
> Kairi - 17  
> Temari - 16  
> Kankuro - 15  
> Gaara - 13  
> Hex - 19  
> Kakashi - 26  
> Rookie nine - 13

"The secret side of me  
I never let you see  
I keep it caged but I can't control it.  
So stay away from me  
the beast is ugly  
I feel the rage and I just can't hold it."  
Monster - Skillet

I've always hated hide and seek, when I was a little girl I was never any good at it no matter what roll I had. I was always the first one to be found, and the one who took the longest to seek. I think that is why I hate it now.. the memories it brings up. When I close my eyes I can still picture that last game my siblings and I got to play together. I can feel the heat of the desert sun softly burning my skin, the sand that always stuck in my clothes carried on the wind. I can still smell the dry, chalky and slightly sweet smell of my homeland, the moistureless air still stings my taste buds. It effectively takes me back to what I still consider the worst day of my life, the day everything went wrong...

"Kairi-chan, hurry up!" Kankuro complained, throwing his voice into a shadowy corner not far from where I stood. I had already checked there, I knew he wasn't in the shadows but I still kicked a rock towards where his voice had sounded. I had kicked it so hard that it bounced off the wall and skipped over the sand, a wish that with enough force he may still feel it wherever he hid

I wanted to cry, I'd been searching for my brother and sister for well over fifteen minutes now and to a six year old this felt like years. Temari had been 'it' first, she'd found me instantly, lifting the lid of the urn I'd hid in and rolling her eyes. "You really make this too easy, you know?"

Temari was the most gifted at the game, and never remained 'it' for very long. Our father said it was because she had the will of the wind inside of her, Temari told us it whispered to her and told her where we hid. Kankuro wasn't bad either, he was always the hardest to find. Although my little brother is impatient and cannot keep his big mouth shut, he has learned to throw his voice so that you cannot tell where it came from. This new skill was purely to my dismay as that used to be the only way I could find him. 

I was the oldest out of my siblings, and I was supposed to be the heir to the village. Our village is hidden in the vast desert of the Land of Wind, it is a hot and arid place called Sunagakure. My father is Lord Rasa, the honored Fourth Kazekage, in my village that title has been passed down through my family for generations. Our family has been in power for so long that our clan name was forgotten and we are simply called the 'Kazekage Clan.' My destiny was to be Lady Kairi, Fifth Kazekage of Sunagakure, so you can see how embarrassing it is to constantly be outshined by my siblings. It was like I was carrying around pins in my heart, and every now and then they would pierce. It wasn't an easy pain to understand as a child, when all I wanted to do was make my father proud but failed at every turn.

It was another five minutes before I thought I got a clue in our game, a flash of red caught my eye. Temari was wearing a black kimono with a red belt that day, her bow had ribbons that would blow in the breeze, that's what I saw out of the corner of my eye, just a flash of red as it passed above my head. "Temari! You're not allowed to change hiding spots!" I whined, beginning to climb the wall of the building in front of me. 

At six I had barely any chakra control, everyone in my age group were leagues ahead of me. I'd even seen my younger sister focus her chakra in her feet and use it to walk up the side of a wall. I didn't have that skill, so I had to climb it the old fashioned way. One hand and one foot at a time I slowly went, climbing towards the roof I'd seen the flash of red dart onto. I was proud of myself when I reached the top, looking down at the street below as I triumphantly yelled a "AHA! Gotcha Tamari!"

The responding huff of disinterest was not the reaction I'd been expecting, and when I turned to where I thought I'd find my sister it wasn't her blond curly hair that met me but a mess of silver strands haloing a dog-like kabuki mask. I tilted my head in confusion as I took in the appearance of the boy. A red and white porcelain mask hiding the face of a tall, lean male figure. He was dressed in light grey body armor and had a red scarf wrapped around his neck, the scarf I'd mistaken for my sister's belt. He looked to be already a teenager and duel eyes stared at me from under his mask. One eye looked almost black in the shadows while the other shined a bright red, wielding an intensity I'd never seen before.

"Y-You're not Temari.." I stammered out, taking in the stranger. I'd never seen him in my village before, but I had seen masks like that. Visiting diplomats from other villages sometimes wore them when they met with my father. 

"Hmm, I guess you're not as dumb as you look." The boy said with a bored tone, his words only slightly muffled by his mask.

Those words hurt, nobody spoke to me like that. "I'm not dumb!" I protested, stomping my foot to emphasize the point.

He laughed a little, it was a harsh and cold 'heh' sound that seemed laced with sarcasm. It hurt almost as much as being called dumb, to be laughed at in such a way. "You're Kairi right?" He asked, seeming entirely disinterested in my answer. "You would almost think that the daughter of Lord Fourth would be able to find her younger siblings. Honestly, they expect a half wit like you to run this village?"

I glared at him, wishing daggers could really shoot from my eyes. I was so offended and caught off guard that it took me a few seconds too long to stammer out a very weak "Shut up."

He laughed a little louder now, shaking his head as he did. "You're a little runt, you know?"

"Denji!" Another voice broke through his cruel laughter, pulling my teary eyes towards it as yet another masked man landed on the rooftop between us. The new boy had long dark hair, tied back in a damp tail. The sweat in his hair and glistening on his arms further gave away that they were not from here, not used to the heat of my desert. "It is time to go, Lord Rasa has dismissed us."

Hearing my father's name made me perk up, partially forgetting about the cruelness of 'dog-faced Denji for a moment as I focused on the new boy. He was shorter than the first, giving away that he may be younger. "What do you want with my Daddy?" I asked, trying to keep my voice firm and even the same way father did. 

"Oh!" The dark haired boy exclaimed as he turned to me, as if just noticing I was there. He also wore a kabuki mask, his was decorated like a cat with cute ears. He didn't have the same duel eyes as the other, both of this boy's eyes were too dark to be seen through the mask. "Hello Kairi! You're such a little cutie, what are you doing all the way up here?" He ruffled up my hair, the way my uncle did when he was joking around with me. 

"I'm playing hide and seek!" I proudly informed him, something about that fact seemed like the most interesting thing in the world to us children. 

"She's failing at hide and seek." Dog-face added, uninvited to the conversation. This earned him another dagger-like glare from me.

"Denji!" The dark haired boy scolded. "She is only six if I remember correctly, and you cannot speak to the future Lady Kazekage like that." 

I puffed up my chest, placing my hands on my hips and sticking my tongue out at Denji. Cat mask was right, I was the future Kazekage and I was the honorable daughter of Lord Fourth Kazekage, nobody had the right to speak to me as if I was lesser. Had my father heard what that boy was saying to me, I imagined he'd feed him to the sand worm Kankuro said lived in the village well. 

"I was already a chunin when I was six." He shrugged off the scolding, and successfully deflated my ego.

Already a Chunin at six? That meant he had passed the Chunin exams at that age, I had older cousins that had never came home from the last exam. The sudden realization that this was a very impressive opponent dawned on me. 

"You're a bit of a freak though." Cat mask chimed with laughter before he turned back to me, his hand roughing up my hair once again. He knelt down and pulled his mask up, revealing a handsome face with clear skin, deep laugh lines and black eyes that were filled with amusement and kindness. "Your little sister is tucked into the drying laundry, Kankuro is cheating, he is at Baki's eating a big plate of cookies and Gaara is out in the middle of the next street over."

I grinned at him, forgetting to be curious as to how he knew this information. Not only was I ecstatic that he had revealed my siblings hiding places to me, but he'd also informed me about Gaara. My youngest brother was a mirage to me, meaning that since the day he was born we were kept apart. I was so excited at the chance to see him that I leapt into the dark haired boys arms and gave him a hug as a thank you for the information.

"You shouldn't have helped her." The other boy complained, shaking his head. "She needs to learn this kind of stuff if she is ever going to be a powerful kunoichi. If everyone keeps helping her, she will never be able to do it on her own."

Cat-mask shrugged slightly as he stood up and turned to Dog-face. "Eh, she reminds me of Sasuke." 

They were both still talking as they headed off towards the village gates. I wasn't even paying enough attention to throw a rock at Denji, I had instead crept over to the other edge of the roof and was staring down into the street. Just as the dark haired boy said he would be, the bright crimson haired little toddler was sitting on his knees in the middle of sand castles that swirled in and out of existence. My father always told us to stay away from him because of that living sand that followed him. He'd told us it was the will of the demon that lived inside my little brother, the demon that was blood thirsty and dangerous to us. I didn't care about that now though, the few times I'd been able to sneak some time with my baby brother had been safe and fun. "Gaara!" I called down to him, unable to keep myself from grinning when he looked up at me with those bright, brilliant blue eyes.

"Kai!" He cooed, stretching tiny arms up towards me as if he was reaching for a hug. I held my breath as I watched his sand react, flinging itself up towards me and wrapping around my body. This was how the little toddler gave hugs, and it was always much too tight but I never complained. I was wrapped in the sun warmed sand and brought down to the ground beside Gaara where it released me. 

"What are you doing out here all alone?" I asked him as I leaned down to kiss his little forehead. I cherished these secret moments with him, because being around him also felt like being around our mother. 

"U-uncle gone." He managed to sputter out "Gone for work." I grinned, this meant we would have a bit of time together. Gaara lived with my Uncle Yashamaru, who had taken him in at my father's request. "Look, Kai!" 

I giggled, loving the short form of my name that my little siblings favored as my eyes followed where Gaara was pointing. Shapes began to take form in his sand, I could make out four. The first was the smallest, and I knew that it was Gaara. The second was a little taller, and seemed to be wearing a cat-like hood which I knew to be Kankuro, still wearing the hat my mother had made for him. The third had three spike like pigtails and I knew that one was Temari, because she loved to wear her hair like that. That left the last one, the one with the long hair blowing in the wind to be me. The sand-kids played together, it looked like a game of tag as they constantly chased each other in a loop until a fifth shape popped up. From the rigidness in his body I knew it was father. He pulled the older three away from the little Gaara, and it looked like he was shouting at the toddler. It was so close to reality, what always happened when we were playing together that it hurt to see.

"Bad daddy." Gaara growled, dropping down his fist on the image of Rasa.

"Gaara no!" I cried, feeling the need to defend my father. He could be stern, and cruel but I believed he loved us with everything he had. That's what mama used to tell me whenever he was upset with me. I hated watching Gaara destroy him so easily. 

Gaara shoved me, not hard enough to make me fall over but enough that I got mad. I pushed him back, forgetting how much older I was and sent him skidding back a few inches onto his butt where he began to wail. His sobs choked me up, triggering my protective instinct as I rushed to his side and tried to help him up.

"Don't touch me!" His broken words said. "I hate you!" He didn't have to say them properly for me to understand the message. 

I felt the heat of that sand again, only this time it was burning as it began to cocoon my body. The small grains scraped over my skin, drawing the mass of it tightly around me and pulling me away from my brother. I didn't even get the chance to scream before it swallowed me whole, putting pressure on every limb, every bone in my body. I couldn't breath, I couldn't move and I couldn't cry. I felt sand in my ears, forcing its way up my nose, clawing down my throat as I still tried to scream. The pressure tightened, my bones made popping noises from every direction. I was suffocating, drowning, choking and being crushed all at the same time, and I knew I was going to die. 'Everyone will die someday.' That's what father had told us about mother, it made sense to me then but now it wasn't fair. I hadn't lived long enough, I hadn't even got to show my father that I was worthy of his love. 

"Gaara!" I heard my uncles voice through the popping of my own bones. "Gaara who is in there?! Stop, please stop!" 

"Kai." My baby brother whimpered. "I-I can't" 

I felt a small pocket of relief at my side as my uncle's words, closer now assured me that he was here and I would be alright. In defiance of my uncle, the sand seemed to squeeze tighter than before and I felt the worst pain in my chest. I wanted to cry out but the sand had already worked into my lungs as if it were absorbing me. I felt myself slipping away, the pain starting to dull as I lost consciousness. Instead of fear I felt excitement at the prospect of being reunited with mom.


	2. A Change of Fate

I can't really explain to you the utter feeling of despair that clouded my tiny, child's heart when I woke up and didn't find my mother waiting for me with open arms. I'd been looking forward to her, to not having to try so hard to gain my father's love, to not be a disappointment anymore but to just spend eternity in the arms of my gentle, loving mother. Instead, when I opened my eyes I was met with cold, pitch darkness of my bedroom.

The main house of the Kazekage clan -my house- is carved into the sandstone of the protecting valley that hides Sunagakure. Our house is designed in a way that it is cooler by far inside than it is outside. The downside of this cave-like construction is that there are no windows in the back half of the house, where my room is. My father used this to his advantage when he was displeased with me as he was now. The door to my room would be locked from the outside, and all of my lights and candles would be taken away, as they were now. The utter darkness that enveloped me had terrorized me my entire life and as soon as I realized it I began to sob. The sheer terror that clawed at my throat as I sat there, trying not to imagen what was in the room with me felt like it could choke me.

I pushed down the fear, feeling around my bed until my hand met with the unnatural warmth and plushness of the little white teddy bear my mother had given me when she first got pregnant with my sister. I was too young to remember her words, but the bear meant she would still love me even when her love was shared. I clung the bear to my chest as I dropped my feet over the edge of the bed, praying to Kami that nothing grabbed them. When I built up some more courage I slid off the bed and felt the way along the smooth stone walls until my hand met with an unfamiliar sensation. Colder than the walls, small, sharp particles slid between my fingertips like water, blocking the path to the door handle and keeping me from picking the lock as my father's advisor Baki had taught me to do. 

Realizing I was truly trapped in this endless blackness I began to scream at the top of my lungs for my father. I screamed until my throat burned and I was all out of tears, curled up with my back against the cold wall as I cuddled that warm bear. My screaming gave way to coughing as I was forced into silence from the pain in my throat. I continued to whimper myself to sleep because I refused to hear what noises might come from that darkness.

In my dream that night, Gaara was a 50 foot tall monster that smashed apart our village and rampaged after our father. He growled, and howled as if he were in pain and with his monstrous shape the only reason I could recognize the sweet little toddler was those bright blue eyes. He caught me in his clawed hands, and crushed me before I even got a word out. For the first time in my life I was absolutely terrified of him.

"Kairi-chan?" My other brother's voice pulled me from the dream death. 

"Kro?" I whimpered, opening my eyes and flinching against the light he held in his hand. 

"Daddy is gone to council, Baki made some breakfast before he left... Do you want some?"

I wiped away the ghost of tears and nodded slowly, my eyes adjusting as I stood up and followed him out from the room.

"I tried to come get you last night, but he wouldn't let me." The four year old told me, but I already knew that from the dark bruise decorating his cheek.

Temari was sitting at the table in our kitchen, she had already set up bowls of the soup for us. "Kairi!" She purred as she saw me, jumping up from her chair and coming to hug me. "I missed you!" She wouldn't tell me she tried to help me, she never disobeyed our father. 

Once we were finished hugging we all sat down and began to eat. Kankuro made his noodles dance with the Chakra strings he'd learned from the puppet core. He wasn't very good at it, but the fact that the four year old could even get it to wiggle like a worm was impressive. Temari and I both burst out in giggles as he tried to make it fly and winded up with noddle face. Things were beginning to feel the way they normally did when the three of us were together. As much as we competed for our fathers attention and favor we were best friends. We weren't allowed to hang out with the other village kids, our training schedules were too busy and our mentors were very demanding. 

"Are you mad at him?" Temari suddenly asked, as we were cleaning up our dishes. 

"At Father?" 

"No, Gaara." She corrected, passing a bowl to me to dry before I passed it to Kankuro to put away. 

"No.." I admitted, it didn't sound very believable though. It wasn't that I was mad at him, I was afraid of him. 

We heard the front door close and it was already too late for me to sneak back into my room. 

"Kairi!" My father's voice forced silence into the room. "Picking locks again?" 

I turned to him, refusing to look up at him as I nodded. I hadn't, but I didn't want to get Kankuro in any more trouble or get him punished again. Temari remained silent, continuing to clean the dishes. 

"Your uncle and I need to speak to you, go to your room." Father demanded, rubbing his hand through his fading brown hair as if he were frustrated. The older he got, the less his hair seemed to look like mine. The red and violet tones seemed to fade out of it and give way to the mousy brown color of Kankuro's. I was silently happy that his hair was changing, I didn't want to look like him.

"Yes, Father." I stated quietly, turning and walking back to the bedroom that had so many times been my prison. I'd become so resentful of this room that when I wasn't in trouble I slept with Temari in her room. 

Yashamaru and my Father followed me into my room, with Rasa picking me and my bear up and setting me down on the bed where I held it in my lap. There was a tension in the room, and I was just waiting to be screamed at. 

"How many times have I told you to stay away from that child?" My father growled at me once he'd kneeled down to be at my eye level. "I tell you, and I tell you that he is dangerous yet you continuously disobey me. You could have died, you, my heir.. What would I do then?" 

I couldn't look him in the eyes, I knew what he would do. He'd told me so many times that if I couldn't become better than my siblings he would make one of them his heir and disown me. I held my quivering lip between my teeth as I turned away, not wanting my face to betray the pain. Father did something that surprised me then, he took my face in his hands, wiped my tear away with a thumb and kissed my forehead with a tenderness I'd rarely known from him. 

"Some good may have come from it." He gave me a little smile as he pulled back and looked to my uncle. "Isn't that right brother?"

Yashamaru was not my father's brother, he was my mother's. He was her twin brother in fact, and looked just like all of the memories of her I held precious. Her hair was a little darker than his, but they both had the same sweet, kind faces and indigo eyes that had been passed down to Temari and I. "If it is what I believe it was, yes." He answered Rasa.

I looked curiously and confused between the two of them. They were being vague and not making sense and I didn't like it, but I was too afraid of my father right now to complain.

"Tell me again what you saw, Yashamaru." Father commanded, with the softer tone he saved for his close friends.

"Well, Gaara had her wrapped up in that sand.. He was crushing her to death. I was trying to dig her out but it was just getting tighter. Temari had run to get you but it was going to be too late." Yashamaru looked like he was sad as he thought about my death. "I thought I'd lost her when the sand started to change... First I thought it was getting darker.. But then the dark sand pressed down on Gaara's and forced it to let her go."

"The Iron sand." My father's eyes were alight with pride as he said it.

I knew what he was talking about. My great uncle, the third Kazekage had a kekkei genkai that was called the Iron sand. My father had spent his life trying to teach it to himself though has only managed to do so with gold. I wondered if he'd finally mastered it and had used it to save my life.

"I only wonder how it was passed down to her." Rasa continued, standing up so he could pace the room now. "She was not related to Lord Third by blood. Minoru married into the family, and when he disappeared without heirs, I became Kazekage." 

"I remember that." Yashamaru nodded. "If she was to inherit anything I figured it would have been Karura's sandstorm technique.. Seems its died with her though." 

"You know it took your sister years to learn and perfect that technique, give it time." Rasa made an attempt at putting his mind to ease, before switching back to the topic of myself. "I thought if she'd really inherited the magnetic style she would have easily been able to remove the barrier from her door last night."

"It took so much chakra for her to fight off Gaara that she was knocked out for a week even with constant medical attention, Rasa. I don't think she would have had the strength to move even a single flake of your gold." Uncle explained, concern for me painting his voice. "Wait, you're not about to subject her to tests?" 

"How else will we be sure?" Father spat.

"She's never had any kind of Chakra control! It makes sense now.. " 

"Well you are supposed to be seeing to her training, why hasn't she mastered it when Temari already has?" 

"She's too nervous, she cannot keep it in focus." Yashamaru threw back at him, his words painted with the implication that it was my father's fault I was nervous. "Besides, to be trying to manipulate and control two natures at a young age?" 

"Enough." Father said, with a heavy sigh. "I am taking her training out of your hands, brother. I'm going to submit her to Baki, to be trained with his A.N.B.U units." 

"That may be the best idea, she could grow into an elite kunoichi under that kind of guidance." Yashamaru agreed. 

"She'll never see Gaara again." Rasa resolved. "He will not take my legacy from me, she will grow up to become Kazekage and continue my reign." 

I didn't like the sound of that, even as a child I knew my father didn't look at people as people. He moved units around like a game, though he was careful with them. Sunagakure was in a chokehold by our land's Feudal Lord, father said he was a fool and was going to ruin the village. In honesty, people liked Rasa, they thought he was a great ruler, but I knew he was also a cruel man and I didn't want to be that way. 

"I'm sorry, Rasa.. I didn't know he would be out of the yard." Uncle bowed his head as father picked me up off my bed once more. 

Rasa allowed me to tuck my legs around his waist and rest my head on his shoulder. It was hard to remember how he'd locked me away when he showed me this sort of tenderness. I craved his approval, and his love no matter how cruel he could be and I lived for these rare moments when he was a father to us. "It isn't just Gaara." Father said, keeping a tight hold on me as he carried me out of my room and out of the house. "She relies too much on her siblings, I need to break her of that." 

"What are you saying brother?" Yashamaru asked, struggling to keep up with my father's determined steps. 

"I'm saying that I would like you to go back and keep Kankuro and Temari from following us." Father nodded to where they had trailed out of the house. "Kairi won't be coming home again."


	3. Another Heartbreak

From that day on I was raised by my father's advisor and the leader of the Sunagakure's Anbu forces Baki Takahashi. He quickly became like a second father to me while I was living in the dark depths of the hidden training grounds. Unlike my own father, Baki was kind and patient with me, but he was stern when he needed to be and that combination had me flying through the training. By the time I turned 14 I had almost full control of my magnetic jutsu, learning new ways to combine wind and earth, and was able to unarm my opponents within seconds of a battle starting and turn their own ninja tools against them as long as it had some sort of magnetic mineral within it.

During my time in the Anbu I'd made friend's with two other orphans in Baki's care. They became my team members, and like siblings to me. The first was an eighteen year old boy named Ryu of the Amano clan, he was incredibly tall and very handsome. His clan had turned him over to the village as payment for their own protection and he was amazingly skilled with close combat. He was my favorite person to spar with because after he'd learned the secrets of my jutsu he'd begun creating his ninja tools from anything but metal. I'd grown a crush on him over the years, but he treated me just like a little sister. Whatever affection he gave to me was playful more than flirtatious, he saved that kind of affection for the second member of our team.

The sixteen year old girl was known only by the name Hex, and what was known of her was mostly whispered rumors of a murdered clan and a desolate village. She was stunningly beautiful, with raven hair and eyes so black they could swallow you. Not just the iris either, Hex had eyes unlike any I'd ever seen, there was no white to them, just black. She was also gifted with a kekkei genkai, as rare as my own. She could manipulate and control darkness itself. She wielded it like puppets, twisting it into monsters that could swallow a man whole. Her biggest and most obvious weakness was the light, but that is why we worked so well together. I could pull minerals to block out the light, to cast darkness on the battlefield. 

I'd performed so well with my team that Baki had made me captain and the others hadn't objected even though I was the youngest. I'd led them on countless missions, and we went for weeks at a time, chaining through missions at unheard of speeds. The three of us shared a passion for the missions because they distracted us from the pain in our lives, the faces in our bingo books became our only goals. We all liked it this way, three orphans against the world, even if I wasn't really an orphan. I hadn't seen Rasa in years, and my siblings since the day I left them. Uncle Yashamaru was in the Anbu and used to keep me updated, but it had become too painful and I'd started avoiding him. I'd regretted that, and carried the guilt with me because Gaara had killed him a few years back.

If I'd have known this trip with my team would be our last I'm sure there are a lot of things I'd do differently, but how could anyone know what was to come? We had finished up a mission in the Land of Waves and were headed back home to regroup and get some more mission briefings, deciding to see how many faces we could cross out on the way home. We were only an hour into the Land of Wind when Ryu spotted an abandoned village he wanted to camp out in. 

"A fire in one of those abodes would keep us for the night." He explained, gesturing towards the half buried empty buildings. Something about the village felt dark, wrong, like something horrible had happened here. 

"We will keep moving." Hex growled, refusing to look at the place. 

"Kairi?" Ryu turned to me, expecting me to overrule her. 

I gazed at him, remember our fight from the night before. I'd tried to take his hand while we were walking along the coastline, he'd pulled away. 'I don't want you to get the wrong idea' his words had felt like a slap in the face. The voice in my head that would never shut up told me I wasn't good enough for him, wasn't strong enough, or pretty enough. I fixed my gaze in a stone faced expression and sided with Hex "I don't like the looks of this place, let's keep moving and camp in the dunes." 

"You're kidding right?!" He growled at me. "You hate the cold as much as I do, this place is abandoned and harmless." 

"I guess we don't have as much in common as I thought." I said softly, turning to continue walking.

We did as I had said, finding a flat enough spot between two large dunes that we could camp for the night. The desert might be a sweltering wasteland during the day but at night the temperatures dropped to deadly lows. I honestly did want to stay in the village with walls to keep the heat in, but my pride wouldn't let me agree with Ryu. We sat around the fire now, Hex and I leaning back to back to hold each other up as Ryu scavenged for tumble weeds and other fire fuels to keep us warm.

"Are you upset at me?" He asked as he sat back down, pulling my legs onto his lap.

I watched him, absently trailing his fingertips along my calf as he stared at the fire. I almost felt bad for how I'd reacted the night before, for not speaking to him most of the day but that stupid voice took over again, degrading me until I felt lower than dirt. I pulled my legs out of his grasp, curling them against my chest and cuddling my face into my knees. "No."

He ruffled his greenish tinted hair and sighed heavily. "I'll never understand women." He groaned as he laid back against the sand, looking up at the stars.

"You'll never understand anything." Hex teased him, bringing lightness back to the mood.

I stayed quiet, my eyes on the fire as I tried to sort my emotions through my head. I didn't feel like I should be upset, but I was. I was so upset that I wished I didn't exist, wished I could be with my mother the way I wished for that on the day Gaara tried to kill me.

"Lord Rasa said I can go back home, I can stay with my clan and still be an Anbu member." I heard the smile in Ryu's voice, and I couldn't help but smile too, even though my face twisted at the sound of Rasa's name. "I get to see my mom again.." 

"Shh." Hex hissed, and I could tell by the way her body went rigid something was wrong. "We're surrounded."

Ryu and I bounced to our feet, whipping out weapons and taking defensive positions. "How many are they?" I asked Hex, squinting to try and see past the light of the fire. 

"Ten." Hex answered, moving back from the fire as she began to make hand signs to draw monsters out from the dark.

I brought the minerals out of the sand, gold, iron, anything I could get my chakra into and quickly pulled them over the firepit, dousing the light. We'd been surrounded before, ten wasn't that many. Hex and I would start it, her darkness swallowing enemies whole, my iron sand crushing their bodies where they stand and Ryu would get anyone who made it too close. We were a well balanced team, and we were rarely overpowered.

"You just made that a lot easier." A voice came from behind us as Hex fell to the ground.

"Fucking shadow possession." She groaned, trying to fight against the constraints. "Konohagakure."

I was panicked now, Hex had never gone down before. I should have encased her in sand to break the connection but instead I moved to disarm. I closed my eyes, focusing on every hint of metal around us and pulled them towards me. Confused grunts and shouts rewarded my efforts as I took their weapons. I ripped them towards me and then dropped them as I focused my chakra back into the minerals in the ground, I could still crush them.

"Ahg.." Ryu's voice was strained with pain. 

I opened my eyes and looked through the darkness at him, the glint of moonlight shone from the shuriken in his back. When I pulled on the weapons he'd moved and gotten in the way. The minerals I'd gathered fell like rain around us as I stared at him in shock. Ryu let out a wet sounding cough and fell to his knees in front of me. I went to grab him, to get him away from the fight and start medical care on him but he held his hand up to me. "Don't.." He rasped out. "Hex needs you."

"You just keep making this easier.." A voice said from directly behind me, then I was knocked to my knees, face to face with Ryu who was no longer grasping for breath.

"The girls stay alive!" Another voice ordered from the shadows. I looked up to where that voice had come from and I was met with a single glowing red eye in the darkness. Before I could react I felt the world slip away, the landscape shifted to something darker. The sky was the same glowing red as that eye and everything else was either black or white. I was alone in the dunes, and everything was too quiet.

"Kairi Kazekage." A man's voice greeted me as he materialized in front of me. An elder man with bandages over the left half of his face and traditional style robes. "I was hoping to meet you under different circumstances."

I took a shaky step back from him, backing into a solid black wall that hadn't been there a moment ago. "Who are you? Where are they?" I whimpered, my mind focused on Hex and Ryu. 

"My name is Lord Danzo. The girl will be coming with me, a little agreement I have with your father.. I am sorry about the boy though." His face held no remorse, on the contrary he was smirking at me.

My world was shaken, we hadn't been captured in so long... and Ryu, oh god Ryu. Was he really dead? Why would the leaf village attack us? My father agreed to this? I felt sick, my head was spinning, there was too much happening. "Why did you do this?" I sobbed, sliding down the wall and curling into the fetal position. 

"You're too emotional girl, too attached." Danzo commented without sympathy. "I run an organization in Konohagakure, we seek out particularly talented members. Hex is going to become one of our ranks.. You could too."

"I'll kill you for this." After I said the words, a black metal bar fell from the sky and pierced my body from left shoulder through my torso and dug into the sand. I screamed out in pain as I tried to pull it away from me with my kekkei genkai but I couldn't feel my chakra.. Genjutsu. Of course this was a genjutsu, it was the only thing that made sense. As much as I tried to convince myself that none of it was real, the pain still ripped through my body. I couldn't focus enough to pull off a yin release right now.

"I cannot take you, your father would start a war... but I could make you great Kairi." He continued on as if nothing had happened. "I could teach you to rid yourself of the emotions, of the pain."

That actually sounded tempting, I still carried pins in my heart and they seemed to be stabbing me more than not these days. If I could shut it all off I would in a heartbeat, missing my family was the most overbearing. I couldn't betray my village though, and there was no way in hell I was going to give into the man that killed Ryu. I looked up at him, and smiled a little before I spat on him. I couldn't reach his face from the ground but I think it still got the point across. Pain ripped through my body again as another bar pierced me, this one straight through my chest, pinning me to the black wall as the first one ripped into my skin adjusting to the new position I was forced into. I again tried to convince myself that none of it was real, but the pain made me cry out anyways. "Just kill me."

"You're too rare to die." Danzo hushed me, trailing his hand along my cheek now that I couldn't fight him off. "I have a feeling you won't be so loyal to your village soon enough, I'll wait for you in the village hidden in the leaves."

With that he was gone, and I was once again alone, pinned to the ground and this black wall. Shadows began to take shape in front of me, Ryu formed first kunai and shuriken piercing his entire body as he coughed white blood in front of me. "Why did you do this to me?"

I bit back tears, looking anywhere but at the boy I loved.

Hex was next, white blood pouring from the neck of her shadow like copy. "You let us die." She whimpered, collapsing beside Ryu.

The bodies piled up in front of me in this manner, all of my loved ones falling at my feet and blaming me for their deaths. Yashamaru, Baki, Temari, Kankuro, Gaara, fellow Anbu members, the village elders, the village kids. It tore me apart inside, there was no convincing myself it wasn't real. The pain and guilt welled up inside me until I was in hysterics, but after a while I couldn't feel anything anymore, there was nothing left inside me. The scene in front of me left me hollowed out and numb, I felt like the shell of the girl who'd once been here.


	4. An Old Friend

"Hello?" A voice called to me, I ignored it, thinking it was another body to throw itself on the pile.

I kept my head down, focusing on the pain of those metal rods so that I could feel something but suddenly they were gone. I fell forwards, no longer pinned to the wall but instead of landing on the pile of bodies I landed on warm sand in front of me. It was back to its regular color, no blood or bodies in sight. I lifted my head and looked up in confusion, it wasn't Danzo I found this time but a familiar looking man in a black cloak covered in red clouds. His dark hair was tied back from his face, he had deep laugh lines, and bright red eyes. He had the same eyes I'd seen in the dark before I'd fallen into that nightmare land. I let my head fall back against the dirt, muttering out in monotone "Have you come to kill me now?"

"Where are you from?" The man asked, closer now as if he had leaned down beside me. "What is your name?"

I didn't want to answer him, I just wanted to die.

"I found you out here in the desert.. There is a body beside you but you were still breathing." He continued. "You're very badly sun scorched, I don't think you have very long so let me help you."

I lifted my head once more now, gazing around me for the body "Ryu?" I rasped out, wanting to see him again.

"I'm sorry." I was met with the face of this man, kind with concern. "I didn't break the genjutsu because I didn't want you to be in pain. I just changed it, to something less... horrible.. Who did this to you?"

"Danzo." I coughed, rolling onto my side so I could get a better look at him. I felt like I had been pinned to that wall for months, watching those bodies fall.

The man cursed under his breath "That bastard." His voice was a growl, he knew him... well it seemed. "What did he want with you? Who are you?" He asked again, tilting his head.

"K-Kairi." I managed, trying to pick myself up and failing as I collapsed back into the sand.

His eyes softened even more, and he moved towards me, brushing hair out of my face so he could look at my eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't recognise you, you have grown so much."

I stared at him in confusion, wondering how this man could possibly know me. It didn't help that I had completely repressed the day I'd met him, erasing it from my memory so that the pain wouldn't be too much.

"I guess you don't recognise me either, huh?" He shrugged. "I'm going to pick you up now, okay?"

I nodded, and he reached his arms under my body to pick me up bridal style. When he got to his feet again it looked like he was walking but we weren't moving anywhere. "I'm sorry." I said gently.

"My name is Itachi.. We met when you were very small, I was on a mission to your village and my friend was being rude to you."

I closed my eyes and tried to remember but all I got was a flash of Gaara's outreaching hand as he tried to crush me with his sand. I flinched, and the motion caused pain to shoot through my body, making me cough. When I opened my eyes again I found Itachi's staring intensely into mine. Something seemed to shift in the swirling pattern of those red eyes. 

Itachi's face looked dark now, as if he had somehow seen what I had seen. "I'm so sorry your life has gone like this, Kairi." He gave me the saddest smile I'd ever seen. "This world makes monsters of us all."

We were silent for another few moments, Itachi walking in place and myself cradled in his arms, thinking about what he had said. This world was broken, and so were the people living in it. People like my father, or my little brother.. I'd learned over the years that Gaara didn't have a demon inside him at all but a tailed beast named Shukaku, my father had put it there when Gaara was only a baby. What kind of monster would put such a beast inside their own child? "I've no love for this world." I finally agreed with him.

"Your villagers are coming, I must leave you now." Itachi said as he gently set me on the ground. "Don't let them make a monster of you too."

He vanished into a murder of crows, spreading out into the sky as the genjutsu slipped away from me and the true sensation of pain began to set into my body. The sun burn made it impossible to move, and my throat was drier than I'd ever known. This pain made the pain in the genjutsu truly seem like a dream.

"Kairi! Thank god!" Baki cried out as he fell to his knees beside me, he seemed as if he was about to reach out to me but then decided not to. I was thankful he didn't, worried about anything touching my skin in the pain I was in now.


	5. Mission: FAILED!

"That's the price you pay  
leave behind your heart and cast away.  
Just another product of today  
rather be the hunter than the prey."  
Natural - Imagine Dragons

When I once again opened my eyes the pain had subsided, I was able to move my limbs now. As soon as I stretched out, I heard a sudden gasp from somewhere beside me. "Kairi! You're awake!" An unfamiliar boys voice called, cracking as if he was approaching manhood.

I gazed at where the voice had come from and once my vision focused found Rasa staring back at me, but it wasn't him. This boy was much too young to be him, his face wasn't cruel enough. "Kankuro?"

"We thought you were going to die!" The boy whimpered as he walked over, taking my hand as if we were still siblings. "You have been out for weeks."

"Weeks?" I tried to understand what he was saying, ignoring the awkwardness of the situation. I hadn't seen my little brother in almost nine years. He was acting as if we hadn't been separated, as if we weren't strangers.

"She's awake?" Temari asked as she burst through the doors, coming to my bedside where she grabbed me and pulled me into a hug.

I didn't hug her back, half because I didn't have the strength to and half because I didn't know if I wanted to. They had both grown so much, Kankuro must have been twelve by now and Temari who was boasting a genin headband was thirteen. My life and theirs didn't match up anymore, we were from the same bloodline, the same village but different worlds. I felt like I didn't belong here with them and that voice in the back of my mind was shouting that at me.

"We've missed you so much." Kankuro muttered against my shoulder as he joined the hug.

Temari pulled back and held out a small white bear, beaming with pride as if it was a treasured prize. I reached for it, feeling like it was the polite thing to do and when my hands grasped it my body filled with this unnatural warmth that came from it. I felt my eyes well up with tears, being reunited with my family like this. "I missed you too."

"Kankuro, Temari, what did I tell you?" A sharp, harsh voice that I recognized immediately ended my explanation of where I'd been. "Get out." Rasa demanded. 

My brother and sister gave me a sad look before they left the hospital room, closing the door behind them and leaving me here with the Kazekage. I once again curled into a ball on the bed, hugging my knees as I looked up at Rasa, his age beginning to show on that stern face. "Where is Baki?"

"He is back in the hidden training grounds." Rasa informed me, and it stung that he wasn't here in my room waiting for me to wake up. "You have no need of Baki anymore, your training is complete. I've been waiting for you to finally wake up so that you could carry out your next mission."

There was no hint of concern in his voice, no remorse about what had happened to me or my team. He was all business, as if he was addressing one of his subordinates and not his daughter. The man made me sick, I no longer wished for his approval or sought out his love. He'd ordered my uncle to kill my baby brother and had gotten him killed in the attempt. The man in front of me was nothing more than one of the monsters Itachi had spoken about. Still, I was dutiful to the village, to the Anbu and our orders came from the Lord Kazekage. I slipped off of my hospital bed and kneeled in front of Rasa, placing a fist across my chest. "What is my mission, Lord Fourth?"

"First, what the hell happened out there?"

"We were attacked by the Konoha's Root forces." I mustered every last inch of the dwindling respect for this man I had.

"Danzo made his move?" Rasa said more to himself than to me, his eyes looked past me and out the window. "How dare he, without my go ahead!"

"I'm sorry your hostage exchange didn't go the way you planned." I growled at him and immediately felt myself flinch as those dark eyes landed on me again.

"So he told you about Hex?" He raised his eyebrow, I could tell he was annoyed. 

I pushed myself up to my feet, glaring at my father. I didn't need to answer that, he knew the answer as soon as I'd spoken.

He sighed heavily. "What about the other member of your team? Does he know what happened?" 

"Ryu is dead."

"Good, I can't have this getting out." He nodded.

Something twisted inside my stomach, something sick and angry. I felt the corner of my lip curl as I thought about what he'd just said. Hex was taken, and Ryu was killed and this bastard had the audacity to worry about his reputation, his standing as Kazekage. 

"Kairi, get your emotions out of it." He snapped as he saw the look of contempt on my face. "You want to be Kazekage? This is what it takes! You know the state of our village, the lack of forces, the budget cuts, the Feudal Lord is suffocating us. I made that deal with Danzo so that the next time the chunin exams are held in the Leaf Village we will be able to send more genin, so he would look the other way as I admitted my children into the exam.."

"He tortured me!" I shouted at him, unable to hold back the tears. "He killed Ryu! Took Hex!"

"He what?" Concern flashed across Rasa's cold eyes, and he quickly made his way to stand in front of me. He took my face in my hands in one of his rare acts of tenderness. "He wasn't supposed to go for you." 

I pulled away from him, jumping backwards and using the palm of my hand to bounce myself off of the hospital bed and into the far corner of the room. "Don't you touch me." I glared at him "you who would rather him kill me so nobody knows about your deal."

"Kill you?" He gasped, genuine shock on his face. "All I have ever done is protect you."

I stared at him, torn on the inside. He could be so cold, and so cruel to everyone around him but there was always this secret tenderness he showed to me. 

"You're my legacy, I could never let anything happen to you Kairi." 

There it was, he didn't care about anything but my kekkei genkai. He wanted to groom me to be the same as him, to be cold and heartless and rule the village with my iron sand. I understood that he wanted what was best for the village, but part of me also wondered if he simply enjoyed the power of his position and was hungry for more of it. "I'll never be like you."

"I know, daughter." He smiled, his face a cold stone once more. "You will be better, you will do better. I have come to give you the first mission that will pave your path to becoming Kazekage."

I didn't answer him, I just stared at him and waited for the mission briefing. 

"The jinchuuriki of Shukaku has proven too unstable, the beast went on another rampage while you were gone and killed a council member." He informed me, and I was reminded of the night that Baki had come to me and told me Gaara had killed our uncle Yashamaru. "The experiment has failed and I need you to reset the board."

"You want me to kill my little brother?" The words came out as barely a whisper, the flash of the shadow Gaara in the genjutsu playing in my mind. The toddler had waddled up to me, crying out 'you've killed me..' as he fell onto the pile of bodies. 

"Gaara is merely a stranger to you." 

"Because of you."

"I was protecting you!" He shouted, crossing the room and cornering me against the wall. "Gaara already killed your mother, your uncle, countless villagers and has tried to kill you. What more reason do you need to do what is best for the village?"

"Why are you asking this of me?" I was full on crying now, that ugly cry that catches your throat. "You're the one who has always stopped Shukaku." 

"I need to know that you are ready to do whatever it takes to better this village." 

"I won't do this."

"You cannot disobey me, I am your Kazekage!" He was shouting directly in my face. "This is what your village requires of you." 

"Then it's not my village anymore!" I sobbed without thinking about what I was saying. 

Rasa's fist connected with my cheek, knocking me backwards with a force that made my head hit the stone wall behind me. I slid to the floor, blinking until everything stopped spinning and holding the lump that was growing on the back of my head. I wasn't crying anymore now, I just felt numb the way I had inside the genjutsu. He stared down at me, opening and closing the hand he had hit me with and I felt pride that my jaw had hurt his hand. "You will do as I say, you will not disobey the will of Sunagakure." 

I slid a kunai out of my pouch and crossed out the Sunagakure sigil that was carved into the red headband I had tied around my upper left arm. In my anger I sliced too far and cut into the skin of my arm causing blood to pour from the wound. I looked up at my father and saw his hand coming down at me. I weaved the signs as quickly as my hands could and substituted my body with a large stone carved table from my bedside. I didn't even check to see if he'd broken his hand before I ran out of the room, slamming the door behind me. I found my siblings a little ways down the hall in the waiting room. I didn't want to talk to them but they both jumped up as I entered the area. 

"Kairi!" Kankuro said softly as he took in my appearance, the swelling on my face, the lump on the back of my head and my bloody arm that was covered by the now crossed out village symbol. "What the hell did he do to you?!" anger had changed his boyish face into that of a man, it was unfortunate how much he looked like our father.

I shook my head and tried to make my way towards the entrance but Temari stepped into my path, putting her hands on my shoulders to hold me in place. We stared at each other with our matching indigo eyes, gifts from our mother's bloodline. "Don't leave us again." She pled with me, handing me that white bear again.

I paused, suddenly feeling something through the numbness. I didn't want to leave them again, much less leave them here with him. I was worried he would hurt them the way he did me, or even worse what he wanted to do to Gaara. "I love you guys." I managed to say, it was true I would always love them. The emotions left me as soon as I heard my father's voice coming from down the hallways. I shoved Temari aside, dropped the bear and ran for the door, calling back to them as I left "Protect each other, protect Gaara!"

I couldn't risk going back down into the hidden training grounds to retrieve my belongings, but I was willing to take a risk at spending just a few more seconds in the village. I ran up to the wall that surrounded my home, my eyes trailing over the messily scratched in names that decorated it. The names of the loved ones people had lost over the years, of the village's fallen heroes and of civilian tragedies. I quickly lifted my kunai and etched in the only name I would ever add to this desolate memorial, Amano Ryu and then I began the climb to freedom.


	6. Curiosity.

"Then I saw the worst was over  
When I laid my eyes on you.  
It was all that I could do to know my place."  
Song 3 - Stone Sour

Kakashi groaned for the fourth time as Naruto ordered another bowl of ramen. It was the last day he had with his team before they started their Chunin exams and Naruto had somehow convinced him to treat them to ramen. As he watched the little knucklehead slurp up that fourth bowl he wondered if recommending them really was the right thing to do. "You know Naruto, I think you could keep up with Choji."

"What's that supposed to mean?" At least that was Kakashi's best guess at the blond had said through his full mouth.

"Naruto.. You idiot." Sakura whined slightly. "Don't talk with your mouth full."

"Were you raised by apes?" Sasuke's sass dripped into the insult.

He's one to talk Kakashi thought to himself as he looked at the four bowls neatly stacked in front of Sasuke. Sakura hadn't even finished her first and Kakashi had finished his only a few moments ago. He sighed and put his hand over his face, ten bowls of Ramen was going to be his entire earnings from the last mission. Shinobi should be paid more.

"Sensei, are you ready to go?" Sakura asked him softly, drawing him out of his moping.

"Are they finally done?" He asked, looking around but he didn't see them. He heard them soon enough though, outside arguing with each other. He couldn't help but smile as he paid for their meals, they reminded him so much of a time long passed.

Kakashi followed Sakura out of the shop to where Naruto and Sasuke were arguing, now apparently over who was raised by apes and who was raised by pigs. He was about to break the fight up when a shadow passed smoothly across the ground in front of him. He curiously looked around, expecting to find some sort of bird when he spotted a Kunoichi on the corner of a buildings rooftop to the left of him.

As he watched her with curiosity she let the hood of her cloak fall, and lifted her Anbu mask up onto her head so she could get a better view of... Naruto... she was staring at Naruto. This peaked Kakashi's interest as he wondered why he hadn't been informed of them watching the jinchuuriki. When the sun caught her seemingly brown hair it lit it up in shades of red and violet and something about it tugged at his memory. It was like déjà vu, he had seen that hair before.

Kakashi lifted his headband to get a better look at her, she was seemingly too fixated on Naruto to notice that he was watching her. He took in every detail of her pointed face to try and remember where he had seen her. She was younger than him, yet older than his idiot squad and the rest of the rookie nine. His sharingan locked on her eyes, they were indigo, a very unique coloring but he didn't know of any clans in Konoha with those eyes.

"Uh... Kakashi Sensei?" He heard Naruto's voice from beside him. "Why are you staring at that Anbu girl?"

Kakashi froze, Naruto had said that pretty loudly. He glanced sideways at the boy who was actually pointing to this girl.. If she was watching Naruto she definitely saw that. He cringed a little as he looked back up to where she had been, he couldn't see her but he heard a faint giggle moving away from them. This was part of why he wore his mask, so nobody could see how deeply red his cheeks turned when he was embarrassed.

"Naruto!" Sakura half shouted as she bashed him on the head a few times. "You just called him out in front of a girl!"

"No no no!" Kakashi said nervously as he waved defensively at his students. "I was simply curious about what she was doing here.."

"So curious you had to get a better look with the sharingan, Sensei?" Sasuke asked sarcastically, making the other two laugh.

Kakashi wanted to disappear into the ground, or all together. He groaned a bit as he face palmed himself, he'd been completely obvious about the whole thing and she had probably known the whole time. "You guys go rest up before your exams.. I have some paperwork to do."

Before any of them could say another word he dropped a smoke bomb and took off running in the way the girl had gone. He was one of the fastest Shinobi in Konoha and she was just a girl, probably only a chunin, he figured she would be easy to catch. He bounced across a few roofs before he caught her scent, he knew it had to be her because it was nothing he'd ever smelled in Konoha before. She smelled sweet, but earthy with a bit of spice.. A mix between wet sage and the sweet, lotus like night blooms of the desert cacti.

He heard her giggle again, not far away from him. He took off in that direction, following the chime of her laughter and her scent caught on the wind. He came to an old ventilation unit on top of one of the restaurants and by how thick the smell was he decided she was right behind it. He slowly peeked around it and felt defeated as all he found there were a few small flakes of what seemed to be gold, heavy with her scent.

She was toying with him, and he kind of liked it. He looked around, embracing the challenge as he tried to pinpoint which scent was truly hers. His sharingan would have helped if she had moved when he was watching but she seemed to know that she could only move when his back was turned, she'd faced a sharingan before. It was a dizzying goose chase of soft giggles and sweet smells before he was sure he had her cornered. On one side of the rooftop they were now on it was the sheer cliff face of the Konoha Kage memorials, and he was between her and the streets. There were a few hiding places for her here on this rooftop, but they were all lined up so he would see her no matter what.

He was about to peer around the bell tower when he heard a loud shout from above him. "KAKASHI MY LIFE LONG TOO COOL FOR SCHOOL RIVAL!" He groaned as he looked up and then jumped back quickly so Gai wouldn't kick him in the head. When he regained his composure he heard that giggle fading away again. He cursed the green beast under his breath as he pulled the headband back down over his sharingan.

"Sasuke said you were up here chasing some girl." Gai said, dramatically raising his hand and bringing it down with a thumb up. "I'm glad to see you've finally found an interest in women!"

Kakashi glared blankly at the other man.

"It is about time to pass our youthfulness and skill down onto another."

"That's child abuse." Kakashi groaned, Lee was enough of a clone, Gai didn't need his own kids.

Gai laughed the dig off, walking over and clapping a hand over Kakashi's shoulder. "Always joking with you, Kakashi. That's what I love about you."

"Yeah yeah." Kakashi tried to inch away but Gai pulled him in closer.

"Where is this beautiful, youthful woman?" Gai belted out "As your best friend and number one rival I should meet her!"

Youthful being the key word. Kakashi sighed, shaking his head at Gai a little. "It's not what you think, she is Anbu, she was watching Naruto."

"What would they want with Naruto now, after all these years?"

"I don't know." Kakashi shoved his hands into his pockets and shrugged. "I'm going to ask the Hokage." With another smoke bomb he escaped Gai's forced bromance.

\----

"I'm telling you Kakashi, there is no Anbu Kunoichi like the one you describe." Hiruzen said as he sorted through his roster yet again.

"I saw her Lord Third, she had the tatt---" Sudden realization dawned on Kakashi. "She's not Anbu she's Root."

"I have a roster of all of Danzo's members as well and she's not among them." Hiruzen sighed, he was beginning to worry they had been infiltrated. "You and I both know he's no longer allowed to recruit."

"There's something familiar about her, I just can't place it." Kakashi mused softly, and then more business like he added "she was watching Naruto."

"A spy." The Lord Third Hokage said with a defeated tone.

"I won't let anything happen to Naruto." Kakashi vowed. "I will find her and bring her in."

Hiruzen nodded gratefully, barking out the cough of an old man as he restacked his rosters in order.


	7. A New Village.

I'd spent at least six months in the desert by myself, constantly shifting hiding spots and changing directions once I'd realized the Suna Anbu were after me. They had once been my friends, my comrades but the bigger betrayal is that Baki had treated me like a daughter and had raised me from the day my father had dropped me off there. I suppose I shouldn't have been too surprised, their duty was first to the village. My father had probably weaved some twisted story about why I had deserted, it was one of the highest crimes you could commit, punishable in our village only by death. My face was now in the bingo book, among all of those I'd once lived to hunt. 

In the close encounters I'd had with my village's special forces though, they had been as reluctant to use deadly force against me as I had been against them. Though my actions were simply because somewhere inside this empty shell, they still meant something to me. Theirs were no doubt orders from my father, to bring me back alive no matter the cost. He couldn't risk losing his secret weapon, his legacy. After I'd accidently killed one of the girls Hex and I had once shared a room with, I decided going against them like this would only end in more fallen friends.

I headed for the border between the lands of Wind and River and then to Fire, crossing over into Konoha Shinobi territory where I felt I had less of a chance of confrontation. I was proven wrong the very night I'd crossed over though, with a ten man team of Danzo's foundation Anbu ambushing me at my campsite. I had no reason not to fight them off with all I had this time and I'd quickly reduced them down to a four man squad when they finally got me in constraints. It took a certain jutsu to manage it, monster-like shadows reaching out from the forest to grasp me and hold me in place as one of the Kabuki masked culprits stepped towards me. 

"I see you took well to your new roll." I spat at Hex, bloody and bruised from the battle. 

She lifted her mask and looked at me with those hollow, black eyes. "Lord Danzo said you would cross over, we didn't think we would have to wait so long." She informed me, her voice as monotone as anyone from the Root. 

I smirked, looking at her fallen teammates around us. "He's paid quite the price for me." 

I saw the hint of a smile on her face before she recomposed herself, releasing me from her shadowy trap so I could fall to ground in front of her. "We aren't going to kill you, we were sent with an invitation." 

"You can tell him to get fucked." I gave her my reply as I stood up and rubbed the bruises on my limbs. I wouldn't kill her, and I felt like she knew that. 

"Kairi, you have no home now." She tilted her head, and I saw what looked like sorrow swimming in those black depths. "Join him... Join me." 

I looked into her stone cold face and saw something more there, a pleading look almost fully concealed by the training she'd no doubt received. Hex was right, I had no home, no family and nowhere to go. As much as I hated the man she now worked for, I wanted to be around her, to at least have some part of my life back. "I'll join you." I conceded, bowing my head to her in respect and to show her I wouldn't fight against her anymore. 

She'd taken me back with her to the Root headquarters where I was made to bow down to yet another man I despised. I was given a uniform, a Konoha bingo book and a room in the depths to share with Hex the way we had back in our own village. I'd been asked to do unspeakable things to prove my loyalty to Danzo, and out of loyalty to Hex I'd done them without a second thought. We were both changed from the best friend who'd lived in the sun a lifetime ago, now we were creatures of the dark, weapons of Konoha. We were not supposed to be here, Danzo was no longer allowed to recruit so we were supposed to stay hidden, to complete our missions as if we were invisible.

Danzo had allowed me to join the squad that Hex captained, which included us and a robotic like boy named Riku. I couldn't help but hate him because he was the exact opposite of the life and vibrancy that was once Ryu. We were effective though, one of the deadliest teams he had control over, and Riku watched us like a hawk for anything he would need to report back to Danzo which kept Hex and I in line. 

Two years into my new life, I witnessed the plot my Father and Lord Danzo had put into motion back then. It became Konoha's turn to host the Chunin exams, and due to my siblings being in town I'd been locked up inside the headquarters and now allowed to go out. Hex had kept me updated though, I'd learned Kankuro had began his apprenticeship to become a master of the puppet core. Temari wielded the large and beautifully hand painted fan that had once hung in my Mother's study, beautiful and deadly like the wind that was our shared chakra nature. Hex seemed reluctant to tell me about Gaara, but I'd pried out of her that the boy now smelled like death and had all but become the monster everyone said he would. I felt that old pain in my heart again, the first thing I'd actually felt in a long time. He hadn't been given a choice in life and I couldn't imagine what type of things had gone on after I left to turn such a sweet little boy into such a beast. 

Hex came to me one day with panic on her face, explaining that the village was under attack by Sunagakure and Otogakure. We later found out that all of it could be traced back to one of the legendary Sannin, a snake-sage known as Orochimaru. He'd killed not only the third Hokage, but also Rasa. I knew I should feel something about the death of my father, even if it was relief but I was so hollowed out I took the news as I would a regular mission casualty report. 

It wasn't long after the attacks that I was freed from my temporary prison, signaling my siblings had left the village. I'd barely been out for a few hours when Hex found me on a rooftop, announcing we had a mission. She let out a groan though as she unsealed the briefing and showed it to me "We're on brat watch." Brat watch was the name she'd come up with for the boring mission that made its rounds in the Root of monitoring and reporting the activities of the Konoha Jinchuuriki Naruto Uzumaki. 

"I guess we should go get Riku." I sighed, pulling the hood of my Anbu cloak up over my masked face. "It's already ten." 

"I heard the little brat doesn't even get up till noon." Hex laughed, but nodded and we headed off to the old tree where Riku liked to sketch. 

"Saori." Riku growled at me after we'd informed him of the mission, he used my codename as it was the only name he knew me by -I'd picked the kanji for sand just to spite Danzo-. "Don't bother toying with that Jonin again, this time I will report it." 

I rolled my eyes, the last time we had been put on Jinchuuriki duty Naruto's sensei had spotted me and decided to try and chase me down. I'd easily evaded him, using a magnetic technique Baki and I had worked on which involved spreading my chakra infused minerals out in all directions. Since then I'd enjoyed watching him chase down my identity, and I'd even taken to leaving him notes filled with clues that were truly complete nonsense like 'We are the shadows, we are legion.' It was childish, but it brought a rare smile to my face.

"He's serious." Hex warned and I nodded. 

When we couldn't find Naruto at his apartment, Riku suggested using his spider scroll to spread out among the village and find him. I shuddered at the thought of thousands of ink black spiders creeping all around the village and shook my head. "It is easy to find him, if he isn't at home he's at Ichiraku Ramen." 

We were about to head over to the food district but something familiar in the crowded streets caught my eye. Two men wearing black cloaks with red cloud patterns were moving through the streets away from us. I knew that cloak as the one Itachi had been wearing the day he rescued me from the desert. Curiosity took over as I watched them, wondering if one of them could in fact be the rogue Uchiha. When I came to Konoha and got my bingo book, I'd learned Itachi had massacred his entire clan aside from his little brother Sasuke, who he'd once claimed I reminded him of. 'This world makes monsters of us all' rang through my head as I started walking towards him. I wanted to ask him why he'd done it, he seemed kind to me, not one who could commit such horrors. 

"Saori." Riku snapped at me, pulling my attention back to where my teammates stood watching me. 

"They seem suspicious, I'm going to go check it out." I said only to Hex, who nodded and lead Riku off towards the ramen shop.

I leapt up onto the rooftops to follow them as far as I could before I was forced back to the ground as they left the built up part of town. I masked my chakra by using my magnetic jutsu to spread it into various minerals and divide them all throughout town. It's hard to tell if someone is following you when their chakra can't be pinpointed. I tailed them down to the harbor, but I began to sense someone following. I let myself fall behind even more and tucked myself out of sight when the other chakra signatures got too close. The men seemed to notice it too, because they stopped walking as Kurenai and Asuma -Two of the Village's Jonin- appeared in front of them.

My suspicions were confirmed when Itachi removed his douli. That man was unmistakable, from the deep laugh lines, the long tied back black hair and his sharingan. I wanted to get closer, to hear that voice that was comforting and as smooth as velvet but the Jonin had beat me here, I wasn't supposed to interfere in their business. The other took his hat off as well and I felt sickness as I looked at him. His skin was an impossible blue and he seemed to have gills, he looked like he was part shark or something. I recalled his name from my bingo book, Kisame Hoshigaki a dangerous shinobi indeed.

I instinctively pulled out a kunai as I saw Kisame's blade drop. I felt the tensions in the air, the fight would come soon. It surprised me that Itachi would come back and attack his own village but, maybe Itachi had come to finish the job he'd started years ago. Sasuke looked so much like Itachi that I had done a double take the first time I'd seen the boy. 'She reminds me of Sasuke..' Itachi had spoken those words of me a lifetime ago. Now I understood the sadness in those black eyes of his.

"Do not involve yourself in this fight." A voice warned me, this one was not Itachi's. "You're not allowed to interfere."

I nodded, I knew that already. I recognized this man as the leader of team 7, Naruto's team. He was the Jonin I'd taken to toying with. I'd seen them all not that long ago, the Jonin had even tried to chase me down again but there was something familiar about him beyond that, I was distracted by the grunt of the female leaf Jonin and when I turned back the man was gone. At that point I should have gone back to my own mission and met up with Hex, but I wanted to see what happens, I wanted to gather information to pass towards Lord Danzo. I climbed the tree I was standing under and made my way to an outreaching branch for a better view.

Itachi was standing over the female Jonin in the harbor, the silver haired man behind him. Kisame swung wildly at the Hokage's son I knew as Asuma. I'd never met him, he was one of the ones Danzo had asked I stay hidden from as he was sure to inform the Hokage of my existence. Kisame used a water style technique I hadn't seen before, but it was countered by a flash of silver hair who used the exact same jutsu to block it. I looked back to where Itachi was and realized Naruto's sensei had used a Shadow clone jutsu to attack both at once. I could see from my spot in the trees that he had lifted up his headband to reveal his left eye. He had a sharingan as I had learned they were called, the same eye the Uchiha's possessed and judging by the scar that ran from eyebrow to cheek - he hadn't been born with it.

"Kakashi.. It's you." Itachi said as he turned to face the duel eyed man. "Such a quaint little reunion." His sharingan turned upwards to stare directly at where I was hidden in the trees.

Being from the leaf village, Itachi was bound to know the others who lived here. I didn't think much of what he said, instead I moved further into the tree hoping Itachi hadn't actually seen me.

"Okay, talk." Kakashi had ignored him as well. "What's a rogue shinobi like you doing in Konohagakure?"

"Saori." The darkness in the shadows of the tree whispered to me in Hex's voice. "You need to come now, Naruto is leaving the village."

I bit down on my inner cheek, my eyes narrowing at Itachi. I didn't work from a bingo book any longer, but he would still be a prize. The familiar pain of avoiding one of Danzo's orders radiated through my body from the curse mark he had placed on my tongue. Not only could I not speak about my missions, I also couldn't refused them and my mission was to track Naruto. I groaned, weaving a sign my father had taught me that allowed me to pull magnetic minerals and form them into a sort of third eye. I left it in the tree to watch and then followed a butterfly that had come from one of Riku's scrolls to where my teammates were waiting for me at the edge of the village.


	8. Big Trouble.

"Those markings really creep me out." Hex commented on the sage-like black rings around my eyes as we followed behind Naruto and the pervy old Sannin. "They really make you look evil."

I smirked a little, opening one eye to give her a narrow glare that would make me look positively twisted. I kept my other eye tightly shut, focusing on the fight back in Konoha that I was watching through the third eye. With stronger jutsus like this I achieved the same eyeliner like rings that Gaara always had. My father had taught me the jutsu, and it took a lot of chakra and concentration to manage it. Hex had her arm linked with mine, leading me along as I focused with both eyes closed. "The copy ninja just said something about the Akatsuki." 

"Well, that is interesting." Hex mused, I heard the smile. We'd been curious about this group from the rumors we heard down in the foundation and we knew Danzo would be interested in any information we could gather about them.

"Must be what those cloaks are - fuck." I opened both my eyes as the third eye jutsu dissipated, leaving me unable to watch any more of the altercation. I had enough information though, I'd heard Kakashi say some other things I wasn't sure I was ready to repeat yet. "Out of range."

"Maybe we should have let you stay back." Hex commented.

"We have our mission." Riku droned, without any hint of personality.

"You know, someday you're going to have to learn to be human." She complained at him, but he ignored her as usual.

"They are stopping at a village up ahead." Riku read out from a scroll one of his birds had just dove into, splattering into words across the page.

"Go time! Spread out!" Hex ordered, all captain now. 

We did as she said, rushing into the treeline to pick vantage points where we could monitor and jump into a fight if needed. Something was bothering me though, twisting at my stomach so much that I couldn't focus on my mission. During the battle back in Konoha, it had been brought up that the Akatsuki were after the jinchuuriki of the hidden villages. That meant they were after Naruto, but even worse - I had over the years discovered that the demon inside Gaara was actually the one tail, one of the legendary beasts, that made him a jinchuuriki too. I had no idea what they wanted with them, but I knew it couldn't be good. My little brother didn't deserve what happened to him, and he didn't deserve anymore pain because of it. I was beginning to feel sick to my stomach, which happened often when I couldn't feel my emotions properly.

When I couldn't stand it anymore I left my post, heading off into the forest in search of some cool water I could splash onto my face. It was the only thing that usually helped when this kind of episode took hold of me. It started with feeling sick, and sweating which were harmless but soon enough I wouldn't be able to breath, my vision would blur and sometime I'd even blacked out. I wouldn't let that happen again, especially not in the middle of a mission. I knelt down in front of a stream, splashing the mountain sourced water onto my face and arms. It was soothing, but it didn't quite the panic. I felt helpless to protect Gaara, it was over powering when most of the time I had trouble feeling anything. I'd have to find some way to get a message to Baki and let him know Gaara needed to be guarded.

"Kairi, what are you doing out here all alone?" I closed my eyes and stood up instinctively as I heard Itachi's voice. He'd caught up with us so quickly that I couldn't help but wonder what he had done to those leaf Jonin.

I pressed my eyes even tighter, knowing that as soon as I saw him he would have me under a genjutsu the same way he'd done to the silver haired shinobi. I couldn't tell him what I was doing here even if I wanted to, the curse mark made sure of that. He could torture me, but the mark would kill me before he got any information. I thought about the jinchuuriki now, asking him a question of my own. "What do you want with them?"

"With who?" He growled, his breath hot against my face now, letting me know he was standing directly in front of me. "You don't know what you're talking about." his words were more insistent than taunting, as if he were urging me not to continue.

I was naturally defiant, and his push to silence me only made me smirk as I answered him. "I know the Akatsuki are hunting jinchuuriki."

The only way I knew Itachi had sighed, is that I felt his hot sweet breath on my face again but he hadn't made a sound.

"You heard her." Another voice came from behind me, and then a loud thump as Kisame's sword hit the ground. "She knows that we are hunting them, time to silence her."

I could see that blade in my mind, Samehada - the shark blade, it was as infamous as Kisame himself. I'd seen the damage it had done from simply slicing Asuma's arm, he could rip me apart with it in a single beat of my heart.

"Open your eyes, Kairi." Itachi's velvet voice plead to me, sounding more like the Itachi I had met before. He slowly raised my mask off of my face, letting it rest on the top of my head and I wondered if he realized the mask I'd chosen was the one he'd wore when I met him in Sunagakure.

When I shook my head and pulled my face away from his hands, I heard a movement behind me and I felt my heart drop. I was about to be run through with that blade and torn up as he pulled it back.

"Kisame!" Itachi commanded to his partner. "Calm down, she possess a rare jutsu that could be of use to our leader."

"You're just not going to let me have any fun today." I heard Kisame complain as his blade once again hit the ground and I could breathe again.

"Open your eyes." Itachi hissed through his teeth now.

I shook my head again, focusing my chakra on creating a protective iron sphere around my body. 

"No you don't." He growled as he grabbed my face roughly, digging his nails into my cheeks and causing tears to form in my eyes. I was expecting more pain as he jerked my face forwards but what I was met with was even more upsetting. Something soft and smooth pressed against my lips, and as he breathed through his nose onto my face I realized it was his own. My eyes shot open to find his staring triumphantly back as his lips curled into a smile against mine.

Itachi broke off the kiss before I could push him away and as I looked around I couldn't find him or Kisame. There wasn't a single hint they had ever even been here with me, I also didn't find the iron sphere I knew I'd been forming. I tried to run, to chase them down before they got to Naruto but I tripped when I'd lifted my foot. I fell to the ground and my body began to be wrapped in roots and vines as they burst up from the ground. I struggled against them but they only dragged me back to the ground when I'd managed to get free. I felt their thrones burning in my skin, and I felt a burn in my lips where his had touched mine. I realized with bitterness that he'd kissed me to get me to open my eyes so that he could put me under a genjutsu.

I screamed out loud in frustration, breaking my hands free to weave yin release signs but none of them worked. I shouted out release until I was hoarse and my throat burned but it was useless. I was going to be taken to whoever their leader was, and I'd rather die than see what he was planning for me. I wished I'd put a capture capsule in my mouth before we'd left on the mission, instant death in one bite seemed better than being stuck and helpless once again.


	9. Ninja Dogs to the Rescue!

"Shoo, Shoo! Get out of here!" 

Gai's voice woke Kakashi, who found himself in extreme physical pain that caused him to wince even as he gently tried to turn his head to look at the bushy browed sensei who was waving his hands wildly at the window beside Kakashi's bed. He narrowed his eyes in confusion when he realized he was in his apartment, in his bed when the last thing he'd remembered was fighting Itachi and Kisame at the harbor. 

"What is it?" He managed to croak out, his voice weak from strain. 

"Kakashi!" He heard one of his other friends, Kurenai whimper as she appeared at his side. He hadn't seen her, but he assumed if she was here than Asuma would be as well. "Shh, don't talk.. You need to rest." 

Kakashi rolled his eyes, ignoring her as he used his elbows to prop himself up on his bed. He was never one for being babied, or for listening to nurses for that matter never mind his childhood friends. He pushed some of his silver hair from his eyes, realizing his headband was gone and noticed a black bird sitting in the window where Gai had been flailing a few seconds ago. He recognized it was a crow, but as it turned his head to him he noticed it had a sharingan as well. 

There was barely a blur before the room around him was replaced with a rooftop in the desert village, Sunagakure. The sudden change was almost dizzying and it took him a moment to steady himself on his legs, though his body no longer hurt. He gazed around the village, now tinted red but he didn't have to wait for long for an answer. 

"Do you remember this day?" Itachi's voice came from beside him, he hadn't been there only a second ago. 

Kakashi gave a dark laugh, remembering the last time Itachi had caught him in a genjutsu. "Here to finish the job?" 

"I won't kill you like this, Kakashi." Itachi conceded. "I need that eye of yours."

Kakashi was about to cuss him out when he saw something out of the corner of his eye moving at the edge of the building. He watched as a small girl, no more than a shadow, crawled up onto the roof and raised her arms in triumph. She had no words but she suddenly turned around in reaction to something, and glared at him. The memory came back, she was the useless little Kazekage child he'd met all those years ago. He'd heard she had been killed by her youngest brother, Gaara. He turned to Itachi with confusion but Itachi simply nodded back towards the girl. When Kakashi turned back the shadow version of her changed, giving her a woman's body with a long ponytail and what looked like Itachi's old Anbu mask. Recognition hit him like a freight train, he'd seen her before not only as a girl but as the woman he now saw. She was the Root girl he'd chased through the village, the one who was sending him notes. He'd never made the connection of her mask and Itachi's before as his had red kabuki paint where hers was purple. "Kairi..." 

"She's grown into an outstanding kunoichi.." Itachi mused, almost in awe of the girl. 

"Why are you showing me this?" Kakashi demanded as he swung around to face the rogue shinobi. 

He saw the shadowed shape shifting again in the corner of his eye and turned to watch as tiny sand-like particles swelled up into a sphere around the girl. It reminded him of Gaara's ultimate defense Jutsu and he wondered if the girl had the same technique as her brother. He began to wonder if she really did have dark intentions for Naruto, had she joined Itachi after all? Was she part of the Akatsuki now? 

"She's inherited the magnetic release jutsu of the third Kazekage." Itachi sounded utterly fascinated. "She would be an asset to our organization." 

Kakashi let a sigh of relief out, that meant she wasn't already working with them. If she could crush people the way Gaara could, she would be deadly in the hands of the Akatsuki. He eyed the shadow again, thinking back to the conversation he and Itachi had with the Fourth Kazekage all those years ago. "He wouldn't chose you, not now, after what you did." He spat out words like venom. 

"He seemed to favor me." The Uchiha's eyes had somewhat softened, Kakashi could tell he too was recalling the conversation. 

"I'll kill her before you can corrupt her." Kakashi growled with determination. He owed this girl nothing; Itachi was right, Rasa would have chosen him for her if things had gone differently. He'd done worse for the sake of the village, he'd lived with worse. He would kill her if he had to, no matter what was supposed to be. 

The scene around them shifted to a clearing in the forest, a small stream running through the middle of it. As he gazed around he saw Kisame with the shark blade raised, about to run through the black metallic sphere that formed her defenses, the front of it already smashed out like an egg as Kairi stood there, frozen in place, her eyes wide in shock. Itachi appeared in front of her and ran a hand along her sharp jawline as he looked at her and then to Kakashi. 

Itachi raised a hand and a flock of crows shot towards Kakashi's face, causing him to put his arm up and protect his eyes. Itachi's dark laughter rang in his ears as he began to fall into nothing. "She's already mine." The rogue vowed.

As soon as Kakashi realized the genjutsu had broken he shoved himself upwards off his bed to the protests of his friends. He wove his signs and slammed his palm against the blankets before they could stop him. He was weak, and had only managed to summon three of his ninken but they would be enough.

"Buru, Bisuke, Pakkun.." He addressed them with a weak voice. "Naruto has left the village with Jiraiya, there is a girl following them who smells of Sunagakure... Find her and bring her back to the village, or kill her."

The ninken had each of his students scents just in case anything ever happened, and all they would need to do now was follow Naruto's scent until they picked up Kairi's. He knew she would be following him, it seemed to be her mission as he'd noticed her hovering around a few times before. He collapsed back to the bed, panting and exhausted as the dogs left out the window.

"Kakashi what was that about?" Asuma asked, looking comically confused with his cigarette dangling from his lip.

"She's dangerous, and the Akatsuki want her."

"If she's following Naruto... Itachi is following both of them!" Kurenai pointed out.

"Sasuke!" Gai jumped up and left the room so quickly that the breeze following him knocked a pile of reports to the floor.

"Sasuke?" Kakashi's weak voice was fading.

"He came in here as we were talking about Itachi and the Akatsuki." Asuma shrugged.

"Dammit!" Kakashi burst, trying to force himself off the bed again. "He's gone after Itachi!"

"Kakashi lay down! You are in no shape to help now." Kurenai demanded, as Kakashi still tried to struggle to his feet she sighed "I'm sorry about this.." before she struck a pressure point on his neck and knocked him unconscious.

\--x--

Pakkun lead Buru and Bisuke as his nose was the strongest, he found the desert scents layered over Naruto's. There were two distinct smells that fit the profile Kakashi had given him but he knew which one to follow when it mixed with the subtle spicy scent of the Uchiha and the pungent dead fish smell of someone unknown.

"This way!" He barked at the others and they tore off down a trail through the forest.

When Pakkun lifted his head from the ground again, he found a clearing in front of them. A small stream ran through it and not far from the waters banks was what they were looking for. A glittering metallic sphere stood harsh against the nature around it, cracks ran through it like a broken egg and the front was completely smashed out of it. The girl must have been too late with her defenses, but she was lucky they had arrived before the others came back.

Buru approached the egg like shield and gently nudged the girl laying inside until he had flipped her onto his back. Sometimes it paid to be such a large bulldog. Pakkun and Bisuke tossed a rope back and forth around Buru until they had the girl firmly secured and ready for transport.

Pakkun tried to contact Kakashi to let him know they were on their way back but he got no answer from his master. "We need to hurry before the summoning runs out!" He nodded to his two teammates and they headed back to the village at a fast pace.


	10. Worse than Scum.

_"Kairi, come here quick!" A honey sweet voice called to where I was playing on the floor. "Your baby brother wants to say hello."_

_I looked up to the bed my mother sat in, and with a beaming smile rushed to her side and placed both my hands on her swollen belly. It didn't take long for me to feel the shift under her skin as my baby brother moved around inside of her. The fluttering of his tiny movements made me giggle and I nuzzled my mothers tummy, whispering "Come out soon, little brother. I cannot wait to meet you." I took being a big sister very seriously now that I was older. I'd been much to little to help with my other siblings, but now I was four and I'd even be able to hold him._

_"He is excited to meet you too." Momma smiled, resting a hand on my head. "He moves around more when he hears you."_

_"Have you thought of a name yet Momma?"_

_"I was thinking Gaara, after your father." She was laughing, but when she saw I didn't understand she wrote it out for me. "One who loves only himself."_

_"But Daddy loves the village.." I protested before I noticed one of the Kanji she had drawn. "Why demon?"_

_When she didn't answer me I looked up to find a tear running down her cheek, something I'd never seen on her happy face before. Whenever I cried, she would hug me and that would make me not want to cry anymore, so that's what I did, I hugged her. It seemed to work, she laughed a little and kissed my forehead. "You'll understand when you're older, my sweet baby girl."_

_I gave her a smile, and kissed her belly._

_"You will need to protect and guide your little brother." She told me, petting my hair gently. "Temari and Kankuro too, but I think Gaara will need you the most. You will need to make sure he stays on the right path."_

_"But that's what you're here for momma."_

\--

"Lady Tsunade, it didn't work, she is still asleep!" A panicked girls voice drew me out of the rare peaceful dream I had been enjoying. 

"It worked." A man said, sounding almost annoyed. "Don't worry so much, Sakura."

"Your sensei has a lot of chakra and stamina, so it is reasonable he woke up so long ago." Another woman, older sounding. "Even if he did disappoint me by being taken down so easily.... By two punks like that too.." 

I heard the man groan "Can we just focus on the girl?" 

"Stop talking about me like I'm not here." I growled weakly, opening my eyes as I was now thoroughly annoyed by all of the talking. I went to lift my arm to block the light and found that I couldn't move it. I tugged against the restraints holding me to the hospital bed violently. "What the hell is this?"

"Just give it up already, you're too weak." The man said in a flat, bored tone. I turned to glare at whoever it was and found Kakashi Hatake sitting in a hospital bed opposite my own. He seemed to be wearing blue hospital bottoms and a white tee-shirt. He looked rough, exhausted even. He had a white hospital mask covering his nose and mouth in the place of his own, but his headband was nowhere in sight and his hair fell into his duel colored eyes making him look younger than when I'd seen him before.

"How dare you?" I growled at him, thrashing once again against the restraints that held me here. I tried to pull the metal clasps apart with magnetic release, but I couldn't get my chakra to sink into the metal, he was right and I was too weak.

"WOULD YOU CALM DOWN ALREADY?" The woman shouted at me, causing my head to snap quickly in her direction. She was beautiful, with long blond hair split into pigtails down her back and a tattoo-like diamond in the center of her forehead. Her eyes were narrowed at me in a fierce glare that made me think twice about pulling at the restraints again. "All we know about you is that you have been following Naruto around, until we find out why you are a prisoner." 

"You're lucky to be alive." The young girl spoke and when I looked at her I recognized her as one of Naruto's friends. The Kunoichi that was always drooling over Itachi's little brother Sasuke. "If Kakashi sensei hadn't risked draining his own chakra to rescue you, who knows what the Akatsuki would have done to you? And yet you have the nerve to act like such an ungrateful little brat!" 

I raised my eyebrows at her, wondering if I should be as aware of her as I was of the blonde. I then looked over to Kakashi who was avoiding my gaze as he read a book. Did he really save me? Why?

The blonde woman ruffled the pink hair of the younger shinobi and grinned with pride. "I like her fire." 

I rolled my eyes and groaned. "Just execute me already." That is where this was all leading to, I'd been discovered just as Danzo had warned me about. They would either send me back to Sunagakure, where now that Rasa was dead I probably would be executed, or they would do it here. I'd personally rather it be done here instead of back in front of the Anbu I'd grown up with, to see the looks of disgust and betrayal on their faces. 

"Nobody is going to hurt you, Kairi." 

My eyes automatically snapped back to Kakashi when he used my real name. I knew he had been looking into who I was, but I hadn't left him any trail to follow. Perhaps our little game had been more serious for him than I thought if he had actually discovered who I was. Nobody in the leaf knew that name outside of Hex and Danzo, had he managed to get it from one of them? 

"You know this girl, Kakashi?" The intimidating woman asked, sitting down on the edge of my bed - which to my dismay meant sitting on my leg. She ignored my protests as she stared at the silver haired shinobi waiting for an answer. 

Kakashi looked from me, to the woman, to Sakura as if deciding whether or not to say something in front of the genin. I wished he wouldn't say anything at all, but apparently what I wished meant nothing in this hospital room. I didn't want him to drudge memories back up for me that I'd forgotten about, if he knew my name then he probably knew what had happened and how I got here. 

"Kairi is Lord Fourth Kazekage's first born child, the heir to Sunagakure." Kakashi began softly as if he knew his words alone were a betrayal, and I wondered how he would know that. We tried to keep it pretty secretive that the Kazekage line ran in families instead of being chosen by a vote. 

Once upon a time that village had been my birthright, I'd been raised to take over as Kazekage since the day I was born. None of that mattered now though, not when I was a deserter, hunted by those I'd once called my friends and comrades. I'd been forgotten by my siblings, and I would probably never be able to return home. I felt that old familiar pain, the pins digging into my heart.

"Rasa's first daughter died." Tsunade stated as if it were fact. "This cannot be Kairi of the Iron sand. That girl died a hero's death defending her village from its tailed beast."

So that is the story my father had put out, instead of a disgrace for a daughter he had a hero. He'd told anyone that would listen that Gaara had killed me. My sweet, baby brother believed that he was the cause for my death. I couldn't help but wonder if my siblings had believed the lie, if Baki had.. Gaara had killed our mother and our uncle already, it wouldn't be too much of a stretch that he had killed me too.. But they had all seen me after that mission. I began to choke silently on the air I was trying to breath, my heart feeling more like it was filled to bursting with pins now. I stared up at the ceiling as my eyes welled up with tears and I started shut it all off the way Danzo had taught me to, like a switch in my mind I didn't feel anything now. 

"I've heard the stories." Kakashi gave a dismissive wave to the blonde "It simply does not change the fact that I have met Kairi before, when we were younger. When I was in the Anbu I was sent on a very important diplomatic mission to Sunagakure to meet with Lord Rasa, I also met Kairi there." 

My eyes widened, I had been so stupid. That silver hair should have given it away before, or the sharingan that was staring at me even now - that strange glowing red eye I'd seen under that dog-faced mask. "Denji?" I breathed, barely a sound as I remembered the boy who had been so cruel to me.

"Denji?" Tsunade repeated the name with confusion.

Kakashi nodded, his mismatched eyes staring back at mine with a soft hint of apology. "Denji was my codename for that mission."

"Is this why you saved her?" Tsunade's voice dropped as she looked from Kakashi to me. "Did you form some bond with her back then?"

"I didn't know if my ninken would save her or eliminate her honestly." His voice was emotionless, sounding like the cruel boy I had met. "I just knew that her kekkei genkai couldn't fall into enemy hands."

"Alright then Kairi... Why are you here?" The slightly terrifying woman turned her eyes to me.

Did she really think I would tell her? I had never met her before in my life. She thought I was dead until a few seconds ago? Even if I could talk about my missions I wasn't dumb enough to just go telling anyone and everyone who would listen. Danzo wasn't allowed to have me in his forces, I was being hunted as a rogue shinobi, and they already thought I was a spy. Nothing I could say would make any of that go away, so I decided I would say nothing at all.

"She won't tell you, or rather.. She can't tell you." Kakashi spoke for me, and when he looked up to find the confused look on Tsunade's face I thought I saw him smile a little. "Kairi has become a member of the foundation, under the control of Lord Danzo... Isn't that right Kairi?" 

Again, I decided it would be better to say nothing at all. 

"Surely you remember what it is that Danzo does to his subordinates to ensure their silence, don't you Lady Tsunade?" He seemed to be enjoying the fact that he had figured it out. 

"Well then, if I submit her to the intel core she will probably die before we get anything useful out of her." The woman sighed heavily, putting the pieces together herself as she removed herself from my bed and began to pace the room. "We need a way to find out what she wants with Naruto without triggering the curse mark." 

"How will you do that, Lady Tsunade?" Sakura spoke up, reminding me that she was in the room.

Tsunade shook her head in frustration, clearly at a loss for an idea. "I'll have to consult with Inoichi."

Kakashi groaned now, tired of watching this muttering woman pace. "Inoichi is going to suggest a less intrusive method." He seemed unwilling to elaborate.

"Well thanks captain obvious." The blonde woman rolled her eyes "That's exactly the type of suggestion I need right now."

"He's going to suggest me." When Kakashi looked up and saw the confusion on Tsunade's face he continued. "There was something similar to this a while ago, a kunoichi from the hidden lock was caught trying to gather information on the village. Inoichi found memories of me when he couldn't get past her mental blocking and referred me to use my sharingan to get to the bottom of it."

I gulped rather loudly at the prospect of being under another genjutsu. I was strong, and a good fighter but I just couldn't grasp yin release and I always ended up a damsel in distress against genjutsu. The feeling made me sick, and to be at the mercy of this cruel man would be a bitter wound to my pride.

"Did you get to the bottom of it?" Tsunade raised her eyebrow, prying at the rest of the story as she saw the look of a painful memory on Kakashi's face.

"Hanare threw herself off of a cliff.." Sakura finished the story for her sensei. That was a horrible mental image, Kakashi standing at the edge of a cliff staring down at the woman's broken body after he broke her mind. He'd probably put her in a genjutsu and made her walk off.

"Alright then.." The woman said, slight concern in her voice. "Well since you're both sharing this room anyway, I leave her to you Kakashi."

She ignored both of our protests as she took Sakura by the arm and left the room. Kakashi gave a defeated sigh as she closed the door on us and I concentrated on looking anywhere except at him. I was afraid to close my eyes in case he tried to do the same thing Itachi had. The memory of the kiss made me shudder, his lips had been soft and warm but the bite of his motives left a disgusting after taste, it wasn't fair that it had been my first kiss.

I'd been so lost in my own thoughts I hadn't even noticed Kakashi stand until he was beside my bed undoing the restraints. He popped them open one by one without looking at me, and when I was fully freed he returned to his bed and pulled out an orange book. I couldn't see the cover of it but it seemed to have his full attention. I moved into a sitting position on my own bed, staring at the door as I rubbed my wrists and ankles where the straps had bitten. I could go back down to the root, to seek Danzo's protection but part of me feared his reaction of my actions during the mission. Would he know I had abandoned my post? Had Hex and Riku gotten back yet?

"You can leave if you want to, but I don't think you have anywhere to go.." Kakashi spoke without looking away from his book. "There is a reason I had to save you and your teammates did not."

"They had a mission to complete." That was how we were trained, mission above all. Riku would kill me if I got in the way of a mission, I was sure about that. Hex I wasn't so sure about, the fact that she wasn't here stung but I wasn't sure what I would do in her place. If one of us abandoned a mission to save a teammate, nobody on the team would survive Danzo.

"Those who abandon a mission are scum." Kakashi agreed, turning the page in his book. "But those who would abandon a friend, they are worse than scum."

I thought about his words, my mind going back to Ryu's face as he was dying in front of me. I could have done something, I could have gotten him away from the fight and started medical treatment... What would have happened to Hex? These were hard choices to make, now I knew she would have been fine even if I had saved Ryu but I had no way of knowing that back then. I had replayed that night so many times in my mind, to the point it was distorted and I didn't remember what had truly happened. "I don't have any friends." I finally said, my eyes on the door again.

"Then what do you fight for?" His voice was genuinely curious. "Nobody should be so alone."

I thought about my bingo book, how each crossed out face seemed to fill the void inside of me for a little while. I thought of the purpose I felt when I was on a mission, a single goal to focus on. I didn't fight for anything, I just did whatever I had to do so that I could cross out another face or sign off another mission. In this sad world, that seemed like enough of a reason to fight. Kakashi put down his book when I didn't answer him and I felt him staring at my back. I hugged my body in a tight ball, my eyes still on the door as I waited for him to speak again.

"Doesn't sound like much of a life." He finally sighed, I heard him moving around in his bed. "Better get some rest."

I stayed in my position for a while longer, searching my mind for something, anything that I could say I fought for. I thought about my siblings, but I hadn't fought for them since I left. I certainly didn't fight for my father or the village anymore. There was nothing I felt passionate or protective over and that realization turned the hollow pit inside of me into a black hole that threatened to eat away at me and grow. I wondered how much longer it would be until I was as cold and heartless as the rest of the robots in the Root.


	11. War Stories.

"If you take a step towards me  
You will take my breath away  
So I'll keep you close  
And keep my secret safe"  
Song 3 - Stone Sour 

Kakashi awoke the next morning with stiff, sore muscles from being in bed for so long. Lady Tsunade had given him the go-ahead to return to his normal life, and that meant he could finally go visit his loved ones. It had been so long since he'd been to the memorials and that felt like just one more betrayal piled onto the rest. He began to yawn, and stretch out on the bed with a satisfied groan when he was suddenly made aware of someone else in the room by a frantic whimper. He shot up to a sitting position and stared over to the other bed, only now remembering that Kairi was here with him. 

"Ryu! No!" The girl cried out, thrashing against her blankets. 

Kakashi couldn't help but watch her in the nightmare, she was sweating, panting, flailing and whimpering as if she were in the middle of a fight. He'd seen nightmares like this before, the ones so real that you can't wake yourself. He'd had them ever since Obito... and he'd watched Sasuke struggle with them almost every mission where they had to camp. 

"Gaara don't!" Kairi shouted out as she shot upwards out of the bed, gasping for breath as she opened her eyes and tried to remember where she was. 

When the girl's indigo eyes landed on him, Kakashi turned quickly to the window, embarrassed he'd been caught watching her sleep. He heard her quietly remove the blankets from her, sure enough the whole bed would be damp with how bad her night sweats had been. He listened as her footsteps crossed the floor, and he heard the door latch click as she tried to leave. "Where are you going?" He asked as if it didn't really matter. 

"Last night you told me I could leave if I wanted to." She stood at the door, hand on the knob but not opening it. 

"I didn't tell you not to go, I asked where you are going." He said with a pointed tone as he stood and turned to Kairi. "I don't think you have anywhere to go." 

She didn't answer him, he hadn't expected her to. Instead she dropped her head against the wood of the door, let out a heavy sigh and then resquared her shoulders and turned towards him, shutting her eyes tightly. 

"Oh!" Kakashi raised his eyebrows, realizing she was afraid of his sharingan. "I'm not going to use it on you." He picked his headband up off the night table beside his bed, tied it around his forehead and pulled it down over his left eye just to put her at ease. He couldn't help but smile as he saw her quickly peek with one eye and then open them both. 

"I don't know what I am supposed to do." She softly admitted, confirming his suspicions that she was afraid to go back to Danzo. 

"Why don't you clean up, and then we will go out." He tilted his head, gesturing to their shared bathroom. He figured she would need a shower or bath after a nightmare like that. 

While Kairi got ready in the bathroom, Kakashi dressed and got out his favorite book of the moment 'Icha Icha Paradise' it was true that it was a bit of a controversial book but he'd been pulled into the romance between the two main characters. He almost felt like he could feel the emotions Jiraiya described in his writings, even though they were foreign in his life. He was addicted to the books because they painted a picture of something he felt like he would never have, it was the closest he'd ever get to such an intimate relationship. 

He snapped the book shut and tucked it back in his pouch as he heard the bathroom door open, surprised at his own embarrassment as he usually didn't mind who saw him reading the book. Turning around he saw Kairi, actually saw her for what felt like the first time. Her hair was still damp, but she'd pulled it into a high ponytail the way Asuma's genin Ino liked to wear hers, except Kairi had two strands falling on either side of her face. Something about the reds and violets in her hair brought out the indigo shade of her eyes, shifting them from more bluish to purple. She was dressed like she was still living in the desert, black pants that had one full leg, and one that cut off at her upper thigh and a tan top that exposed her stomach. He also noted that she had found the Sunagakure headband Tsunade had taken off of her and tied it around her thigh where the right side of her pants stopped. 

"I can't find my mask." She told him, narrowing her eyes to remind him he was staring at her. 

Kakashi scratched the back of his head, trying to think of where Lady Tsunade would have put it and then shrugged slightly, shoving his hands in his pockets. "She must have taken it with her." 

Kairi nodded somewhat sadly and went to sit back down on her own hospital bed. "I don't feel like going out." 

"I was hoping to get something to eat and maybe get in some training." He said, trying to make the idea sound tempting. 

"You can tie me back up, I'll be here when you return." 

He sighed softly, taking a few steps around her bed and then sitting down beside her. "Alright, what is it?" 

Kairi shuffled away from him as he sat down and then pulled her legs to her chest the way a scared child might. "I don't like going into the village without my mask." She confessed, not looking at him. 

"I'm sorry, I understand that." He really did, he'd worn his mask for so long now that he forgot why he had started, and he knew for himself that he was afraid of anyone seeing him without it. "I don't have access to Anbu masks anymore, but I think I can make it a little easier if you let me." 

The girl sighed heavily, eyeing the leather restraints that had held her the night before as if she was weighing her options. Her stomach growled loudly and she blushed, nodding her head "Alright, you can try." 

Kakashi moved off the bed slowly and knelt down in front of Kairi. He reached towards her thigh which she raised her eyebrow too but he simply untied the red headband and laid it on the bed beside her. She relaxed a little until he went for her left arm, where he had thought he'd seen an Anbu tattoo. His eye widened as he realised it wasn't a tattoo at all but a vicious looking scar, two of them that swirled together to make an hourglass on her upper arm with a newer scar running through it like the slash on her headband. "A brand?" 

Kairi did pull away now, covering as much as she could of the scar with her hand and refusing to look at him. 

"They branded you?" His eyebrows were raised but he was trying to keep the shock out of his voice. 

"All of the villages Anbu have them, it is for loyalty." 

"It must have hurt." 

"I was six, I don't remember." 

Six.. that was how old she was when he'd first met her but he hadn't seen such a mark on her then and she was nowhere near the skill level required to be in the assassination and tactical squad of her village. She must have ended up joining them shortly after he'd met her, and from the look in her eyes he could tell she remembered exactly how that burn had felt. 

"May I?" He asked, reaching for her arm again. When she didn't pull it away he pulled out the roll of thick white cloth from his pouch and began to wrap it around her arm, covering up the scar. "Your identity has been kept quiet, without anything to signify where you're from nobody will ask questions." 

Kairi bit her lip but nodded slowly as her stomach growled again, she wanted out of this room just as badly as he did. 

"If anyone does ask" Kakashi continued "You're Lady Tsunade's niece, and I am showing you around the village."

"Who is she?" Kairi asked, clearly confused as to why he kept using the title in front of her name. 

Kakashi grinned, remembering their exchange the night before. "She is Princess Tsunade of the Senju clan that founded Konohagakure, also one of the three legendary sannin, and the Lady Fifth Hokage." 

"Oh.." She huffed, obviously thinking back on the way she had spoken to Tsunade. "Well, where are we going?" 

"Well, now that nobody can tell you are a spy.." Kakashi joked as he stood up. 

"I'm not a spy." Kairi glared at him, the same glare she had given him when she was a child. 

"We'll see." He shrugged, turning to lead her out the door. The hospital wasn't that far from the cemetery, he lead her there in silence as she was unwilling to speak whenever he'd tried a conversation. When they arrived she followed him up to the memorial stone, and he noticed her eyeing the third Hokage's stone.

He couldn't help but wonder if she had been a part of the attack, did she feel guilty? By now they knew it wasn't truly the fourth Kazekage leading the attack, but had she been under Orochimaru's orders? Kakashi tried to push the thought out of his mind when he gazed at the names of his friends and parents. He usually liked to speak to them, but he didn't dare with her there. He was thankful she stayed quiet though, let him have his time with them. He tried to think of what Obito would do in the same situation, or what Minato Sensei would have told him. It wasn't like he hadn't handled spies before, but nothing about her put him on guard.

He looked over at the girl to see her eyes flickering over the names on the stone, full of sadness when ever they landed on a name. "They are leaf shinobi who died in battle." He explained.

"I know." She said softly, nodding. "We don't have a memorial in Sunagakure, so people just started writing the names on the stone walls that hide the village."

"Have you had to write any of those names?" He asked, wondering where she got the sadness in her eyes.

"Truthfully I have only written one."

"Your mother's?" Kakashi asked, he had never heard the story of what happened to the sand siblings mother.

"My mother died giving birth to Gaara." She explained. "Her name is not written on the wall, Rasa wouldn't allow it."

Kakashi couldn't help but think of his sensei's wife and his student's mother, Kushina. She hadn't exactly died in childbirth but she was killed shortly after Naruto was born. There were turning out to be quite a few comparisons between Gaara and Naruto. "I am sorry, I lost my mother when I was very young as well." When Kairi didn't speak, Kakashi pointed to his mother's name on the memorial.

"She died in a battle?" Kairi asked, her eyes glued to the carving.

"She was taken captive on a mission, her teammates went ahead and finished the mission without trying to save her." He explained, it amazed him how he could tell the story without choking up now. It wasn't a story he told often, but he thought it might encourage her to talk.

"That's why you said what you said last night?" She was referring to the line about shinobi being scum.

He smiled a little under his half mask, and then shook his head. "That wasn't a lesson easily learned." He pointed out his father's name next. "My father was a beloved village hero, but he remembered what happened to my mother. He never stopped loving this village after that happened, but when the choice to complete a mission or save a comrade came up for him he chose to save his teammates." He still didn't understand the choice, his father had to have known the consequences. It felt like he'd chosen to not only abandon his mission, but to abandon his child as well.

Kakashi kept his eye on the memorial because this time he wasn't sure if he could tell the story without feeling the pain. "The village turned its back on him for abandoning his mission. He was hated, spat at in the streets.. Eventually I guess the shame became to much for him.. He didn't die in battle, but he is on this stone because he was a true hero."

"I'm sorry." Kairi whispered and he heard her voice catch a little.

He didn't want to continue his story, not to a practical stranger. "So whose name did you write?" He tried to lighten the mood with a bit of a smile as he scratched at the back of his head.

She turned away from the stone, away from him and looked across the cemetery. She still wasn't going to open up to him, even with what he'd told her. He looked down at the stone one more time before turning away as well. "Ready for some training?"

"Ready for some training?"


	12. Proving Grounds.

"Let me take a step towards you  
let me feel you in my hands  
let me cross this line  
and show you where it leads."  
Song 3 - Stone Sour

I was still thinking about the story Kakashi told me about his family when he lead me into the training area. It made my heart heavy, another sad story in this world, another lonely child. I'd thought about telling him more, but I figured he was just trying to dig around and get information about me. I tied my hair up as he did some warm up stretches, and then did my own.

"Did you make it to Chunin?" Kakashi asked absently as he wrapped his hands and began to practice unarmed strikes on one of the training logs.

"I didn't make it to Genin." I gave a little, cold laugh as I retrained my muscles by jumping across the tops of the logs that he was hitting.

He nodded as he began to practice kicks as well, his body moved with lighting speed as his muscles seemed to come back to life. I did a cartwheel, transferring chakra from one arm to the next and then to my feet as I kept myself steady on the stumps that shifted with each of his blows. I then flipped myself onto the ground and began to match his movements as I kicked and hit the training post.

"I'm supposed to be the copy ninja." He spoke with a bored tone, speeding his movements.

It took a lot but I kept pace with him, chipping away splinters from the post with each hit. He sped up again and this time I couldn't keep up, but wanting to one up him I drew iron up into the wood and then forced it outwards, causing the post to explode with splinters.

Kakashi turned to me and raised an eyebrow, then shook his head. "A kunoichi needs to know better than to get frustrated and lose their cool."

"I wasn't frustrated." I glared at him.

"Fine, let's spar." He suggested, a cocky tone in his voice. "Don't use your kekkei genkai."

I laughed a little, a real laugh for the first time in a while. He was greatly underestimating me if he thought I couldn't fight without it. "I'm not as dumb and useless as I was when I was six."

"I'm sorry about the things I said." He half smiled under that mask, shaking his head.

"It is fine." I shrugged, holding my hand up to my face the way they taught kids to start their matches and waiting for him to do the same.

He matched my movements, we nodded at each other, and it began. I ran towards him, throwing a few hits that he quickly blocked, but I gained ground as he lost it. "Keep that Sharingan out of this." I laughed as we hit each other's wrists, attacking and blocking in a repetitive dance.

"I don't need it." He sounded like that dog masked boy again, but there was more teasing then cruelty in his voice now. "I could even read right now, if I wasn't so interested in your skill level."

I swung a hand low, and as planned he blocked it with both of his. I used that as momentum to swing another at the side of his neck, but he was quicker than me and grabbed both of my hands, pulling my body towards his. I used the strength of his grip to swing my knees up, extend my legs and land a kick to his abdomen. He let me go and I jumped backwards, landing on the ground as images flashed before my eyes. It was Kakashi, fighting a young boy with black hair and goggles. The image only lasted for a second but it took my head out of the current fight long enough to get Kakashi to notice.

"Are you alright?" He asked, and I nodded. I got back onto my feet and ran at him again, this time he caught my arm and in an instant had pulled my body across his, using my arm and a hand placed on the back of my neck to flip me forwards and throw me onto my back on the ground not far from him. I stood before he could land his fist on me, and jumped back away from him. I didn't recover quick enough, he ended up behind me, swinging a hand back and catching me against my shoulder. It didn't stagger me, but when I swung around to guard against his next attack I found him looking lost in thought.

"What is happening?" I asked him, taking the moment to stretch my arm across my body to try and relieve the throbbing where he'd hit me.

"Hit me." He demanded, sounding more of a sensei than anything else at the moment. He stood up straight, putting his hand to his chest where he wanted me to hit before dropping it to his side.

"Why?"

"Just hit me."

I did as he asked, launching myself towards him and hitting him open palmed in the chest. Another image flashed across my vision, this one of a man who looked like an older version of the man in front of me, curled up and lifeless on the ground. Kakashi noticed that I was unfocused again and called that we stop the spar as he pulled his headband up to reveal the sharingan.

I flinched a little, and instinctively shut my eyes tightly "What are you doing?"

"I'm not going to put you in a genjutsu, please open your eyes."

I shook my head, biting down on my lip. I just wanted to go back to the hospital now, I didn't want him to use that eye on me.

"Kairi... Who is Ryu?" He asked, his voice soft and unthreatening.

"How do you know that name?" I'd opened my eyes to look at him as soon as he said the name.

"Do you know what happens when Shinobi of matching skill fight, and they exchange chakra in their blows?"

I shook my head, I'd never really heard of something like that before.

"Sometimes, they can sort of talk to each other.. Read each other's thoughts through their blows.. You saw something of my past when you hit me, didn't you?"

I nodded slightly, unsure. The idea made sense if you thought about chakra, when we exchanged blows we also -in a way- touched each other with chakra. Since chakra is the life blood of a person, I could see it holding onto memories. "I saw you fighting a boy with goggles, and a man laying on the floor.." 

"The boy with the goggles, his name was Obito, the man was my father." Kakashi said, with a slight nod of his head. "Please look into my eyes and tell me who Ryu was."

I bit my lip, nervous, but I did as he asked. I looked at his sharingan, and with a sigh I began to talk. "Ryu was in the Anbu with me, he was my friend--"

"Why did I see him die like that?" He cut me off.

I was amazed at how much I actually felt in that moment, things I hadn't felt in so long. I wanted to cry, all of the fears I'd ever had about his death being my fault came to the surface as I tried to explain. "I was his captain, I-I was trying to disarm them.. He moved.. He was hit.. I didn't help him, I let him die." I half sobbed out the truth, there was no point in lying to him if he'd seen it happen. I wasn't crying the way a normal, whole person would, this was more like a fish choking on air.

"That's not what I saw." He said darkly, as if tainted by his own experiences. "the way those blades were dug into him there wasn't much you could do.. What I was asking is why did he die and you didn't? Who attacked you?"

This time I couldn't answer him, the curse mark made sure of that. I didn't owe much loyalty to Lord Danzo but I wasn't sure that I was ready to lose the only safe place I had left. "I'm tired." I said, looking away from his face.

He covered his sharingan again and was about to speak when a voice silenced him, someone calling his name from across the training field. "Yo!" Kakashi said as he looked up at the man who came towards us.

I raised my eyebrow at the sight of green leotards, but it only got worse as he got closer. He had a very blunt bowl cut of his black hair and the biggest set of eyebrows I'd ever seen. I almost laughed out loud if not for the heavy conversation we had just been having.

"Kakashi, I have been looking for you. Lady Tsunade would like to see us." The man panted after running over to us. "She can be really crabby sometimes... Who is this youthful kunoichi?"

"This is Saori, I am showing her around the village." Kakashi said smoothly, without the hint of a lie.

"Well, Lady Hokage said to bring your traveling partner.. but you were both supposed to be in the hospital.."

"We were restless, decided to get in a bit of a workout." Kakashi shrugged.

"Well, how about a race then?" Mr. Eyebrows said, raising one of the caterpillars on his face.

"Saori?" Kakashi asked, glancing over his shoulder at me. I wish I'd known what I was getting myself into as I nodded. "Oh, and this is Mighto Gai, Jonin of the leaf."

"If I lose this race, I shall do two hundred laps around the village." Gai declared.

I raised my eyebrows, wondering why he would only set that wager on himself. I stayed quiet though, hoping the goal of winning this race would quiet everything that had been stirred up today. We all took our places next to each other, using the training posts as a starting point. On Kakashi's word we all took off running, it didn't take long for me to see that I had no chance of winning this. In fact the two of them were already sitting on the steps looking bored by the time I got to the hokage's office. I glared at them as I regained my breath, honestly trying not to pass out. I was quick, but they were lighting fast.

"Who won?" I huffed out, once I had gotten my breathing somewhat under control but by the triumph on what little of Kakashi's face I could see that he had been the victor.

We headed inside and up the stairs as the guys argued over who had tripped who and other such things. Lady Tsunade was waiting in the hallway for us with her hands on her hips, toe tapping as if she were a mother waiting for her teenager to stumble in the door. She took in my appearance, and then aimed a questioning glare at Kakashi before ushering us into her office. I was thankful when Kakashi spoke up before Tsunade could.

"Saori is getting a good handle of the village, learning the history as I show her around." He was explaining the cover story he'd given Gai. "Shouldn't be too long before she is out on her own." I wondered if that last part was supposed to mean he didn't suspect me.

"That's good to hear, and I wouldn't interrupt if we weren't so short handed. An S rank mission has come up and I need my best Jonin handling it." The Lady Hokage explained, hanging her head in her hands in frustration. "So that would be the two of you, you may pick any third you wish." She then turned her gaze on me and I saw her eyes darken a bit. "I will keep Saori tied up during your time away." It was meant to sound as if she would keep me busy, but I figured she meant she was literally going to tie me back up.

"I pick Saori as our third." Kakashi said flatly causing all three of us to stare at him.

"I would like to remain with Lee while he recovers and makes his decision. The boy is like a son to me, I can not make him go through this alone." Gai said cautiously, trying to judge the Lady Hokage's temperament. Gaara had seriously injured his student and I figured that perhaps he might need some sort of surgery. I felt guilt for what had happened, felt responsibility for the little brother I'd lost so long ago.

"I don't know if I am comfortable with this." Lady Tsunade cut in.

"I'll keep an eye on her, and we are tight on people right now as you said." Kakashi shrugged. "The two of us will be fine."

"Kakashi can I speak to you in the hall for a moment?" Tsunade asked stiffly, and they both stood and left.

I looked over at Mr. Eyebrows, and he looked at me mirroring my look of confusion. I couldn't figure out Kakashi's angle on taking me along, but I thought of what he said about me being alone and wondered if he had really meant that. I wasn't really alone though, I had Hex. I wondered if she and Riku had returned to the village yet, and I wondered if she missed me as much as I missed her.

"Don't worry, he will protect you." Gai said mistaking the look on my face as fear as he gave me a thumbs up.

I forced a smile, turning so I could look out the window from where I was sat. I tried to listen for the conversation out in the hall but their words didn't carry through the doors until they opened them to return.

"Well then, it is decided." Tsunade said as she sat back down at her desk. "Kakashi, you will gather up Asuma and Kurenai and set out to meet the Daimyo and his party, then escort them to the summer home.. Kairi you will go with them, Gai you will stay on home guard."

Gai thanked her about a hundred times.

I rolled my eyes, their Feudal Lord must be as useless as the one in the land of wind if he needed to request an escort from an already stressed village just so he could change houses with the weather. The risk didn't miss me though, if the other villages had found out about the attack on Konoha the roads might be dangerous when they guessed we would be short handed. I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see Kakashi holding out a leg pouch, a waist belt with a pouch and a pair of sai and a Konohagakure headband. I eyed the headband, wishing for my own but I bowed my head in thanks and took the items.

"I will need you to leave immediately, as it is you're going to have to meet the party after they depart." Tsunade continued explaining.

I explored the items as I stood up and began to put them on. I strapped the leg pouch to my right thigh where this half of the pants ended, since my right hand was more dominant. I then peeked inside it, pleased to find a banded stack of paper bombs and a nice supply of shuriken. I then did the hip belt, fitting it through the loops on my pants and securing it tightly. The sai hung from my back in an odd way, but I figured I'd get used to it as long as they weren't bouncing of my legs, and in that pouch I found kunai and food pills.

"Will that set up work for you?" Kakashi asked, handing me some fabric wrap.

I checked the balance in the sai just to be sure, and once I found it pleasing I nodded to him and took the wrapping. The thick fabric of my pants covered my entire left leg, but the right stopped at my thigh so I wrapped from my knee down to my foot for some extra protection, and then quickly wrapped my arms and stomach. I wished for the armored padding of my Root gear that I was used to but I'd have to make due. I tied the Konohagakure headband loosely around my neck and the three of us set out.


	13. Letting Go.

It didn't take us long to catch up to the slow moving convoy after we had found Asuma and Kurenai who were going with us on the mission. It turned out that the fire Daimyo was moving from his cool weather home in the hidden leaf, up into the mountains where he and his family enjoyed their summers. I was just happy to have a mission to focus on, so happy in fact that I couldn't keep the grin off of my face. It wasn't like anyone could see the bright smile though, Kakashi had handed me my mask as soon as we left the village gates. I'd done escort missions before, not of the feudal lord though, ours in the land of wind barely ever left Sunagakure.

It didn't take the advisor long to explain that we couldn't talk to anyone but the servants unless it was an emergency, and that when we made camp for the night we weren't supposed to be at the same site as the Daimyo and his family. It would be our responsibility to figure out how to guard them while following that rule. My father had instilled a deep dislike in me for these rulers and their lifestyles. He'd told me how they lived like emperors while the villages starved, fought and died at their feet. In the Wind, the lord kept our village in a tight fist, making too many cutbacks and wrong sided agreements.

Asuma and Kurenai had taken up the lead, guarding from the front and Kakashi had taken me to the back of the party so we could watch for attacks from the side as well.

"Why did you bring me?" I finally asked Kakashi, bored of the sound of bull hooves pounding on the dirt road.

"Would you rather have been tied up in Lady Tsunade's office with Inoichi digging around in all those memories you're trying to run from?" He chuckled a bit.

That was a darker option than he thought, but I nodded slightly. "Thank you."

"You're going to have to tell me what's going on eventually, Kairi." He sighed, rubbing the back of his head as we walked.

I nodded again, knowing he was right. I kept thinking about how he'd opened up about his parents, feeling like I owed it to him to return the favor. I didn't know how to get past the curse mark though, other than fighting him again and letting him hit me enough to get the answers he wanted. In the darkest parts inside of me it didn't seem like such a bad option, at least I would feel something. I was glad he couldn't see my face right now, I felt like he would recognize the look.

"Were you with your siblings at the chunin exams?" He asked when the quiet went on for too long again.

I shook my head, and then took an interest in watching where my feet were stepping as I spoke "No, they probably think I am dead."

He looked at me with a hint of sadness, and then a smile touched his visible eye. "You should meet Naruto."

"Why do you say that?"

"He has this way of making people believe in something again." He shrugged.

"Sounds like you're a good sensei." I gave him a little bit of a laugh.

"I don't think so, things are going wrong with Sasuke.." It was his turn to think of dark things.

"He wants revenge?" I asked softly.

Kakashi nodded, and then asked something I was hoping to avoid. "Why do you think Itachi warned me about where you were?"

I was confused about that too, he had been kind to me when I was a child, and he had saved my life only a few years ago. I felt like he was trying to keep Kisame from killing me in the forest, and then there was that kiss.. But he was evil wasn't he? He had eliminated his entire clan in one night, except for his little brother and then run off the join the Akatsuki. How could a man like that not be evil? "I honestly don't know." I didn't even know he had warned him, I thought I'd be dead when I got to their leader.

"He didn't seem to want to kill me either." He admitted before calling out to Asuma that we were all clear.

We either walked in silence, spoke about past missions or talked about Kakashi's genin for the rest of the day. I learned a lot about Naruto, the brave idiot as Kakashi described. I wondered why he would tell me -who was accused of spying on the boy- so much about him but the conversation was pleasant. It seemed that Sakura was pretty whiney and hot headed, and Kakashi described a one sided obsession between her and Sasuke. He wasn't really much into talking about Sasuke, past the fact that he was seeking vengeance and had been cursed by Orochimaru. We were speaking about Haku and Zabuza when the caravan stopped for the night to make camp.

"I have met the pair before, on a mission in the rain of all places." I couldn't keep the sadness out of my voice. Haku had been such a bright, innocent personality in all of the darkness of this world. Hearing of his passing was a blow straight to my gut, but knowing he died with the man he loved beside him made it easier.

"Are you upset at the news?" Kakashi asked as he and Asuma began to unfold a thick fabric tarp to keep us dry in the forecasted rain tonight.

"A little sad." I admitted but didn't want to elaborate.

"We had no choice." He defended himself.

"I do not doubt that, Zabuza was an impressive man." I shrugged, stoking the fire Kurenai had made so that we could have some tea.

"Would you like anything in yours?" The beautiful Kunoichi asked me. 

"Just some lavender please." I smiled as she passed me the little tin cup and I moved my mask to the top of my head as I took a sip.

"We are pretty close to the hot springs." Asuma pointed out as he sat down next to Kurenai, lighting a smoke off the embers.

"We're in the middle of an S rank mission." Kurenai scolded him as she handed him a cup of tea, I noticed she didn't have to ask him or Kakashi how they liked their drinks.

"The Daimyo loves hot springs, he was always inviting dad up to them." Asuma shrugged, sipping at the tea.

"He actually took his family and snuck up that way about five minutes ago." Kakashi added in that uninterested way of his, downing his tea with one tip of his hand and then placing the empty cup neatly on a wooden stump.

"Well I suppose we could watch them better from there.." Kurenai was caving.

The thought of being in the hot springs with them made me nervous, these were the kind that hadn't been built on yet. There was no pool for boys and pool for girls, we would all be in one spring. I rubbed the wrapping Kakashi had put on my arm earlier, wondering about the Suna Anbu marking. He saw me fidgeting with it and gave me a quietly encouraging smile.

"Well then, let's go." Asuma said, giving Kurenai a smile that made me wonder about them.

"I'll just stay here, I didn't bring a towel." I protested, taking a big sip of my tea. The little voice inside had already started its cruel torments.

"A towel? Saori you can't wear a towel in a natural spring, what if we need to get out quickly and fight?" Kurenai giggled a little. "It might fall off in the middle of the battle!"

"Well what do you wear?" I asked, feeling a little stupid.

"Swimsuits." Asuma's booming laughter confirmed I was indeed stupid.

"I don't have a swimsuit."

"I brought two, stop making excuses!" Kurenai laughed, standing up and reaching for my hand. I took hers and she picked up her backpack before leading me off into the woods where she unfolded her bedding and draped it around trees to make a private space for us to change.

She pulled out two almost matching black bikinis, one was stringy and the other was more solid, I secretly hoped she would give me the second.

"I don't think you're fully grown up yet, this one may fit you better."

I blushed as she held out the one I'd wanted, knowing she had been referring to my lack of chest and hips. "Thank you."

We then turned away from each other to change. It didn't take long considering all of the fabric I had wrapped around my body, and we both finished around the same time. When I turned to her, Kurenai reached for my arm and undid the wrapping Kakashi had tied there. I instinctively jerked away as she looked at the branding on my skin.

"It's okay Kairi, we know." She shrugged with a laugh. "You can be yourself out here, okay?"

I wondered how she knew, but nodded and gathered my clothes to carry back to our campsite. The closer I got to the others, the more that voice screamed at me. I couldn't shake the harsh words that came, especially as when I took notice of the way Kurenai's body curved so that her swimsuit didn't get baggy in weird places as mine did. Frustrated I tried to cover myself as much as I could with the clothes I was carrying.

"Are you going to wear your mask in the spring?" Kakashi laughed when he saw me, gesturing to where it sat on my head.

"Are you?" I teased back, noting that he still had the half mask covering his mouth, nose, and neck though his headband was gone and his hair hung in his eyes a bit. It was hard not to notice he was shirtless, as lean as he was his body was sculpted to almost perfection and he wore his shorts low on his hips. I felt myself blushing, and even stranger I found myself wishing I filled out the bikini the way Kurenai did so he would look at me the way Asuma was looking at her.

When we reached the springs everyone but me got in right away. I chose to linger at the edge, covering myself with my arms and swirling my toes in the almost too hot water. The water we had gotten in Sunagakure always came from deep underground and was always bitter cold. Even in my time in the Root I hadn't visited the public springs, opting instead for the unheated showers we had in our headquarters. The heat here burned my skin, as soothing as I knew it would feel after I got used to it.

Asuma and Kurenai had waded over to the far side of the pool, they sat close together and were giggling and splashing each other lightly. Kakashi watched them with a sort of awe and I could tell that like myself, he was used to being an outsider.

"Aren't you going to get in?" Asuma asked, drying his hands so he could get a smoke.

I heard the water shift, but didn't see the movements. Before I could even react I was lifted off the ground, cradled like a bride in Kakashi's arms. "Oh she's getting in." He laughed at Asuma. "Hold your breath, Kairi." He said before he leapt into the deepest part of the spring, taking me with him.

He let go of me as we hit the water, and when I came to the surface panic set in. I swam to where he stood in the shoulder deep water, jealous of his height as my head would be submerged if I tried to stand. As soon as I felt my skin touch his I clung to him like a drowning cat, clawing my way up his body as far as I could out of the scalding water. Kakashi and Asuma both laughed at me, as Kakashi grabbed my hips and forced most of my body back down into the water. I locked my arms tight around his neck so he couldn't put my head under, and then wrapped my legs around his abdomen for good measure.

"Kakashi you terrified the girl!" Kurenai growled at him.

"She's fine." He protested. "She just needs to get used to the water... Kairi breath, just breath and feel the heat."

I probably would have punched him if I wasn't so afraid to let go. "Screw you." I snarled trying again to pull my body out of the burning water.

Kakashi merely shook his head with laughter and began to rub my back, which began to calm my breathing. After a moment of that, the water stopped feeling like it was trying to melt my skin and began to feel soothing the way it was supposed to. The heat worked its way into my body and took the strain off my muscles until I was just lazily dangling from Kakashi's neck, letting my legs sway with the bubbles of the spring. "Better?" He asked, and when I nodded he reached up to undo my arms from around his neck. "Let's go see the other two."

I started to panic again as he moved away from me, flailing around in the water and trying to stay afloat. It was Kurenai who grabbed me now, taking my arms and pulling me towards the shallow end of the pool. "Kakashi you idiot, she is from the desert."

Yeah, you idiot. I glared at him from where I now perched against the wall beside Kurenai, our bodies submerged up to our necks.

"Oops." He smiled nervously, scratching the back of his head as he went to stand beside Asuma.

"Seems like they will be in there for a while." Asuma said, butting out yet another smoke on the rocks as he nodded up to the higher pools where the Daimyo and his family were relaxing.

"Gives us more time to relax." Kurenai smiled as Asuma sat back down and pulled her onto his lap, he then rested his chin on her shoulder as he nodded.

I caught that look in Kakashi's eyes again, almost a longing. Like when you're a child stuck in detention watching the other kids play outside. I didn't want to see that look anymore, he looked better when he smiled so I splashed some water at his face. When he looked towards me, I raised an eyebrow with a cocky grin. He went to splash me back, but I ducked behind Kurenai and the water hit her and Asuma, with in seconds it was all out splash wars.


	14. Unburdened.

"I've been waiting for so long  
for you to complicate me  
and I can't bear to watch these scars  
turn into something breathing now."  
Nothing Worth Saving - Dangerkids

The air felt near freezing when we got out of the hot springs, Kurenai and I shivered the whole way back. Asuma tried to stay close to her, but he couldn't hold her the way he wanted to in case someone was watching. I'd learned they had been hiding their relationship because they wouldn't be permitted to go on missions together. I could understand the rules, there would be so much emotion involved if one of them were to get hurt. They were cute to watch though, Kakashi told me they had been like this since they were genin.

Kurenai and I changed as quickly as possible when we got back, but she stopped me as I was putting my clothes back on. "Wait Kairi, you don't want to sleep in your mission clothes... Here I brought an extra pair of shorts." She tossed a pair of tiny black shorts at me and then yelled out from our makeshift change room "Asuma? Do you have an extra shirt?"

Without a response something soft hit me in the side of the head. I held out the black sweater, so happy at how warm it was that I tugged it on over my head without looking at it. As I pulled it over my nose I was hit with the most intoxicating, deep, earthy smell. It was like sandalwood and lemongrass with just a hint of something musky. "Wow... I hope you don't mind me saying Kurenai but Asuma smells amazing." I complimented once I'd freed my head and pulled my hair out from the collar.

She looked up from where she was wrestling on a comfy looking lose pair of pants. She broke out in a giggle as she examined the sweater. "Kairi, Asuma smells like cigarettes and rain... That isn't his sweater."

I looked down at the sweater and blushed. "Oh it's Kakashi's.." It was baggy on him and I was swimming in it but it was comfortable and warm.

"I brought you a blanket by the way." She smiled, taking one of the grey standard issue mission blankets down from where they were forming walls around us. "Just in case your legs get cold."

"Thank you." I grinned, taking it and quickly wrapping up in it as she did the same. We both cocoon walked back over to the fire, snuggled up like sausages in these blankets. It sort of reminded me of Hex and I, that thought made me miss her.

"How is the sweater?" Kakashi asked, flipping some fish in a frying pan as Asuma dusted them with a mixture of herbs.

"Warm, thank you."

He nodded, I noticed he was wearing a dark pair of pants and a white tee-shirt and decided he had taken the sweater off to throw it at me. "Dinner is almost ready."

"Then we will make tea and clean the dishes." Kurenai volunteered as she sat down with Asuma and I nodded in agreement.

The fish was amazing, I'd never been one for fish but even this stuff charred over a campfire made my mouth water as I thanked the guys for the food. We finished eating, Kurenai and I cleaned up and then we all spread out around the campfire in our sleeping positions. Asuma and Kurenai were sleeping close together but nothing that could be seen as intimate. Kakashi was buried in one of his book and I was staring up at the moon.

The big white sphere pulled me towards it like it would pull a tide. I didn't fully understand my obsession with it, but it seemed empty and mirrored the hole I felt inside of me. I liked to imagine a beautiful maiden up there, sealed away, betrayed by everyone who she loved. I wondered if she still wailed for them the way I sometimes did for my siblings when I was sure I was alone. Konoha felt like the moon to me, strange, foreign and cold. I'd been banished there by those I loved, and that still stung.

"Kairi? Are you crying?!" Kakashi asked as he dropped his book and bounced up into a sitting position.

I turned my face away from him, wiping away the trace of a tear. "No." I hissed as if it was the most preposterous suggestion I'd ever heard.

"So.." I heard the smile in his voice. "Danzo hasn't truly killed the humanity inside of you?"

I laughed a little, he was right I wasn't a robot yet. "I still feel things."

"Sometimes it helps to talk about it."

I sat up now, swinging my body around to sit cross legged and facing him so I could stare directly into his eyes. I saw him move the headband away from the sharingan as if on cue but I didn't flinch now. "Did it help you when you talked about it?" I asked once I could see both of his eyes.

I saw his brows drop a little, it was enough to tell me that he hadn't tried to talk about it either. "I should have." He admitted. "Why won't you tell me what you're doing in Konoha?"

I sighed softly, he'd been so kind to me and hadn't really tried to pry the information out of me. In all honesty I really did want to talk to someone, I'd been holding so much in for so long it was truly exhausting. I stuck my tongue out at Kakashi, far enough that he would be able to see the curse mark that had been placed there, the one that made sure I couldn't speak about my mission.

He nodded knowingly "I had my suspicions that you were in the root." He stood up, covering his sharingan and moved to sit beside me. "So we can't discuss your mission, tell me how you came to Konoha."

I bit my lip softly, thankful now that I didn't need to be face to face with the Jonin. "The day you met me was the last day I spent with my family. I'd gone to my baby brother after you left."

"To Gaara?"

I nodded, taking a deep breath before continuing. I told him about the way my kekkei genkai had emerged, and about my father's reaction. I explained growing up with Hex and Ryu in the Anbu. I got him caught up to the point of our last mission together, the one that was burnt into my mind.

"Danzo found us camped out in the night, he had one of the Nara clan with him.. It all happened so fast. Hex was caught first, I'd tried to dampen the fire to help with her kekkei genkai but it only helped them get the shadow possession up to her.. And then Ryu.." I took a deep breath, trying not to choke on the lump in my throat. "He fell in front of me.. I should have gotten him out of there.. I probably could have saved him."

"You can't think like that." He cut me off, grabbing my face and turning it so I would look at him. Thinking of Itachi I instinctively jerked away from his touch, curling my knees into my chest. "I'm sorry.. It's just that... Whatever you did was what you felt you had to do. There is no use in telling yourself different, all it does it call ghosts and cause pain."

I thought of the way I froze, if Kakashi had been there that night he would have called me dumb and useless again. He would have saved Ryu, he would have been stronger than I was. I tried to continue the story without sounding broken "Danzo put me in a genjutsu after that.. I watched everyone I loved fall at my feet... The bodies piled until I couldn't feel anything anymore." I didn't want to tell Kakashi I had seen Itachi after that, I felt like it would make him more suspicious of me. "Baki finally found me, and when I was trying to rest in the hospital my father came to visit me with a mission."

"He wanted you to kill Gaara?"

I nodded, curious at how he would know that.

"We heard about the assassination attempts. That's part of why Itachi and I were there."

"What do you mean? He asked you to kill him... As a toddler?!" I felt sick to my stomach.

"No, not like that. He wanted Konoha's promise to allow him to deal with the jinchuuriki however he decided to." He quickly corrected, holding his hands up with his palms out to me.

I sighed softly, I still struggled with understanding my father's idea of politics. I felt tired, and I wanted to cry but I didn't want Kakashi to know either of those things.

"So you wouldn't kill Gaara and he banished you?"

"No." The memories were heavy, my ears rang as if Rasa was still shouting at me and my cheek burned where he'd hit me. "I left, I crossed out my home and ran."

"I don't understand why you went to Danzo?" He tilted his head, curiously assessing me with his grey eye.

"Hex asked me to." I shrugged slightly, it felt obvious to me.

"But your siblings?"

"I barely knew them, they are strangers now. I figured they would be safer if they didn't know where I was."

He was quiet for a moment as he thought everything over. I was sure he was going to try and offer some advice, to scold me, or to tell me everything was going to be okay. All three of those options were equally useless, but all were things people did when someone was in pain. "I'm glad you finally talked about it." He surprised me when he spoke. I stared at him and found something familiar staring back at me, his own pain somewhere behind the mask.

"I am too." I nodded, and it was the truth. I had cried while trying to speak, but he hadn't made me feel embarrassed or ashamed and there was something freeing about another person knowing. I felt like some of the weight had shifted, and I felt better.

There was an edge to it though, it was like when a cut has a scab. That was gone now, and I felt like my wounds were open and raw beneath the surface. Emotions swirled inside like a dam waiting to burst, causing my stomach to turn. I wanted to scream, to let everything out all at once, but not here among these strangers. I choked it down, taking gulps of air as if it would chase the bitterness away.

We were quiet for a while, watching the firelight die down and the shadows dance around us. It would be almost full dark soon, and I still hated the dark. "I think I'm going to go to bed." I told him, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. That voice was at it again, telling me I was a stupid little girl to share such stories with a practical stranger. I'd never let those things out before, not even to Hex but something about this man was different. He seemed like he was laid back, happy even but I saw something each time I looked into that dark, stormy grey eye. There was something familiar in its depths, something as sad and broken as I felt inside and it was comforting to not be alone. 

"Good night, Kairi." He nodded, standing and moving back to his own bedroll where he pulled out his usual book. 

It didn't take me long to fall asleep, I turned away from him so he wouldn't see the tears. I was good at silently crying, it happened a lot. For as numb as I felt the majority of the time, nights were the worst, I couldn't shut everything off and it always threatened to drown me.

-xXx-

Kakashi had been dozing off against the tree truck he was leaning on, book in hand. A soft noise woke him and it took him a moment to figure out where it had come from. Kairi stirred in her bedroll, letting out another soft cry as she slept. He was no stranger to nightmares, not his own and not Naruto or Sasuke's. With the boys it was easy, he'd summon some of his ninken and they would cuddle up to them the same way they had done for him when he was younger and terrorized at night. He thought about doing that now, summoning Buru or Bisuke as they were the best cuddlers, but he found himself wanting to go to the girl. 

He watched her thrash around for a while, wondering what she was dreaming about now. He figured it was the death of her friend again, Obito was still to this day was etched into his own eyelids. Kairi let out a scream now, not loud enough to disturb the Daimyo or his family but it did wake Asuma. 

"Not a very good night, huh?" The dark haired shinobi asked, his voice heavy with sleep as he sat down next to Kakashi and lit a cigarette. 

"It was like this last night too." Kakashi nodded, eye still on the sleeping girl. "Worse even."

"Between this, and those boys of yours you must have cherished the peace and quiet in the hospital." Asuma laughed, in that booming way he had. 

Kairi rolled over, facing them and Kakashi noticed she had her eyes shut tightly. She pushed her hands out in front of her as if she were fighting someone and she called out a name that made Kakashi and Asuma stop and look at each other. 

"Itachi.." Asuma repeated. "Wonder what the hell he did to her?" 

"The dogs said she was in a genjutsu when they found her." Kakashi pointed out, sighing in frustration. He wanted to go to her, to wake her and tell her it would be okay. He found himself wanting to protect her in the same way he did his genin, for she knew as much sadness in her life as any of them. 

"Just go to her." 

He turned his eyes to Asuma now, raising his eyebrows. 

Asuma butted out the smoke and lit another, taking a long drag of it before turning his head upwards to let that smoke out. "I know you don't know her very well, but I haven't seen you look at anyone like that before.. Just go hold her, it will help her sleep." 

Kakashi shook his head, and then wove the signs needed to summon his Ninken. Neither of them had to wait to hear their orders when they saw the thrashing girl. Buru gave a half asleep nod and padded over to curl up against the girls back as Bisuke nosed his way under her arm so she was snuggling him the way a child would a bear. It worked, she quieted, and no longer tossed or turned. 

Asuma gave Kakashi a look, but he only shrugged in reply. There was a lot going through his mind, the first issue being that she probably wouldn't be okay with waking up to him holding her. The second was more personal, a deeper secret. Kakashi didn't want to get close to her, didn't want her to rely on him the way he'd been encouraging her to. He was being reckless, selfish, he'd never kept his promises, not to Obito and not to Rin. He hadn't even been able to protect his own sensei and his wife.. He figured it would be better if he just ignored whatever was stirring between them.


	15. The Sun Will Always Rise.

An odd warmth and movement surprised me when I woke up, causing me to jump away from my bedroll in a panic. I heard a slight chuckle as I gazed at the two dogs who were staring at me as though I'd just dishonored their families.

"I didn't know you are afraid of dogs." A familiar voice came from above, making me look up to see Kakashi sitting on a tree limb.

"I'm not." I glared at him, hoping it would counteract my reddened cheeks. "I'm just not used to going to sleep alone and waking up not alone."

I heard Asuma's booming laughter and turned to find him and Kurenai cooking together. "I guess it's a good thing you didn't climb into bed with her."

I raised my eyebrows, looking from Asuma to Kakashi in confusion. I was still way too tired to process all of this and I was half considering just crawling back into my bedroll with the warm pups. "You were going to what?" 

Kakashi fell out of the tree, landing practically on his head as he adjusted his mask to hide more of his face and righted himself. "No, no I wasn't going to do that!" He sounded nervous, it was funny to see him waving his hands around so defensively. "Hey! Stop laughing at me!"

Kurenai and Asuma were busting a gut at the scene as I must have looked mortified at the idea of the Jonin crawling into my bedroll while I slept. I was also still embarrassed about the way I had woken up. I groaned internally, pulling my blankets away from the big bulldog and taking the tea Kurenai held out for me. She pulled the smaller dog into her lap and I leaned up against the larger while I sipped my tea and tried to wake up.

"You were having some pretty rough nightmares." Kurenai informed me as she patted the head of the dog in her lap. "Kakashi summoned Buru and Bisuke to help comfort you, he does it for his genin when they are on missions and they keep him up at night." 

"Well, I've got to get some sleep somehow." Kakashi was back to his too cool to care self as he sat down with orange book in hand. 

"What are you always reading?" I asked him, which caused Asuma and Kurenai to begin their laughter again. 

Kakashi quickly shoved the book into the pouch on his hip, his face turning as red as a tomato "Nothing, its nothing... just uh.. Mission tactics and such." 

Asuma snorted, spitting some of his breakfast into the fire as I actually saw him tear up. I glared at them, wondering what kind of joke I was being left out of but decided I had more to worry about. The Daimyo would be moving out again soon and if I didn't get dressed I would be trudging down the path in Kurenai's tiny shorts and probably just my chest wrappings as Kakashi would probably want the sweater back. I took my blankets into the woods and set them up the way Kurenai had before I changed back into the only pair of my clothes I had. It was a cold morning, so I took more care to wrap up my exposed leg, arms and my stomach where the padded top I wore ended. I was also frustrated with my hair, after two days of only brushing it with my hands it was beginning to look like a matted mess laying against my back. I pulled it up, rolling it into as tight a knot as I could manage and then tied it with some of the wrapping fabric. I usually kept it up on missions as it tended to get in my way. 

"Time to go, Kairi!" Asuma called from back over at the campsite. I rushed back and packed up my stuff, noticing with a bit of sadness that the Ninken had been unsummoned in my absence. 

Even though we had less distance to travel this time, it was a much longer day. Kakashi wasn't really talking to me for whatever reason, he had his nose buried in that book as he walked. I noticed he'd hidden the cover of the book which made me more annoyed. I decided to focus on the mission instead of the voice that was ringing in my head, telling me he'd gotten the information he needed and was now done with me until he handed me back over to the Kazekage. He didn't know the details of my mission, but it was easy enough to guess that I was following Naruto around, and now he knew that I was in the Root. 

"Ugh, now we can get back." Asuma interrupted my train of thought, making me look up and realize we were outside a set of grand gates. We'd successfully gotten the Feudal Lord and his family to their vacation home. "I might even make it in time."

"In time for what?" I asked, glad someone was finally talking. 

"His student is going to be made Chunin today." Kurenai smiled proudly. "He will be the first out of the rookie nine." 

"Shikamaru?" Kakashi asked, nose in book. 

"Yeah, I recommended him to the new Hokage." Asuma put a smoke to his smiling lips but when he saw the way Kurenai was looking at him he tucked it back into the pack. 

I wondered if it bothered Asuma that there was already a new Hokage, his father's funeral wasn't so long ago. He didn't seem bothered by the fact though, not anymore bothered than I was that there may be a new Kazekage in Suna. I figured he understood the way of life the same as I did, people die and there's nothing you can do about it, you just have to move on. There was a difference between understanding that, and actually living it, Asuma was a good example of living it. 

"Well, I suppose he would have won his match against Temari if he hadn't given up." Kakashi nodded, his voice disinterested. 

"Temari won her final match?" The thought of my sister becoming a chunin excited me, I wanted to see all of them do well. 

"She did." Asuma nodded. "Only because my student decided that it was too much of a 'drag' to finish the fight." 

Kurenai giggled a little "are you sure such a lazy boy should be promoted?" 

"He's not lazy, the kid is a genius he just needs to be challenged." Asuma talked about Shikamaru as if it were his own son, he beamed with pride. 

"Don't kid yourself." She gently teased him, nudging his arm. "You've got a boy obsessed little brat, a food addicted chicken, and the laziest excuse for a shinobi in Konoha history." 

"Oh yeah, and what do you have?" Kakashi added in "A hot headed beast boy, a bug infested misfit and that small, gentle girl." 

"Hey!" Kurenai growled. "Hinata is a force to be reckoned with, she could beat Neji with a little more training... besides Kakashi, what is it you call your team? The idiot squad?" 

"You've got that sulky little emo, a bratty little prankster and it's not like Sakura is much better than Ino on the boys front!" Asuma defended his girlfriend.

I burst out laughing hearing them fight like this, squabbling like siblings about who had the better team. I hadn't laughed that way since I was a child but something about three grown adults arguing over something so trivial was such a light in the darkness of this world. I genuinely hadn't witnessed something so funny in my adult life, aside from perhaps Mr. Bushy brows Sensei. I laughed so hard that I began to tear up and caused the others to stare at me, but soon they started laughing with me. They were still joking around and telling me funny stories about their teams as we reached the gates to Konoha, a trip that had taken two days out had only taken a couple hours back now that we were able to move at a decent speed. 

"You should have seen when Akamaru ate one of Shino's beetles, poor little dog was flea infested for a week." Kurenai shook her head, laughing at the memory. "Hinata was giving him baths almost every day with no idea why it wasn't working."

"Will you guys come with me to the Hokage's?" Asuma asked, gesturing to myself and Kakashi. 

"I'm stuck going where he goes." I shrugged slightly. 

Kakashi raised his eyebrow as he looked at me with that slate grey eye, and then turned to Asuma and assured him in a light hearted voice "Even if Kairi doesn't enjoy our company, we will be there." 

I glared at him again, it was becoming a habit. 

"You know, if you're really stuck with me." Kakashi shrugged, his voice back to that bored monotone. "Even though we make you laugh like that." 

"Ooh, right in the feelings." Asuma grinned, a cigarette now hanging from his lips as Kurenai glared at him. 

I shook my head, deciding not to argue with them. They already knew I was enjoying their company, this group really did seem to take the pressure of the world and just shrug it off which was something I wanted to learn. I felt something changing in myself after hanging out with them, I was starting to feel things again the good and the bad. I wasn't sure that was something I wanted, but the trip had been enjoyable so I decided if it could stay like this it might not be such a bad thing to let my guard down.


	16. Homecoming.

The ceremony for Asuma's genin had gone well, Shikamaru Nara had been made a Chunin on the recommendation of the proctors and his peers. We'd barely gotten to congratulate him when Lady Tsunade had come over to interrupt, requesting to see Kakashi and I in her office. I groaned internally as she stomped through the hallways, leading us. Kakashi stayed quiet beside me as we walked, back to giving me the silent treatment. 

"How did the mission go?" Tsunade asked after she had closed her doors and sat beside the desk at the front of the room. She fixed her eyes on Kakashi, ignoring my presence and sending a clear signal that it was not me she was asking. 

"I don't believe that Kairi is a threat to the village." Kakashi got right to the point, sitting sideways in his chair, his leg over the arm as he pulled out his book to read. 

"Kakashi Hatake, could you at least pretend to be interested in the seriousness of this discussion?" Tsunade asked, taking a deep breath as if her patience were wearing thin. 

From the corner of my eye I saw Kakashi roll his before he put his book away and sat up like a normal person. If Tsunade had seen that I was sure she would have blown up, the woman was always so intense it sort of scared me. "I had multiple chances to look into her mind and memories with my sharingan. Without going into too much detail, she has been cast out from her village, and manipulated by Danzo into joining his association." Kakashi had this way of sounding annoyed about everything sometimes. "Her mission, assigned to her by Lord Danzo seems to be nothing more than monitoring Naruto's movements." 

"So you do not believe she is a spy?" 

"No." He simply stated.

I sighed a little, I hadn't realized he could look into my head the way he described. I felt a little exposed, my most intimate memories had been scrutinized and he had most likely seen my interactions with the rogue Uchiha. 

Tsunade crossed her hands in front of her face, letting out a huff of frustration as she thought things over. She'd shifted so quickly from a daunting, raging woman to an overworked, overstressed and worn out woman who just wanted a drink and some peace. I almost sympathized with her, I'd been taught all of the duties of a Kazekage, it was enough to make anyone drink and had to be the same for a Hokage. 

"Lord Danzo hasn't been allowed to recruit in years." She finally said, regaining her composure. "Kairi, I need to know if there are any others in the Root forces that seem too young to be there."

I thought about Riku, he was younger than I was but it wasn't my place to say so. There were a few others down there that were probably recruited after he'd been limited but I didn't know their real names and I wasn't about to risk the curse mark killing me to speak about them. "I wouldn't know." I lied to her. 

"Lady Tsunade, I believe Kairi is of Jonin level skills and I think a shift into your Anbu would be the best course of action." Kakashi recommended before he suddenly stood, his eyes locked on the window. "I need to go now!" 

Kakashi ran out of the room before either of us could say a word, and as the doors slowly shut on the Hokage and I we just stared out the window at where he'd been looking. From here it looked like a fight between two genin over by the water towers. I raised my eyebrows, seeing bright light in some sort of jutsu I hadn't seen before. 

"Naruto and Sasuke." Tsunade groaned, rubbing her temples. "I was wondering how long it would be until that rivalry boiled over." 

The woman in front of me stood, and I gripped the base of my chair worried that she would actually tie me up now. This seemed to amuse her for a brief moment before I saw sympathy in her bright brown eyes. "I'm sorry for the way I have treated you, young Kazekage." She bowed her head to me, as one Kage would to another. 

I know she meant for it to be polite, honorable even but nothing could have been more like a slap in the face than her addressing me by that title. I kept my cool though, bowing my head back to her "Thank you, Lady Hokage, but I am not and will never get to be the Kazekage." 

She seemed to think that over for a moment, briefly seeming as though she would argue with me about it before she gave a soft, understanding nod. "Lord Fourth Kazekage Rasa's body has been found in the Land of Wind, I am not sure if you knew this." 

I nodded, of course I knew, there wasn't much that the Root didn't know. I always thought I would feel something when my father died, even if it was relief but even now after a night full of feelings and a day full of laughter, when it came to my father there was just a hollow pit. I wasn't angry at him anymore, I didn't feel hurt by him anymore, but I also did not miss him or feel remorse for his death. He was just dead and that was a part of life. "That doesn't mean that I can go home, or that I am now Kazekage. My village will choose from one of my siblings, and the Anbu will continue to hunt me. The stories my father told about me have not changed, and his death changes nothing for me." 

"Are you sure you wouldn't like me to send a message to your siblings?" 

"I'm sorry Lady Tsunade, if you don't want me here I will leave, but please don't bring them into this." I bit my lip, I wanted nothing more than to see them again but I didn't want to jeopardize whatever balance they had back in the village. The council members had probably favored Kankuro in my absence, and would probably make him the next Kazekage as they had never wanted a woman to take over in the first place. 

"Alright well, I'm going to have that curse mark removed from you." She said with determination. "You are no longer beholden to Danzo, or a member of his forces. I am going to take Kakashi's advice and request that you join the Anbu black ops under my direct influence." 

I stared at her, clear shock on my face as I took in her words. She had just stripped me of my ties to the Root, my ties to Hex and Riku. Everything I owned was in a bunk room down in those tunnels, and it wasn't much but I still wanted it back. "I.. I don't understand, Lady Hokage. Where am I to live then?" 

"Kairi, in the time you have been watching Naruto, how do you feel about the boy?" 

I had to think about that for a while, he was a bit of an idiot but it was in a sweet way. I'd watched him pull pranks and revel in the attention it got him, I'd seen him crying at night, watching everyone from the sidelines, trying to join in with the other kids and having them turn their backs on him. It reminded me of Gaara, and it broke my heart. "I feel the same way for him as I do my baby brother."

"You already know that there are new threats on either side of this. Orochimaru has already tried to take a genin from our village, I would not put it past him to attempt to take the jinchuuriki now that he's seen the potential the boy has. On the other side of it is the Akatsuki, who are a real and present threat to him." She didn't wait for a response from me as she continued on her rant. "What I am getting at is being that you are already so familiar with Naruto, I would like you to continue watching him." 

"Yes Lady Ho--" 

Tsunade held up a finger which caused me to shut up. "I am not done speaking yet. I am going to move Naruto and yourself into a two bedroom apartment, which I will be paying the rent for."

I actually felt my jaw drop. "You want me to live with him?" 

"Oh calm down would you? Jiraiya will want to continue his training soon so it isn't like he will even be there that often. I just think that he could really use someone, someone who is there for him the way he is for everyone else. That boy is going to change this world someday, I believe in him and I need you to as well."

She was serious and I was stunned, she really wanted me to babysit the brat. I couldn't help but hear her words and think of the way Kakashi had spoken about him too, that he 'has a way of making people believe in something again'. In truth I was rooting for the kid, I just didn't know if I was ready to cohabitate with him. I'd seen his room before when I had been tailing him, it was noodle cups, spoiled milk and bugs. I cringed just thinking about living in such a situation. "I'm sorry Lady Tsunade, it's just that Naruto and I are close to the same age and I don't think he will listen to me."

"I'm not asking you to be his mother, Kairi... Just be a friend, a big sister." She snapped, and then calmed her voice to the soothing tone I'd rarely been privy to. 

I could see this was an issue I wasn't going to win so I simply nodded "Alright, I'll do it.. I just need to get my stuff--" 

"It is already waiting to be unpacked." She grinned, a genuine, thankful smile. "Come in now please!" She called to the door, causing me to turn around.

A nervous looking Chunin poked his head into the door and then stepped fully into the room. He had light brown hair tied up on top of his head, held in place with the help of his Konoha headband, dark chocolate eyes that seemed kind and playful along with a deep, old scar running across the bridge of his nose and parts of his cheeks. 

"Saori." Tsunade nodded to me as she stood up, addressing me by the code name that would be used for anyone who didn't know my true identity. "This is Iruka Umino, he is the sensei at our Shinobi Academy.. He is going to be working closely with you and Naruto, as well as tutoring you." 

"Tutoring?" I raised an eyebrow as I turned my face back towards the blond woman. 

"Kakashi may believe you're of Jonin level, but you haven't been trained here in Konoha. If you're going to be a citizen, then you will need to know how things work around here."

I groaned internally, wishing I had just left the village now. As if she was going to put me through the same training genin hopefuls had to go through as children. The rest of the kids at the academy would be snot nosed little runts and I would stick out like a sore thumb. 

"It is nice to meet you, Saori." Iruka bowed his head to me slightly, so I returned the gesture. "Don't worry, I won't make you hang out with the kids." He quickly added with a little laugh. 

"There, see?" Tsunade huffed "It won't be so bad, now if you will please follow Iruka he will show you to your new home."


	17. Sunset.

"Take me high and I'll sing  
Oh you make everything okay.   
We are one in the same  
You take all of my pain away."  
My demons - Starset

After who knows how long in the hospital, two days in the forest, and then the long day I'd had I was excited to get into my new place and unpack the very few belongings I had. Part of me wondered if Hex had been down there when they had gone to get my stuff, or if Riku and her had ever returned from that mission. I pushed the dark thoughts from my mind and focused on Iruka, who was giving brief descriptions of the villages landmarks and businesses as though it were my first time here. In a way it was, my first time actually being a part of the village that is. I walked beside Iruka without my mask, or the cloak that went with our uniforms, I walked out in the open, the only thing hiding was the spiral branding that ran down my left arm signifying I was from Sunagakure. 

"So, Lady Tsunade has informed me that you have just moved here from one of the outlying villages?" Iruka tried to strike up a conversation as he shoved his hands into his pockets. 

"Did she?" I gave him a fake smile. "Well, yes." 

"She didn't go into much detail.." He pried lightly. 

I thought of all the stories I could make up to tell him right now. Perhaps I was a protected witness, or a diplomat who had suffered a mutiny and was now in hiding, or maybe I was a Kage's daughter who had run away from a lifetime of boring paperwork. The last one was almost too close to the truth, but I wasn't sure what official story Tsunade would start telling curious ears. "Lady Hokage is my aunt, when my mother died she began to train me." I shrugged slightly, as if it wasn't a big deal. "When she moved back to the village, I decided to come as well." 

"Really?" Iruka asked in disbelief. "You don't look like her at all." 

"I call her aunt but she's more of a godparent type thing.." I sputtered out, realizing I was now going to have to tell Lady Tsunade I'd claimed to be her dependent. 

"Well, however you got here I'm sure you're going to enjoy it." Iruka gave me an encouraging smile as he unlocked a ground level door. "You'll fit right in." 

With all the sad stories I'd heard from this village so far, I wondered if he was more correct than he knew. "Is this the place?" I asked in awe as he lead me inside. It was more of a house than any kind of apartment, with two levels, two bathrooms and tons of space. 

"Yup, this is the one your aunt got for you." He smiled kindly, handing me the keys. 

"I don't know what I am going to do with all of this space." 

"Naruto is sure to fill it up for you.." Iruka mused, and then got a more serious tone. "You'll look after him won't you? He is very special to me, like a little brother." 

"I wonder why she didn't ask you to move in with him?" I laughed a little, trying to lighten the mood. 

"It wouldn't be appropriate since I am in a place of authority over Naruto." He shrugged, scratching his head. "It is the same reason that he doesn't live with Kakashi." 

"Yo." A voice from behind us startled me. "Talking about me, huh?" 

We turned to see Kakashi leaning in the doorway, hands in his pockets. Something was off about him now, he was trying to hard to look like he wasn't trying at all. His slate grey eye was different too, distant somehow. Something was bothering him, and I could read that from the little of his face I could see as easily as if it were written in front of me. 

"Ah, Kakashi Senpai." Iruka greeted him. "I was just making sure Saori got settled in alright, and telling her why Naruto doesn't live with either of us." 

Kakashi nodded but didn't speak, his eye was focused on me and it was an intense gaze that made me feel exposed and cold. "Aunt Tsunade got me this place, and Naruto is moving in with me.." I spoke, trying to shake the feeling. 

"Well, I hate to cut your welcoming short... but we have a mission." He was lying, but I couldn't tell why. 

"What? Are you sure?" Iruka asked, furrowing his brow. "We just came from Lady Hokage and she asked me to tutor Saori until Naruto got home." 

Kakashi sighed heavily, and then with a forced smile he explained to Iruka that because the village was so short handed at the moment, the last mission had to be filled by a Jounin and that he was the only one available right now. "I figured because Saori is of Jonin skill level, she would back me up. I would invite you along as well Iruka but I know you have classes tomorrow." 

That seemed to work, Iruka nodded quickly "Of course, I'm sorry." 

I looked between the two of them, unsure what to do. I figured Lady Tsunade would be upset if she found out that I wasn't here to greet Naruto, but at the same time Kakashi seemed like he really did need me for something. "What about Naruto?" I muttered out softly. 

"Jiraiya said he wanted to speak with him, so he won't be along for a while." He assured me, adjusting impatiently. 

"I'll stay so that someone is here when he gets here, you go ahead on your mission." Iruka smiled, his face was so kind it was hard not to smile back. 

"Well alright then, thank you for everything Iruka Sensei." I bowed my head respectfully at him, and followed Kakashi -who gave a slight wave of his hand- out the door. 

Once we were well past the village gates, and a little ways down the path Kakashi, without a word began to walk away from the path and into the woods. He hadn't spoken to me since the apartment, and I wasn't sure where we were supposed to be going so I followed him silently. He lead us up to a bluff above the village that had the most amazing view I'd seen outside the desert. The village laid out beneath us, lined by forest on all sides and the setting sun was just beginning to dip below the heads of the Hokage monument. The sky was on fire with orange, yellow, pink and purple that reflected off the windows in the village as well as any of the lakes that were visible to us. 

"This is amazing." My eyes were wide in awe. 

"I brought Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke up here a few times." He shrugged, not turning to me when he spoke. 

"Are they okay? Earlier on the roof of the hospital, when you left Lady Tsunade said that--" 

"This rivalry they have is toxic." I saw his hands balled into fists. "Sasuke was actually trying to kill him.." 

I assumed he was talking about Naruto, and found the information shocking. Two boys from the same village, from the same team.. In a rivalry like that? One that would actually cause them to try and kill each other. "Is Naruto okay?" 

"I stopped them" Kakashi nodded, turning finally to look at me. "I'm worried that it wasn't the end of this though. Naruto has always been trying to catch up to Sasuke, to prove he is as good.. Sasuke though, when he sees Naruto get stronger he feels like he is losing instead of viewing it as them both growing. Sasuke is so focused on getting revenge on his brother, he's losing focus of the dream he originally had.. To restore the Uchiha clan in Konohagakure."

"You feel responsible for it?" 

"I've encouraged the rivalry yes, but I think where I really failed them was by submitting them to the Chunin exams." He was lost in his own thoughts again, distant. "Something happened in the forest of death that has changed Sasuke... and then he went after Itachi when he found out he'd come back to the village." 

I sighed softly, deciding to use his own words against him. "You can't think like that, whatever you did is what you thought you had to do, there is no use in telling yourself any different." 

He looked up at me, I caught a glitter in his eye, just a hint of wetness that may be a tear but he gave me a weak smile from under his mask. "I'm sorry Kairi, I brought you out for a mission." 

"Its okay." I tried an encouraging smile that just felt awkward. "I know that you lied." 

"I didn't lie about the mission." He turned back to the setting sun, and then bent down and pointed a thumb towards his back. "Lady Tsunade may not know you're with me, but I am late for my mission." 

I stared at the awkward position he'd squatted into, trying to understand what the hell he was doing. "Uh... let's hurry then?"

He chuckled a bit, and it made me smile. I felt like talking to me had helped him feel a little bit more himself, the way he'd done for me in the forest. "I'd like to carry you, if it is alright? It is just that I am much faster than you and we need to go now." 

I blushed, embarrassed that I hadn't realized what he was trying to do. I wanted to argue with him about my speed, to prove to him that I could keep up but I didn't feel like he was in the mood for an argument so instead I did as he wished, walking forwards and hopping onto his back with my legs wrapped around his waist and my arms around his shoulders so I didn't choke him. 

Kakashi Hatake was not kidding about his speed, once he'd gotten a good run going on I had to bury my face against his neck to stop the wind from making me cry. I wasn't complaining though, I was intoxicated by that scent of his that I'd smelled on his sweater. He didn't seem to mind either, he held my legs tight against his body with one hand and held both of my hands together in the other. He spoke softly to me as he ran, and the fact that I could pretty much just whisper in his ear meant I didn't have to choke on wind to try and talk to him. I filled him in on the meeting with Lady Hokage, about my switch to Anbu, the tutoring with Iruka and the living situation with Naruto. Even Kakashi seemed pleased about the outcome, commenting that some tutoring wouldn't be too bad and that Naruto could benefit from living with an older woman.

"That kid could do with some manners and feminine influence." He grinned, bouncing between tree limbs.

I gave a weak "Mhmm" still hopelessly lost in that scent and the fact that he'd referred to me as a woman instead of a girl. It was strange how that made me feel so happy, but I wasn't in a mindset to question it and thankfully for once that voice in my head had shut up.


	18. Dusk.

"Kairi?" Kakashi said softly as he slowed his pace to a halt. "We're close now." 

He felt the girl shift on his back and he released his hold on her, allowing her to slide down his back and onto her own feet. He quickly exposed his sharingan and looked around them for any potential sentries as she began to rub her inner thighs and complain about his boney hips. He couldn't help but grin, watching her do her weird dance as she tried to bring life back into her sleeping legs. "I'm sorry." 

"Just, let me walk back?" She whined softly, but she was smiling when she looked up to meet his gaze with those deep, indigo eyes of hers. "Where are we anyway?" 

"We're close to the border to the Land of Wind." He informed her, taking another look around for any sign of guards. "Near the last known hideout of Orochimaru."

Kairi shuddered slightly and he understood, no matter which way you cut it, they were here for the man who'd killed her father. He wondered if she was sad about his death, but he remembered what he'd seen in those eyes the last time he looked with his sharingan and part of him wished it was himself instead of Orochimaru that had rid the world of a man like him. He couldn't stop himself, he reached out and touched her cheek where Rasa had once punched her, running his thumb softly along her jawline as she stared at him curiously. He was surprised she hadn't jerked away like she did the last time he'd tried to touch her, but he knew the reason for that too. 

He couldn't help but wonder, out of Itachi and himself, which one Rasa would have ultimately chosen for his daughter. That was the other half of his mission to Sunagakure, the one he hadn't had the heart to tell her about. Rasa had planned to trade her off to Asuma, the son of the Hokage in order to strengthen the bonds between the villages. When Asuma had refused, complaining that he wished to choose a bride for himself, Hiruzen had given in and done the next best thing he could think of, sending two of the youngest and most impressive shinobi in his ranks for Rasa's scrutiny. 

At the time, Kakashi had been fifteen and utterly disinterested in a six year old girl, especially one who wasn't able to effectively hide or seek out her siblings. She hadn't shown much promise in the way of a leader, and he could tell Rasa was hoping that she would take the title of Kazekage, while the husband he picked for her would rule under his advisory. Such a young bride had put him off at the time, not that it was unheard of, most matches were made the old way, which meant quite an age gap. Now though, she didn't seem so young or so helpless, and something about her calmed him, allowed him to open up and let his emotions out. That feeling alone was addictive, the feeling of being understood by someone for once in his life. 

"Kakashi?"

He noticed Kairi was waving a hand in front of his face, and he immediately came back to the here and now. "Sorry."

"Thinking about Sasuke?" She asked, tilting her head a little, the way Pakkun did sometimes. 

Kakashi just nodded "I'm here now though, let's head in." He lead her to where an entrance hatch was hidden in some vines and leaves. "Stay behind me, no matter what." He smirked when she glared at him, but she fell in line behind him anyways. 

They descended through a pitch black cave-like tunnel with his sharingan leading the way, it wasn't until they hit a lit tunnel that they encountered any resistance. Kakashi quickly dealt with the Sound Shinobi, thankful it wasn't one of Orochimaru's cursed students. 

"It is like a maze down here." She complained as they walked through identical looking hallways, some with doors that lead to empty rooms, some that just ended abruptly and made them turn around. "What are we looking for?" 

"Any kind of lab, we need to find something to counteract Sasuke's curse mark... I think it is the only way to save him." Kakashi whispered as he felt his way along the wall, checking for secret entrances.

They walked another half hour or so, descending another dark tunnel before the hallways opened up into a vast, poorly lit chamber. At the far end of the room, lit only by two torches was a throne like structure decorated with two dueling snakes, he could make out pillars in the dark, as if it were some sort of old temple. A slithering in the darkness caught his attention and he whispered to Kairi to stay close to him. 

When he didn't hear her, he turned to find she was gone. Panic shook him, he knew she'd been with him when they entered the hall. Whatever or whoever took her had just done so, so she had to be close. He glared around the dark with his sharingan when he saw small, almost micro particles floating upwards in the dark. He quickly glanced up to find Kairi in the arms of a white haired shinobi he'd seen in Konoha on the day of the attack. He couldn't throw a weapon without hitting her, the man had her held right against the middle of his body with a hand over her mouth but as Kakashi stared at him, Kairi winked.

Suddenly the air around him moved, those tiny particles he had noticed before turned into kunai and flew towards them. He heard the male curse, and he watched as he dropped Kairi from where he'd been perched along the ceiling. Kakashi quickly moved to catch her, holding his arms out but right before she landed in them, the white haired enemy dove in again, snatching her away from Kakashi and throwing a handful of dirt towards his sharingan. Kakashi ducked, blocking his eyes with his arms. 

He heard Kairi scream from somewhere in the distance and then it went totally silent around him. When he opened his eyes he couldn't make out anything in the room, even with his sharingan. There was nothing but pitch black surrounding him and when he reached out with his hands they met with something cold and smooth that seemed to be encasing him. He quickly drew his arm back and launched a chakra infused punch right through the thing, cracking it like an egg and letting him escape back into the light. When he turned around to examine his cage, he realized it wasn't a cage at all but a perfectly round sphere of dark metal. Kairi's ultimate defense.. He cringed when he saw the large, snake like fang protruding from the side of it. She'd used her defense to protect him from whatever had happened while he was dodging the dirt that had been thrown at him. 

He quickly turned around, scanning the room with his sharingan for any sign of the girl, or the attackers but it was empty, and no sound carried through the hallways. He started to breath heavily as panic set in. He scanned the roof, he searched for tracks, he listened in the dark until the silence was deafening. He was on the verge of running through the hallways and calling out to her when he came across a familiar sweet smell, like wet sage and lotus blossoms. 

Kakashi bolted off down the hallway that he'd caught the scent in, quickly summoning Pakkun who had an even better nose. He took out ten or twelve nin on the way through, but they were like cutting down butter in the state he was in now. He'd drop them with one swift movement, no time for style or playing fair. He couldn't let her die, he couldn't let it happen again.

A shrill, terrified scream that made his stomach turn came from somewhere behind the dead end wall in front of him. It wasn't a scream he'd ever thought he would hear from a girl like Kairi, it was full of pain and horror and it only made him panic further. In a flash Kakashi weaved three signs with his fingers, and then when he'd gotten the shape he wanted he forced Raikiri through the wall, having no time to search for the hidden lever. 

As the dust cleared in the room, he found Kairi lying nearly unconscious in the rubble. Scanning the room he found no other entrances and nobody but Kairi inside. He quickly picked her up in his arms and tossed her like a doll over his shoulder following behind Pakkun who led them out of the maze and back up into the night air. He couldn't help but be worried about the fact that nobody even tried to stop them from leaving, but he was worried they were trying to set a trap to get her back. 

He ran until they were clear enough of the hideout, and he was sure they weren't being followed. He slid Kairi off his shoulder, into his arms and then laid her down against the trunk of a tree. He noticed she was shivering and asked Pakkun to watch her while he got a fire going.


	19. Cursed.

I wasn't ready for the pain I felt when I began to wake up, I heard myself whimper unwillingly as I tried to move from the uncomfortable position I was in. It wasn't even a full second before someone was beside me, gently lifting me forwards. He was speaking but the sound was just a ringing in my ears, his face just a blur before my vision cleared. It was harder now than ever before to pull myself out of my sleep and in the hazy half-dream I heard my voice call out for my little brother.

The ringing gave way to words, and I heard the soothing voice saying "Shh, it's okay." As my vision cleared I looked up to see both of Kakashi's eyes staring at me, and when the pain was no longer the only sensation in my body I realized he was holding me, stroking my hair. I rubbed at my eyes, realizing not only was he holding me but I'd been laying against his chest, my legs between his and by the the dark circles on his face, I'd been keeping him awake.

"Where are we?" I asked, struggling to try and get up. 

"We're in the Land of Fire, I set up camp for the night." He whispered against my hair. "I am so sorry Kairi, I think I overdid it breaking into that room."

I looked up at him, confused as I gave up trying to move myself. Every limb felt bruised and my blood felt like it was on fire. I closed my eyes to stop the spinning in my head and remembered we had been in Orochimaru's hideout, and that someone had grabbed me in the dark. I remembered seeing some snake like creature go at Kakashi, and I remembered drawing iron into a sphere to protect him but I couldn't remember anything after that. "What happened?" 

"I heard you behind a wall, and I got a little carried away trying to get to you.." His tone wasn't bored now, more concerned than anything. "I think I knocked the wall down on top of you." 

"Why are we laying like this?" I asked sleepy, not fully ready to wake up.

"You were having another nightmare." He admitted, apologizing again and then adding "Just sleep Kairi, I'll protect you. I won't let you get hurt again." 

I believed him, and I was too exhausted to protest about sleeping arrangements so I rested my head back on the padding of his flack jacket and let myself drift off to sleep once again. I dreamt of snakes, white snakes with red eyes slithering all over my body, eventually making their way under my skin. I could feel the pain in my veins as they slithered and writhed within me but I couldn't scream, and I couldn't move.

I felt fine when I awoke again, my body was still a little sore from the bruising but the burning had subsided. I was still a little shaken up from the nightmare I'd had, even checked my arms once or twice to make sure there was nothing under my skin. Kakashi was awake before I was, I doubt he slept at all. I figured he'd laid there all night, awake, watching the trees around us for any signs of a threat. I felt bad for it, he hadn't gotten much sleep since he'd met me.

"Ugh, did you really have to drop a wall on me?" I teased at him, rubbing one of my shoulders. 

"Well, the other option was to leave you there." He shrugged. 

I glared at him until he looked up and gave me a little smirk under that mask, and then handed me a bowl of rice and a cup of tea. I ate greedily, my stomach felt like a hollow pit today, but the warmth of the tea helped with that a little bit.

Kakashi still hadn't covered his sharingan, and I caught him watching the forest around us as he ate. He was making me feel uneasy and after breakfast I began to rush him to get us back on the road again. Something had made him feel like we would be followed, I wasn't sure I wanted to know what it was. 

We'd walked for only a couple hours, talking about anything and everything that came up. We avoided the subject of Sasuke as much as we could, I figured Kakashi didn't want to get worked up about him again until he got back to the village and saw him. I kept him distracted with questions about the village, and about the shinobi rules that were to be followed in Konoha. I swear he had the rule book memorized, I wouldn't have been surprised if that was the book I constantly caught him reading when the conversation had drifted off for too long.

I started feeling tired again before noon, my body protesting every movement I made. I was determined to keep going on my own, and Kakashi hadn't complained about the slow pace. He'd stopped watching our surroundings awhile back, even covered up his sharingan. I figured now he was just enjoying the day, the trip back from a mission was always like a mini vacation. I was pushing through my body's unwillingness to move forward until I actually fell over.

I whimpered as I tried to push myself up out of the dirt and my arms collapsed beneath me, muscles screaming out in protest. Kakashi quickly swept me up in his arms, and I could see on his face that he was worried again. This time it wasn't about anyone following us, but about what was wrong with me. I started shivering not long after that, I wasn't cold but my body just continued quaking and vibrating on its own accord.

"You don't remember anything?" Kakashi asked me the question for probably the twentieth time. I shook my head weakly, and then lost the fight to stay awake once more.

The steady bounce of Kakashi running woke me up again, he had me pressed against his chest like a child, with one arm on the back of my thighs and the other across my back so he could hold me securely with how fast he was moving. The trees around us blurred together until they gave way to buildings, the familiar buildings of the leaf village. He didn't stop running until we were inside the sterile white walls of the hospital. "Kakashi what are you doing?"

"You're sick." He said it flatly, leaving no room for argument. I tried to listen as he spoke to a nurse about me but my head was too fuzzy, the ringing in my ears was fading in and out making it impossible to hear just about anything. He followed the nurse to an empty, single bed hospital room. He laid me down gently on the bed and I couldn't help but curl into a tight ball as he covered me up with as many blankets as he could find. I was freezing and sweating at the same time, but the fire still hadn't returned to my veins. "Kairi, I'm going to get Lady Tsunade and then I will be back."

I nodded weakly, snuggling into the soft, motionless pillow. I was drifting in and out of sleep when Lady Tsunade came bursting through the doors of my room. Sakura was close behind her, she looked like she'd been crying all night and I noticed that Kakashi wasn't with them. 

"Is everything okay?" I half whispered as they came towards my bed. 

"Nothing for you to worry about right now." Tsunade hushed me, already sounding annoyed. "What were you doing out on a mission? He can be so reckless sometimes, he wasn't like that when he was younger." 

"Orochimaru." I managed to weakly speak.

"I know what happened, at least as much as Kakashi knows." She assured me as she rolled up her sleeves and pulled back the layers of the blanket cocoon I had made. Green chakra radiated from the Hokage's hands as she examined me, the warmth was amazing on my skin. Everything in my body called out to that chakra, longing for the heat. I'd never gotten sick before, so I figured this is what a fever felt like. I assumed she would give me some soup and tell me to rest for a few days but the frustration on her face told me it wasn't going to be that easy.

"Kairi, did you see Orochimaru?" Tsunade asked, beginning to lift my hair away from the back of my neck. 

"No, the other one." I sighed, feeling a little better after she'd examined me.

"Did you feel anything like a bite?" 

I hadn't, but when the burning had rushed through my veins it had seemed to be most painful on the back of my left arm, which was also where the worst of the slithering snakes had been in my dreams. The memory of it made me shudder as I explained all of this to Tsunade who immediately began unwrapping my branding.

"This is what I was afraid of.." She said, more to Sakura than to me. I began to panic a little as the two of them examined the Anbu branding with very confused looks. Tsunade traced an odd shape on my arm with the nail of her thumb, and then placed her palm over my skin, radiating green chakra again that felt like absolute heaven when it hit my arm. 

"It is a curse mark." She finally told me when I'd sufficiently annoyed her enough by twisting my arm and trying to see it. "It isn't like anything I've seen from Orochimaru before though, it is cleaner work."

"Is it going to do to her what it has done to Sasuke?" Sakura whined at Tsunade, staring at my arm in horror.

Tsunade shook her head, finally letting go of my arm so I could examine the markings. It almost looked like a white snake eating its own tail, and it shined if the light hit it. It was almost hidden in the swirling pattern of the hourglass, but once I turned my arm towards the light it had been clear. "This is nothing like the marking Sasuke has, I think this one is meant to drain chakra." Tsunade explained, taking my arm in her hands again.

"Why would they put that on her?" Sakura raised her eyebrows, looking from me to Tsunade.

"My best guess is so that she would come back, there are markings in here that would bind her to whoever put this on her." She was tracing it with her nail again, seeing lines and patterns I couldn't. "The closer she is to the cursor, the better she will feel, the slower her chakra will drain." 

"Can you remove it?" I asked, fully freaked out now. 

"I'm going to have to do some research, and gather some supplies.. It may take me awhile to get ready. In the meantime we will need someone sharing Chakra with you.. And to monitor how fast it is draining." 

"Why would they do this to me?" I groaned "Why not just kill me?" 

"Orochimaru collects jutsu, Kairi." Was all Tsunade needed to say for the realization to set in on me. I'd heard about his experiments, even when I'd been back in Sunagakure.. Now I was going to be one of them. "Sakura? Would you mind staying here and sharing with Kairi until I can organize something?"

Sakura nodded intently, and placed her hands on my arm, warming my entire body with the flow of her chakra. It surprised me how much control she had over it for a genin. Tsunade assured us she would either be back, or send someone to take over soon and left us here in the room.


	20. Failure.

Kakashi used the rooftops to bypass the tangled and crowded village streets in an effort to reach Lady Tsunade's office quicker. He wanted to go check on Sasuke, Naruto and Sakura but first he would make sure Kairi was safe and stable. Once he reached the rooftop of the Hokage tower, he slid open the window which startled the Lady Hokage who was slumped over her desk with her head in her hands, obviously burdened down by the stress of her position. Just another reason Kakashi had never entertained a dream of being Hokage. 

"Kakashi?!" She raised her eyebrows as she turned around, watching him let himself in through the window. 

"Yo."

"What are you doing back?" She seemed flustered as she tried to hide a list of rosters in front of her but he very clearly saw Naruto and Sasuke's pictures amongst the paperwork. 

"We ran into some trouble." He sighed, knowing he was about to be scolded. "Kairi was captured, I got her back but something is wrong with her."

Clearly pissed off now, Tsunade thrusted her fists down on her desk as she lifted herself up from her chair "You took her with you? That was not in the mission briefing I outlined for you!"

Kakashi groaned as he slumped in one of the chairs in front of her desk, dragging a hand down his face. "Yeah yeah, I took her with me, now can we focus on the problem? I have checked her into the hospital but I think you should take a look at her, you know more about Orochimaru than anyone else." 

She looked like she was about to lecture him, but when he let out another, louder groan her face changed into a look of concern. "Tell me everything." 

Kakashi filled her in on the mission from the moment they had gotten to the hideout, explained the maze like layout and the strange white haired man he'd come across that had taken Kairi. He then explained exactly how he'd found her, and that he chose to abandon the mission to get her back to the village. 

"Kabuto... Yes, I've met him." She'd sat back down as he was filling her in and now her head was back in her hands as she thought everything through. "You know, I could really use a drink." 

"It will have to wait." Kakashi gave her a half smile. "Right now you need to attend to her, and I need to check in on the idiot squad." 

Tsunade suddenly lifted her head and began chewing on her lip as if she were wanting to tell him something. She finally let out a sigh and then began to explain that Izumo and Kotetsu had discovered Sakura sleeping outside very early in the morning the other day. She had explained to them that Sasuke was planning on leaving the village, and that he may have knocked her out in his bid to get away. Kakashi couldn't help but feel bad for her, she was so helplessly in love with him and he cast her aside constantly, his only love being for his revenge. He wondered what kept her hanging on so tightly when Sasuke rarely gave her any hope.

"So, I did the only thing I could think of and asked Shikamaru Nara to gather some of the rookie nine and retrieve him." She drew him back to the conversation with the last thing he wanted to hear right now.

"What did you say?" Kakashi asked as he shot up from his chair, crossing over to her desk and placing his hands down against it. "You mean you sent Genin after Sasuke?" 

"Well, what else could I do?" She asked, in a calm voice as she tried to defuse the situation. "You know the state that this village is in right now.." 

Kakashi groaned as he slumped forwards, there wasn't going to be much use explaining to her why that had been a bad idea when she'd already sent them off. 

"Anyway, I have a contingency plan in place." She stated proudly, sliding three rosters in front of him. 

He gazed at the names and faces, more Genin but powerful ones at least. It seemed Tsunade had sent word to Sunagakure and requested help from the Sand siblings. Naruto had seemed to get through to Gaara, at least a little so it was a hopeful plan, nonetheless it was still three more Genin against Orochimaru's cursed henchmen. They may be strong, but they wouldn't be enough and he felt that in his gut. He thought about Sasuke and Naruto, worried that it would all come to a head with them facing off. He didn't think Naruto would survive it, not with Sasuke's determination... And then there were the rumors, the ones he had unknowingly tested and found true about awaking the next stage of a Sharingan by killing one's best friend.

"Hey! Where are you going?" Tsunade called angrily as he numbly turned to walk out of her office. She held up an S rank briefing, no doubt the mission he was to leave on as soon as he returned from the previous. "You already have a mission assigned to you!"

"I-- have to go run an errand first." He explained without trying too hard to make it sound like the truth. "Be back in a bit." He waved goodbye as he opened the door and left. "Don't worry, and please go and check on Kairi." 

He was lost in thought as he left the building, thinking of all the ways the situation may play out. No matter what paths he could think of, they all lead in the death of one of his students and that was unacceptable. He decided he would summon all of his Ninken to track them down, and as soon as they caught one of the boys scents he would push himself as hard as he could to catch up to them. 

"Kakashi Sensei!" Sakura's voice interrupted his thoughts and stopped him in place as she ran towards him. "Kakashi Sensei it has already been two full days now since Sasuke left the village... Naruto and the others haven't come back." She took a breath before adding "and Lee is out there too!" 

"I know, I'm pretty much up to speed now." He said numbly, starting to walk towards the village gates once more. He wasn't really listening to her now because he already could guess what she was saying, she was worried about them as she always was. He stopped walking when he reached her and placed a hand on her shoulder, giving her a big fake smile as he tried to reassure her. "Sakura, you don't need to worry about a thing. Just leave it to me." 

He'd heard her footsteps following his, but he was too lost in thought to comfort her now. When he got to the village gates he weaved his signs and pressed his palm to the dirt, activating the seal that called forth all eight of his ninken. Buru and Pakkun were the first to show up, with Pakkun riding on Buru's massive head. Bisuke and Guruko came next, then Akino and Uhei Shiba and Urushi came last, yapping away at each other until they noticed Kakashi standing before them. 

"Okay guys!" Kakashi commanded of them, trying to get them to calm down as they began to bark and nip at each other "Fan out and search for Sasuke and Naruto's scent."

"Did you say Naruto and Sasuke?" Pakkun perked his tiny head up. "What's going on, what happened to the two of them?"

"I'll explain later." Kakashi promised the pug, knowing that he too had grown attached to the boys. "Right now time is of the essence." 

"Right." Pakkun nodded, barely being heard over the yapping of the others. 

"Let me know as soon as you pick up their scent. I will be there immediately." Kakashi ordered before waving his hand. "Alright! Scatter!" 

The restless yapping died out as the dogs did as they were told, spreading out in all different directions around the village. He sighed, wondering what he should do as he waited for them to report back with the scent, he didn't want to get too far in one direction incase the call came in from the opposite direction. He suddenly remembered Sakura had followed him and turned to look at her, seeing her trembling with worry. Well, they did go at each other right in front of her eyes... I guess there is no point in telling her not to worry.

His mind took him back to the fight he'd broken up, Naruto may have just been sparring but Sasuke had intent to kill. He thought about what he'd said to Sasuke the last time he'd seen him. At the time he thought it had been an effective lecture, he thought it would get through to him that revenge was not the path he should go down. He hadn't realized the true pull of what Sasuke felt, and how it would be augmented by that curse mark Orochimaru had placed on him. I was too naïve, those two could end up killing each other.

The howl from the treeline came quicker than he had expected, and he was thankful to not be left with his thoughts anymore. He took off running before the second howl had even sounded, leaving Sakura and the village behind him. He ripped through the forest, using the trees to push him forwards at his top speed. "I hope I get there in time." He urged himself. He'd promised them he wouldn't let them die.. He intended to keep this promise as much as Obito's voice was already sounding off in his head that he had failed to keep his other promises. 

The main factors that had helped make him feel like a whole person again were falling between his fingers. Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura had given his life purpose again, had returned for him his hope that this world wasn't just going to be a tragic story. They'd become like siblings to him, or if he dared say it he felt like a guardian over them. Then there was Kairi, with how weak she had been when he left her in the hospital he was sure she was dying. She had been the key to his darkness, allowing him to express it without fear. She was the only person he felt could understand all that he'd gone through, even if their own stories were different. She'd brought his real laugh back, and caused him to confront his pain, to accept it. All of these things were too precious for him to lose, and yet he felt helpless to stop any of it. No, I can get there in time. He assured himself, pressing forward even faster.


	21. Bitterest Betrayal.

I knew Hex was here before she stepped through the door, the weight of the darkness that clung to her pressed down like a burial shroud. Her ominous presence caused me to cut off my conversation with Sakura abruptly. The pink haired genin had been going on and on about Sasuke since Tsunade left her here, and I'd been failing at consoling her as she shared chakra with me. 

"He's just so stubborn he refuses to see what's right in front.." 

"Sakura, could you give me a while with my friend?" I asked, giving her an apologetic look as Hex pushed open the door. 

"But Lady Tsunade said.." 

"It's okay." I forced an encouraging smile. "You've given me enough for now, you will be too tired to move if you stay." 

"I've got her if she needs anything." Hex gave Sakura a kind smile, but paired with her black eyes it still seemed sinister. 

Sakura nodded, and bowed respectfully to us as we were technically her superiors and then left the room. I allowed Hex a genuine smile, briefly forgetting how hurt I'd been at her absence as it was overthrown by my excitement to see her. Sakura paused in the doorway as she opened it to come face to face with someone else. "Oh..." She struggled with her words. "I'm sorry, I didn't see you there." 

I couldn't blame her for the reaction when I saw who she was speaking to behind the door. A tall, lean, orange haired man was standing there with a stoney expression on his face. He wore a simple black outfit, no padding or weapons in sight but that isn't what made us uncomfortable. He was wearing the darkest pair of glasses I'd ever seen, and his face was full of piercings, thick black rods impossibly shoved through his nose, his ears, spikes hung from his lips. 

The pair stepped into the room as Sakura left, and shut the door behind them. "Kairi, this is Yahiko.." 

Realization dawned on me as she said his name, she'd told me about him before. There were brief moments in our shared history when she would open up to me, tell me stories about the strange old man -who had turned out to be Naruto's Sage Sensei Jiraiya- and his three children she'd lived with for a while. Nagato, the one she talked about the most.. Yahiko who was like an older brother to her, and Konan the little girl who taught her how to be strong. Tears came to my eyes as I stared at them, she'd finally found them.. "Hex.." 

"Yeah." She smiled brightly, but it didn't last very long. "Kairi, I just came back to say goodbye." 

"You're going with them?" I asked, my own stupid grin fading as I watched her approach my bed and hug me tight into her arms. 

Hex nodded against me, whispering into my hair. "There is something wrong with this world, you know that.. They know how to fix it, we are going to fix it." She spoke the words like promises as I processed what she was saying. "You're going to get the life you always deserved, Lady Kairi." 

"What are you talking about?" I pulled away from her so I could look up to her, confusion pulling my eyebrows downwards. Her traveling partner remained silent behind her, his face turned towards us. "Let me come with you." 

"You can't, you wouldn't understand what needs to be done." 

"What needs to be done?" I mumbled back her words, only finding more confusion. "Hex, you're the closest thing I have to family." 

"Not anymore, your siblings are here.. Go to them, explain everything and go home." She smiled but there was sadness in her eyes. "Just forget about me." 

"Vey, we could take her... Itachi said that..." 

"Shut up, Yahiko." Hex growled at him but I'd heard him clear enough. 

"You're with Itachi?" My mind was processing that in slow motion, like a child trying to put together a puzzle with the box right in front of them. Hex knew Itachi, and he seemed to have spoken about me to her... Itachi was in the Akatsuki, and he also shared the view that this world was broken.. The Akatsuki had found a way to fix it? I was stuck on that, the idea of fixing this sad, sick world. I almost considered asking her again if I could come along with them but I remembered what Kakashi had said to Itachi when he didn't know I was watching.. The Akatsuki were after the Jinchuuriki.. "You're going to take Gaara?" I had tears welling up in my eyes again, this betrayal broke through whatever wall I'd put up, and whatever shell Danzo had given me.. This pain was raw, open and burning in my throat. 

"This was a mistake." Hex said softly, apology clear on her face. She nodded to Yahiko and they both vanished in a blur of motion from my room. 

That is how she was going to leave this? Eleven years of friendship, of calling each other sister and working together in our teams.. After losing each other, and finding each other, after I'd gone against every fiber of my being and joined Danzo just to be with her.. She was going to take off into the night and hunt down my baby brother with some kid she'd only spent a few months with a lifetime ago. I felt sick to my stomach but the pain of the betrayal was replaced with the slow burn of anger and I took off after her, grabbing nothing but a kunai. 

Hex was not hard for me to track, I'd spent so long under the shadow of her darkness that I could feel it even when I lingered at its edges. I followed the feeling of it, and through the village. I felt blind to everything around me, not caring that I was wearing a stupid paper gown, or that my branding was exposed. I tore through Konohagakure, through the gates, out into the woods and kept chasing her until I collided with something solid that knocked me backwards onto the ground. 

The blur of the rage that had gripped me began to fade as I looked around, taking in the reality of where I was and what had happened. I looked forwards for what I'd hit, expecting to see Kakashi had come after me but instead I was met with two glowing eyes in the darkness and that familiar velvet voice. "That wouldn't have ended well for you.." 

I fixed a glare on Itachi, pulling myself up off of the ground and tugging at my hospital gown to cover what was left of my dignity. "What the hell did you do to her? Is this another genjutsu?" 

"I didn't recruit her, she followed us after we failed to grab Naruto.. Konan found her." 

"I don't believe you." I growled, refusing to shut my eyes and be afraid of him the way I had before. While he was watching me, I'd pulled up iron behind him, shaping it into sharp knives aimed at his back. 

"Don't make me use the Sharingan, Kairi." 

"Can't fight me fairly?" I spat back.

"I'm not in the mood to do anything fair tonight, something was taken from me." He growled, and I almost heard pain in his voice. "Either come with me, or go back to Kakashi.. He needs you right now." 

I bit down on my lip, all these emotions swirling inside me at once, bringing on that nauseous feeling again. I held myself together the best I could, trying to keep a grip on reality. Some dark part inside of me was pushing me to join them, to help fix everything that was wrong with this world, to find out what they wanted with Gaara. Another part wanted to kill him, but I doubted that would put an end to the bigger picture. The anger inside of me felt like it was biting at my skin, pushing me forwards before I'd even made my decision. I lept towards the Uchiha, simultaneously sending the iron kunai at his back. There was a grunt of pain, a blur of blackness, the screeches of crows and then everything began to fade away.


	22. Aftermath.

"How about that drink now?" Tsunade asked as she left Naruto's side, having done everything she could for now.

Kakashi nodded, exhausted and lost in his own feelings of failure. He'd promised them, swore to them he would protect them and that had shattered. Sasuke was gone, Sakura was inconsolable and Naruto was half dead in a hospital bed.

Lady Tsunade linked her arm with his and gently pulled him from the room, leading him down the the local hangout. They tucked into a booth and Tsunade ordered them a bottle, which Kakashi would usually protest to but not tonight. Tonight he needed to shut it all off, to numb it down before he began to sympathize too much with what his father had done. It was happening all over again, he was losing the people most precious to him and he didn't know if he would survive it this time.

"Come on Kakashi, get out of your head." Tsunade nudged him gently, filling the glass in front of him and then again after he emptied it.

"Isn't there some rule against drinking with kids you used to babysit?" He made an attempt at a joke as he took the next drink in one shot just like the first. He remembered when they used to play drinking games, he'd never known she had anything other than the juice she'd given him.

"You're making me feel old." She complained with a smile, filling up both of their glasses once more. "Besides, you're not a kid anymore Kakashi."

He nodded, slowing down a bit as he sipped at the third drink. It wouldn't do him well to end up vomiting and crying in the streets within the hour. He sighed deeply, knowing he'd regret the question but asking it anyways. "How is she?"

"She's stable for now.. You were right, it is a curse mark -- Before you get that look, it isn't the same as the one on Sasuke." Tsunade put a hand over his in attempt to calm him as she delivered the news. "It is draining her chakra, and it will continue to do so until she is reunited with the one who cursed her."

Kakashi made a face of vile disgust, he hadn't gotten to her in time after all. He'd dragged her on that mission, right to the lair of someone who would want nothing more than to collect her jutsu, to experiment on her and turn her into one of his cursed kids. This too, like the explosive rivalry of Naruto and Sasuke was his fault. He grabbed the bottle from the table and pulled his mask down to take a huge gulp of the burning liquid. Tsunade had seen his face plenty of times, she was one of the few he didn't hide from.

She pulled the bottle from his hands, pouting at its emptiness and ordered another before her face got serious again. "I need to know why you took her on that mission."

"I don't even know why." He half laughed, shaking his head.

"I saw the archived missions, I know why you and Itachi were sent to Sunagakure." She pulled the briefing that outlined the arrangement from somewhere beneath her coat and set the aged scroll between them. "I'd think with the way things have gone for that girl, and the death of the Kazekage... the two of you are released from this arrangement."

"I know that." He sighed, adding somewhat bitterly "He chose Itachi."

"Arrangements like this are outdated Kakashi, you're almost ten years older than that girl." She was scolding him and he didn't like it so he focused on pouring himself another drink as she continued. "Whatever debt you feel is owed here, isn't."

"It isn't about a debt." He growled defensively.

"Then what is it? What the hell is this attachment?" She downed another glass. "Don't even try to deny it, that girl is broken."

"Their all broken." He laughed, waving a hand dismissively. "Naruto, Sasuke, heck even Sakura."

"This is different and you know it." She slammed her hand on the table, it made sense that she would feel so protective of him, she'd helped raise him.

"Lady Hokage!" Iruka's voice silenced her as he approached the table. "Oh hey Kakashi.. I was wondering if you had heard from Naruto."

Kakashi moved over to make room for Iruka and shoved the bottle his way, happy for a distraction from the topic and knowing he'd need it when they filled him in. He drank silently as Tsunade filled Naruto's former sensei in on what had happened, noticing that she didn't scold him for his protective concern of the boy. Iruka had taken a true investment in Naruto, emotionally involved to the point of a guardian which wasn't allowed, and something Kakashi had brought up multiple times when arguing about his decisions.

They drank in a silent tension for a while before the seats around them began to fill with familiar faces, Asuma, Kurenai, Gai.. Everyone was hurting after the events of that day and they all came together for the same relief. The depressed, tense atmosphere soon gave way to laughter, stories and drunken shenanigans. Tsunade had seemed to forget all about scolding Kakashi and in turn he forgot about his guilt, if only briefly. It felt good to let go like this, especially with everything going on. They spent hours like that, drinks kept flowing, unwanted hugs were given, tears were shed but in the end it did feel like it was an uplifting experience.

"I'm going to get Asuma home.." Kurenai laughed a little as the Jonin slurred inappropriate comments to her out loud.

"I'll come with you guys." Kakashi hiccupped, taking the excuse to get away before Tsunade could corner him again.

He really did plan to go home, he and Kurenai lived in the same building and she was doing a surprisingly good job at keeping both men on their feet as they walked through the village streets. He changed his mind, however, when he spotted the hospital. His eyes wandered to the window of the room he'd left Kairi in earlier that day, it felt like a lifetime ago. The guilt came back as he stared upwards, Obito's voice reminded him that he'd broken his promise and he let out a heavy sigh.

"Kaaaakaaaaaaaaaaaaashiiiiii" Asuma slurred, noticing that he hadn't moved and they kept walking.

"I'm going to go check on Naruto." Kakashi waved lazily.

"I don't think that is a good idea.." Kurenai tried, stone sober compared to her two companions.

"I'm fine." He tried to hold in the hiccup but failed, waving them off anyway. When Asuma had convinced Kurenai to leave him be, and he watched them both disappear down the street Kakashi made his way up the building and into the window that had been calling to him.

He was surprised to find the room empty other than Kairi who was sound asleep. Tsunade had told him she'd ordered Sakura to stay with her, and supply her with chakra. The thoughts left his mind when he realized how peacefully the girl was sleeping for once. She was lying on her back, her hands crossed over her chest and not a hint of struggle. Her body shook subtly though, shivering like she was cold but he'd seen that before. He couldn't stop himself, he kicked his shoes off by the window and made his way over to her, surprised by his own grace.

She woke up as he sat down on the edge of her bed, startled as if she had in fact been having a nightmare. Those indigo eyes scanned the room as if she was expecting to find the boogeyman there ready to pounce on her. When she saw Kakashi she calmed, laying back down in her bed and giving him a little smile. "I was having the weirdest dream.." She mused, sounding drained.

"You need some Chakra." He said softly, taking her hand in his as he shared with her.

"You sound drunk... " She raised an eyebrow.

Kakashi laughed, too loud for the silence of the sleeping hospital and she shushed him with a giggle. "You're cute." He purred at her, forcing her to shuffle over on the cot as he laid down and pulled her against his chest.

"Ugh! Did you get into a fight with a brewery?!" She teased him, smelling the alcohol on his breath. She stopped laughing as she stared at what little of his face she could see though, playfulness replaced with concern as she read him the way only she seemed to be able. "What happened?"

"It's been a long day, Kairi." He groaned, not wanting to think about it all again. He wanted her to make it okay, to take away the awfulness inside of him.

"I had a dream Hex came to see me.." She changed the subject for him. "She was joining the Akatsuki.."

"Hex hasn't been back to the village since you guys left." He'd looked into it for her, hoping to convince her friend to pay her a surprise visit. "They are tracking them."

"I figured, silly dream." She shrugged, lacing her fingers with his.

Something was different between them tonight, it had been since he'd taken her to see the sunset. Something was different with her too, she wasn't the half robot she usually was. The alcohol pushed the thoughts from his mind as he retold her a joke Asuma had told him earlier and caused her to shush him again when their laughter got too loud. The sky began to turn from black to blue as they talked about anything and everything, he told her about Minato, Obito and Rin, not lingering too long on the saddest parts of the story and she told him about her time in the Sunagakure Anbu, about Baki who'd become like a father to them.

"They are here you know.." He whispered to her, beginning to lose the fun buzz and move into the dizzy phase. "Your siblings."

"They are?" She shot up a little bit, looking around as if she expected to find them in the room.

"The village needed help today, and they came to help.. They are staying the night I think."

"What the hell did I sleep through?" She groaned.

He regretted getting onto the subject as the Final Valley rushed back into his mind, the way he'd found Naruto broken and beaten on the ground. He panicked as he felt the guilt rush back into his mind, and he was desperate to make it stop. He sat up beside Kairi and pulled her face towards his own, the eye he was born with beginning to be lost in the depths of hers. They stayed like that for a moment, their faces inches apart before the longing became to much for him. Kakashi closed the gap, pressing the fabric of the mask where it covered his lips to hers. He quickly realized what he had done and pulled back but she surprised him by closing the distance once again.

Somewhere between the soft yet urgent kisses they shared, she'd pulled his mask down enough that their lips were actually meeting. She kept her eyes closed, not stealing a glance at his face which put him at ease and let him lose himself in her. His head was swirling from the alcohol and from that sweet, lingering smell of hers. They had sank back down onto the bed, laying on their sides as they took turns pulling each other closer and tangling their legs together.

Kakashi had never kissed anyone before, not like this and even though he'd seen Itachi kiss her when he'd gazed into her eyes with his sharingan he knew she had not kissed the rogue back the way she was now kissing him. His stomach twisted from the lack of food and surplus of sake, and it broke through the haze enough to make him remember his conversation with Lady Tsunade. His brows furrowed as he fought with what he should do and what he wanted to do until he eventually pulled away from her and pulled his mask back up over his nose.

"I'm sorry." She huffed out as if she had forgotten to breath between their sweet embraces. "You're drunk.. I shouldn't have.."

"It's okay.." He said hoarsely, resisting every urge in his body. "Just get some sleep."

He pulled himself up and planted his feet firmly on the floor as she grabbed his arm, causing him to look back at her. Her face was distorted with the effort of not crying. "I said I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.. Please stay."

His heart dropped as he realised that look in her eyes was rejection, he'd hurt her. He quickly pulled his vest off and slid back down beside her where he pulled her against his chest and kissed her for head. She pulled the blankets up over both of them and tried to speak again but he hushed her, telling her to sleep.


	23. Don't Let It Show.

"Uh... Sensei?" A young voice caused me to stir out of my dreamless sleep.

I groaned softly, feeling like I'd only gotten a few moments of sleep as I shoved something off of of me, causing the snoring mound beside me to grunt and adjust his arm before falling back into sleep. I looked at Kakashi, confused for a moment before I remembered what had happened last night, and then looked up the the door with a blush.

"I'm sorry to intrude!" Sakura said quickly, looking shocked at the scene before her.

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes as I assured her it was okay, that we had just fallen asleep when he came to make sure I was okay. I even pulled the blankets back off Kakashi a bit to prove to her he was dressed. He groaned in protest, grabbed the blankets and pulled them back up over his head before he rolled and stretched to the point that I was teetering on the edge of the bed. I pushed on him lightly, but he just returned to snoring, and the now overpowering scent of alcohol was enough to make me get up.

"Your sensei is hungover.." I offered her the explication as she looked between him and I.

"Well, I came to see you anyways." She refocused, furrowing her brows a little. "I was hoping you would come to breakfast with me.. Naruto is still resting and Tsunade is busy.. And I just don't want to be alone.."

I knew that feeling, and I knew that nobody should feel it so I nodded before she could finish blurting out her explication.

"Is it okay if Ino and Hinata come too?" She asked timidly, biting her lip.

It was my turn to be nervous, my hand instinctively covering up the brand on my arm but when I saw the pleading in her eyes I couldn't help but give in. "Alright, but let me go to my apartment and change?"

She nodded excitedly and walked me back to the home Naruto and I were supposed to share. It didn't look like the brat had been here yet, everything was just as I had left it the day before. "Sakura, what happened last night?" I asked as I sorted through what little clothing I had.

" Yesterday morning? Kakashi Sensei didn't tell you?!" She was genuinely shocked.

"No.." I answered, trying to avoid the subject of him being drunk or us kissing... Had we? Was that just another dream? And did I really sleep for a full day?

"That's surprising.. He seems like he's really attached to you.."

I blushed deeply, happy that I was turned away from her. She was prying, and I didn't feel like trying to dissect what was happening right now. "He didn't."

"Sasuke left the village, the genin went out after him. I guess there was some of Orochimaru's friends out there.. The sand siblings had to come help out.. Anyway.. Naruto and Sasuke fought.." her voice started to break up too much to continue.

"That's why Naruto is in the hospital?" I was filling in the blanks.

Sakura simply nodded sadly. "They all are."

"I am sorry Sakura, this must be very difficult for you." I wasn't sure what else to say, what else I could say.

I dressed quickly after that, taking the time to brush out my rats nest of a ponytail. I pulled on a green, Konoha sweater that the Hokage had sent over, happy that it would cover up my Anbu markings and then a pair of black fabric pants that were mostly used in training.

We met the others at the barbeque place, which was odd for breakfast but my stomach was growling so loudly I didn't feel like arguing. Sakura introduced me with the now accepted story, that my name was Saori and I was the niece of Lady Hokage. It took a while to move past the pain these girls were in, they were all worried about someone important to them and I felt like an outsider not knowing them.

"Haven't I seen you with Kakashi Sensei?" The blonde asked me, Ino.

"She's his secret girlfriend." Sakura teased.

I blushed and sunk into my seat, causing the quiet girl to speak up.

"Hey, don't tease her or spread rumors." Hinata said, her voice as sweet as honey. "We should make her feel welcome."

"I'm sorry Saori, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." Sakura smiled at me. "It's just, I haven't seen him spend so much time with anyone before."

"I heard Naruto is supposed to be living with you?" Ino asked, changing the subject as she placed some grilled meat on my plate.

"What?" Hinata burst, sending her empty cup flying and then apologizing a million times as she turned bright red.

The other girls giggled and I couldn't help but do the same. It was so obvious that she had a crush on the Konoha Brat, I'd seen her staring at him multiple times before. "I'm going to be like a big sister to him." I grinned proudly, trying to put her mind at ease.

Ino suddenly jumped up from the table, waving towards the door as she called "Hey! Shikamaru over here!"

I grinned, that must be the lazy chunin Asuma was so proud of.

Shikamaru walked over with his hands in his pockets, slouching a little as he greeted the girls at the table. "Girls day huh? How lame."

"It beats spending all my time with you boys." Ino glared at him, then laughed a little. "I'm so proud of you!"

"I failed my mission.." Shikamaru sighed, adjusting uncomfortably. He looked at me, obviously trying to find a change of subject "Whose the new girl?"

"This is Saori, she's just moved here." Hinata offered, giving me an encouraging smile.

"Shikamaru! I got us a table!" An all too familiar voice called to him from the other side of the restaurant.

"You're here with Temari?!" Sakura and Ino asked in unison and mirrored shock.

"Yeah.. She's trying to cheer me up.. What a drag." He groaned as he waved goodbye and walked away to meet my sister.

I was sitting so that I was facing away from her, and thankful for it. She could recognize me and completely blow my cover in front of everyone. I bit my lip, for the first time wishing that my new life wasn't built on lies, I wanted to go see her.

"Since when are we friends with those sand siblings?" Sakura asked with a little shutter. I imagined that she was thinking of Gaara, of what he had become.

"They helped them out there, they must want to make up for everything." Ino shrugged. "Besides, puppet boy is pretty cute!"

I couldn't help my reaction, I raised both of my eyebrows in shock. I had never thought about girls thinking Kankuro was cute before.. I had this odd protective feeling that made me want to fight her.

"Ew Ino pig!" Sakura growled. "Desperate much?"

Now I wanted to fight Sakura.

"Are you okay?" Hinata asked in my direction, obviously having seen my reactions.

I shoved a few pieces of meat greedily into my mouth as I got up, nodding to her instead of talking with my mouthful.

"Um? Choji much?" Ino snorted but I ignored her as I forced myself to chew and swallow the meat.

"Where are you going?" Sakura asked, standing up as if she would follow me.

"Um, I forgot I am supposed to go see Lady Tsunade." I lied, waving a quick goodbye and rushing out.

My siblings were here, in Konohagakure.. After all these years, forcing myself to feel nothing for them I couldn't fight it now. Something was changing in me, and I missed them deeply.

Temari wasn't an option, not right now anyway. She was with Shikamaru and didn't know my fake life story. So instead of bothering my sister on her date, I stood in the heart of the village trying to think of where my brothers would be right now.

It wasn't lost on me how reminiscent this was of three kids, playing hide and seek a lifetime ago. Back then I'd known them, I had known their habits, strengths and weaknesses.. Now we were strangers. I was weak then though, now I was something different.

I pressed my palms together, calling my third eye out from the mineral rich dirt beneath my feet. Anything magnetic responded to my call and I shut both of my eyes, launching that third eye high up above me, above the village. Desperately I looked around for a glimpse of crimson hair, but it was a man dressed in black, with a wrapped object on his back that drew my eye.

I took off running, not caring enough to climb onto the rooftops to avoid the people I was pushing past. Instead of vicious words about a traitor, they laughed and brushed it off as if I was one of their own. I took three blocks like they were nothing and when I rounded the last corner I couldn't contain myself. I jumped on the man in black, sending us both toppling down onto the ground.

Kankuro groaned and cursed loudly as he shoved my body off of his and pulled the wrapped puppet around to examine the damage. I couldn't help but giggle at the smudged kabuki paint on his face, the grown up face of our father.

"HEY WHAT THE HELL!?" He shouted in my direction as he stood up, but then his face fell in confusion, and brightened to match my own excitement. "Kai..."

"Hey little brother." I mused cooley, masking the nervous feeling that was building inside me. When he extended a hand and pulled me to my feet, I realized he was no longer my snot nosed little brother as I had to look upwards at his face.

He stared at me for a moment, taking in the Konoha sweater with a confused look before he grabbed my arm and tugged me against his chest, wrapping me in the tightest hug I'd ever experienced. "I thought you were dead" he whispered against my hair.

I couldn't contain myself this time, I broke into tears against his shoulder and my body shook with sobs in his arms. He was so grown up and I had missed all of it, I'd missed their entire lives. I immediately hated myself for not going back when I had heard our father had died, for not braving my fate to be with them.

"Hey, shh.. It's okay Kai." He cooed softly, sounding more like the little boy I'd left years ago. "We are here now."

I pushed back away from him so I could look up at his face again, breaking out with a grin as I rubbed kabuki paint away with my sleeve. "I have missed you every single day." it wasn't really a lie, I had missed them, I'd just taken the feeling and shoved it deep down inside of me.


	24. Family Forever.

I started feeling faint as I sat in my sibling's hotel room, filling Kankuro in on my life as I admired the little pieces of their lives that I could see scattered around the room like Temari's fans. I had become so tired of lying that I told him every inch of truth I knew, from the moment I was separated from them that day so long ago. I'd gotten to the point in the story of joining the Konoha foundation when Temari came through the door, a stupid grin on her face that faded into confusion as she laid eyes on me.

Neither Kankuro or I had a chance to speak before Temari was on her knees digging through a suitcase. I stared at her in wonder as she threw clothes left and right until she finally produced a well worn white bear with an eye half falling off of its head. Once she had it, she pushed herself to her feet and crossed the room to where I now stood, hugging me tightly and squishing the bear between us. "I knew I'd find you someday, I've brought him everywhere."

That eerie yet familiar warmth from the teddy radiated between us, and I hugged my sister tightly against me. I'd felt so lost all of these years that I'd forgotten what home felt like, being here was a close reminder.

Temari pulled back from me with tears in her eyes as she smiled and looked to Kankuro "Does Gaara know?"

"Does Gaara know what?" A dark voice came from the window behind me and I heard what sounded like sand pouring into the room.

Temari and Kankuro stared behind me with a mixture of excitement, guilt and fear on their faces as I heard feet hit the floor and the sound of footsteps approaching. "Who is this?" He asked dismissively.

I pulled away from Temari and turned towards the Crimson haired root of my nightmares and my guilt. My bright eyed, baby brother. He stood inches from me, his head tilted slightly, the Kanji for love standing out on his forehead and a dark look in his eyes as he slowly appraised me. His eyes landed on the bear in my hands and he quickly snatched it away, shooting a deathly, accusing glare at Temari.

"I told you to leave this bear in her room." He spat at her, shaking the little teddy in his hands.

"Gaa-"

The look my baby brother gave me stole the breath from my lips. "How dare you touch this." Each of his words were a venomous bite. "I'll kill you."

"Gaara!" Kankuro had stood now, grabbing my arm and yanking me away from Gaara's snaking sands so that he was between me and our brother. "This is your sister, that is her bear."

Gaara shook his head, for a brief moment pain washed over his gaze. "Our sister is dead." He growled.

"She's not!" Temari argued, and I could tell coming here was a mistake.

"I killed her." Gaara growled, pulling at his hair as if it were hurting him.

My legs were starting to grow weak, tiredness was flowing over my body as I watched my siblings argue.

"Step aside and let me deal with this imposter." Gaara demanded, causing Temari to stand on front of Kankuro, further shielding me.

I leaned against Kankuro's puppetless back, looking past Gaara to the window where he'd come in. There was a little dog there, tail wagging with his paws up on the sill.

"Gaara I swear to you, this is Kaori.. I told you that father lied to you." Temari whimpered like a child towards our baby brother.

Gaara was grabbing his head with both hands now, groaning in pain as his body shook. I wanted to go to him, to comfort him and let him know it would all be okay but from where my siblings stood I knew I shouldn't.

A swirl of sand lashed out, launching towards the three of us with deadly force and before I could even react a large stone wall burst up in the middle of the room. The sand crashed against it, sending cracks through its structure from where my little brothers sand had hit.

I heard a frustrated growl from the other side of the room, but before I could comprehend what had happened someone had lifted me off the ground and was running from the room with me cradled against their chest.

"Kairi!" I heard my sister shouting as she pursued us. 

Once we were out of the village and in the forest, Kakashi sat me down against a tree and knelt down in front of me, his hands on my face as he examined me for wounds.

"What...how?!" I sputtered out stupidly, but I knew how. As soon as I'd seen the little dog in the window, I knew Kakashi was looking for me.

He smiled under his mask, pressing it to my forehead briefly before he was gone again. This time when my eyes found him, he was standing a few feet away, weaving hand signs faster than my eyes could follow. Lighting burst from his right hand as he glared into the darkness of the forest.

"LET ME KILL HER." A sick, deranged sounding voice called from somewhere in the dark. As twisted as the sound was, I could hear Gaara within it.

When I realized what was happening the world around me went silent and still.. My eyes moved from Kakashi, with a fist full of lighting, to the blue eyes I could barely see emerging from the darkness. Gaara had followed us, and Kakashi...

"No!" I screamed, shoving myself to my feet and in a burst of speed I never knew I could accomplish I ran to my baby brother, shoving him out of the way as I turned to see lighting speeding towards us. In the slowness of the way the world moved when I felt I was going to die, I saw Kakashi's eyes go wide with surprise and fear and then I saw the lightning die in his hand.

Normal speed returned as his body collided with mine, the force he had launched himself at Gaara with sent us flying towards the trees but he pulled me against his chest and turned himself so he would take the blows instead of me. As the last tree took the blow without splitting, we sank to the ground and Kakashi pulled me tightly against his body. I could hear his chest pounding, feel his body shaking and hear his panting as he softly whispered "Rin."

I didn't have a second to process as I heard the snap of a branch and looked up to see Gaara approaching us with a bloodthirsty, crazy look in his eye. I struggled to get Kakashi to let go of me, but every time I removed one of his arms he'd grab onto another part of my body and pull me closer. His eyes were shut tightly and he was rocking a bit in place, he wasn't even paying attention to what was happening.

"Gaara!" I called to my brother. "It's me, it's Kai.."

"She is dead!" He growled back. "It was my fault."

My heart hurt, he'd spent all these years thinking he had killed me. I struggled again against Kakashi as I saw sand pouring out of the gourd on the jinchuuriki's back. "Gaara, no.. I'm right here!"

When he lashed out again with that sand, I pulled my own magnetic jutsu to my defense, calling heavy irons as I covered Gaara's sands with it and forced it to the ground. He fell to his knees, ripping at his hair as I softly cooed to him, pulling myself out of Kakashi's grasp finally. He looked more like my baby brother now, crumpled on the ground crying as he tried to process everything. I knelt in front of him and when he looked up to me his eyes were wide and vulnerable.

"I've done everything for you." I cried as I pulled him into a hug. "I love you Gaara."

I felt his hands ball into fists and readied myself for another attack, but slowly the tension left him and he hugged me back just as tightly as Kankuro had. "Kai.."

I smiled, and kissed the Kanji on his forehead as I felt the last of the energy leave my body.


	25. Truth Hurts.

I spent the next week in the hospital with regular visits from my siblings and from Lady Tsunade. We had realized that for some reason, when I was holding that white Teddy my chakra didn't drain as fast. Tsunade had commented that it may be possible for my mothers Chakra to be stored in the bear, and that it was sustaining me. This made me cling to it even more during the nights alone.

Tsunade and Sakura had finally come up with a seal that would keep the curse mark dormant and unable to drain my chakra and I'd been able to go back to the apartment. I couldn't help but smile as I pulled open the door and heard voices inside, hoping to find Kakashi here waiting for me. I was slightly disappointed when I found Naruto with a few Genin boys.

I hadn't seen Kakashi since that day in the forest, he'd been as robotic as anyone from the root as he made sure I got back to the hospital and that I was safe. I'd asked Tsunade if he'd been sent out on a mission but she hadn't given me a straight answer, and had told me it would be for the best if we spent some time apart. That had hurt, but it hadn't stopped me from sitting in the hospital bed waiting for him every night.

"Saori!" Naruto chimed, bringing me back to the present. "Welcome home!"

I grinned at the blonde boy, and ruffled his hair as I moved closer. He'd come to visit me a few times, once he'd heard that we were roommates. He had told me about how he was going to go away with Jiraiya in order to get stronger and bring Sasuke home. The kid had a way of being inspiring even when the cards were stacked against him.

"Hey Brat." I laughed, looking behind him to the other boys. "What's all this?"

"We were just talking about our plans for the next few months." Shikamaru offered.

"You really think you will be gone that long?" I asked Naruto as I sat down beside him.

"I hope not, but with pervy sage you never know."

I snorted a laugh, shaking my head at the nickname and glad I hadn't got one yet.

"Maybe you'll be gone so long I'll be Hokage when you get back." A brown haired boy smirked, petting a small dog in his lap.

The afternoon went on like that, sitting with these boys and dreaming up what everyone was going to do with their training to become better shinobi. I was just about to order supper when a sharp knock came at the door, making my heart skip as I opened it hoping to find a silver haired Jonin.

"Hey." Gaara said as he saw my surprised face. "We need to talk."

I smiled at my little brother, trying to hide the disappointment and called to Naruto that I would be back. I followed him through the village and up the hill towards the Hokage's office, wondering what could be wrong. Temari and Kankuro were waiting at the doors, and fell into step with us as I noticed they were both trying to hide smiles. That took some of the edge off of things.

We entered Lady Tsunade's office, who also greeted us with a suspicious smile. Once we had all sat down, she began to speak.

"Kairi, I know you haven't got to go on many missions as a member of my Anbu but I want you to know that I have nothing but awe and respect for your abilities." Before I could thank her, she continued. "Which is why I am going to be sad to see you leave us."

My questioning gaze was met with her nod towards my youngest brother.

Gaara was leaning against a wall, watching the rest of us with almost disinterest until I looked to him and his eyes lit "You're coming home, Kai."

I stared at him, dumbfounded. "What?!"

"You're coming home with us." Temari repeated, unable to keep the excitement from her voice. "Baki is standing in for Kazekage and has promised your safety."

Baki.. Even his name made me smile. The man who had been more a father to me then my own knew how.. He had heard of my being alive and had put all the pieces in place for me to come home. I missed him terribly, and my excitement was almost bursting "When!?"

"Tomorrow." Kro spoke this time, with a bit of a bite to his words. I'd told him about my time spent here, and about the Jonin I'd spent it with. He'd thrown his soba noodles at the mirror in their hotel room and spewed more curses then I'd known existed. 'He was using you.' he'd spat at me 'that's why he doesn't want to see you.'

His words had hit deep, opening wounds I had forgotten I had. Deep down I knew he was trying to be protective of me, but it hurt more than if he'd cut me down.

Tomorrow.. Kankuro wanted me away from Kakashi, and the sooner the better for him. It was bittersweet, my own anger was building at the copy ninja for avoiding me like this but I also wanted nothing more than to speak with him the way I had those few nights we stayed up talking.

"Thank you." I bowed my head to them, keeping my composure as I stood and left the room. I felt bad, knowing I should be leaving with Temari to go pack and talk about all the things we would do once we were home...

Home.. After all that had happened that word felt so foreign.

"Kairi?" Kankuro's voice followed me as I walked down the village street. "Just stop, talk to me."

I turned to my brother with tears in my eyes and he met me with a hug. He gently brushed my hair back from my face and dried the tears with the sleeve of his sweater. "I need to show you something that I found in father's office."

I nodded and let him lead me back towards the apartment I shared with Naruto. Jiraiya must have come for him while I was with my siblings because the house was empty and a note was stuck to the fridge. Through my tear blurred eyes I could only see the words Goodbye for now! Though it made me smile, we'd had so few days together but I knew he was going to come back stronger and I believed that.

Kankuro and I sat down on the couch and he shuffled around in his pockets until he pulled out a piece of paper that looked like it had been crumpled and uncrumpled a few times. "I thought about burning it, but you deserve to know." He said softly as he handed it to me.

I felt my brothers concerned eyes on me as I uncrumpled the paper and stared at it. It was a letter, written in Rasa's hand and directed towards Konoha's late Hokage. It outlined the request for an arrangement between myself and one of the two best Konohagakure had to offer. Rasa wrote that after meeting with the candidates, he was impressed by Uchiha Itachi and Hatake Kakashi. My heart sank as I realized there was no way that Kakashi didn't know about this. He continued to write that while he had originally favored Itachi, his fierce loyalty towards Konoha would better serve the Hokage and that he thought Kakashi would be the better suitor for his eldest daughter.

"What does this mean?" I whimpered to Kro as he slid an arm around my shoulders.

"It means, Kairi.. That your Jonin was supposed to be Kazekage by your side.. This arrangement would have given him power." He was trying to be gentle, but gentle never suited Kankuro. "It means he was hoping that you would still become Kazekage, that the arrangement would still stand and that he could have Sunagakure.. He probably backed off when we showed up because he knew one of us would tell you."

I felt sick to my stomach and once again I hated the idea of feeling anything at all.

"I need to be alone." I blurted before stuffing the scroll into my pocket and running from the apartment.


	26. No Place Like Home.

Kakashi sighed as he approached the gates of Konoha, his limbs screaming for a hot shower and a soft bed. That's not what he would get though, he'd go straight to Lady Tsunade's office and ask her for his next mission as he had the last two times he'd come back to the village this week.

Asuma let out a deep yawn from beside him, muttering something about just wanting to cuddle up and sleep for a few days. Kurenai giggled an agreement and Kakashi groaned.

"We can take another mission." The copy ninja suggested in a monotone.

Asuma glared at him through the smoke of his lit cigarette "Look Kakashi, just because you won't tell us what's wrong doesn't mean we are going to keep going like this just so you have a distraction."

"Asuma!" Kurenai scolded her lover.

Kakashi gave a bored shrug "fine, go home.. I'll grab another team."

Asuma looked as if he would say something, but then decided it wasn't worth it as he tossed his smoke onto the ground and walked off towards the village. Kurenai gave their friend an apologetic look, but with a nod from Kakashi she followed behind Asuma.

Alone now, Kakashi put his hands over his face and rubbed as if he could awaken himself by bringing circulation back. When he closed his eyes though, he saw what he'd been avoiding. He saw Rin's face when he'd hit her with his chidori a lifetime ago, and it faded from Rin's haunting gaze to the acceptance of death that had been on Kairi's face as she'd jumped in front of him to save her brother. His head swirled and he braced himself as his stomach did the same, making him want to throw up.

When he opened his eyes again he saw through the darkness someone running down the pathway, and soon figured out it was Kairi. With his sharingan he could see that her face was a mess and she was blinded by tears. He had to blink a few times, but realized this was real in time to catch her by the shoulders and pull her sobbing and shaking against his chest.

"What happened?" He asked, trying to keep his emotions choked down.

When those indigo eyes looked up to him he was met with pain and bitterness that knocked his breath out of him. She bit her lip choking on another sob as she started to hit him. In her emotional state, those hits did nothing against his toned and trained chest but the effort hurt. She couldn't speak through her tears but he spotted a paper clutched in her hand.

Kakashi spun Kairi around and pulled her back against his chest, using his left arm to pin her arms against her sides as he snatched the paper with his right and read it.

"He chose me?" He breathed against her hair in bewilderment.

"I hate you." She sobbed against his arm.

He gazed at her in surprise, it hurt to hear that. He understood it though, he should have told her what he and Itachi had been doing in her village all those years ago. The sight of her in front of his chidori flashed in front of his eyes again. Everyone he'd ever cared about was dead, how much longer until she was too?

"Let go of her." A male voice demanded and Kakashi looked up to see Gaara standing just down the path.

He did as he was demanded and released Kairi, who stood between him and her brother. So much for hating him if she was going to protect him now.

"Kairi." Gaara's dark, demanding voice called to her "shouldn't you be packing?"

Kakashi watched as she turned back to face him, no sign of pain on her face as she spoke "I'll never be Kazekage, that arrangement will never be fulfilled.."

He nodded, not knowing how to respond to that. "You should go with your brother."

Her stone face cracked as she stared at him, that painful look of rejection in her eyes once more as she begged him to tell her it wasn't true.

Kakashi bit his lip beneath his mask, wanting to go to her and hold her and calm the storm inside her but when he looked at her face he saw Rin's and the look in her eyes as he killed her. "You and I are no good to each other."

\---

I didn't sleep in the empty apartment that held so many hopes of a home that night. In fact I didn't sleep at all, I lay awake squashed between Temari and Kankuro as I thought about everything that had happened. I felt like a foolish child that had been lead astray, and then mocked for it. Deep in the depths of my bones the emptiness grew.

"You need to sleep." Gaara whispered from where he laid at the bottom of the bed.

"I know." I answered dully.

He turned, propping himself up on his elbow and avoiding Kankuro's feet as he shifted in his sleep. "I'll kill him if you want me to."

I half laughed, just a breath of air. "I thought you were different now?"

"Naruto showed me a different way, but I would still kill him for you."

I shook my head and sighed "Don't kill anyone unless you have to, mom wouldn't have wanted that for you."

He winced a little "What was she like?"

"She was beautiful." I smiled at the memory, glad to have it. "And she loved you, more than any of us."

Gaara grunted, letting out a huff of air. "Nobody has ever loved me."

I went to correct him, but he'd vanished out the window before I thought of what I could say. I sighed, knowing that Gaara isn't the type of person you go after and cuddled closer to my sleeping sister.

Tomorrow we would leave this village, I would go home with them.. And all would be right in the world again..


End file.
